January. The time of every year where people make "resolutions" that they promise to keep this time. No, really. They will. It's sooo different than last January. And yet, by February (or if lucky by March)it's all forgotten and back to our old tricks and nasty habits.
I learned last year, that you can't force yourself to do things, just because you learned from a young age what and who you're supposed to be, or think that's how you're supposed to be. Last year I gave myself Goals. Yes, I like to call them Goals, maybe it's just a less fancy word but it isn't as daunting as RESOLUTION (which is defined as 'a firm determination'---scary!). Yes, smoking is bad for you and you should quit. And January comes around and you do. For about 3 weeks and then you go back to smoking. Because you weren't ready to let it go, you needed more time! But everyone told you to do it and you listened. Foolish.
I wrote down things that I've wanted to do, or was supposed to do but never did, the projects that I never finished. I wrote the most plausible and easiest to accomplish at the top and then continued with the bigger things. I wrote this list with the desire of completing these things within the year but recognized that I may not be ready for some of them. Sometimes, people fail to realize that they aren't ready for certain things in their lives and forcing yourself to do something is counterproductive and usually always ends in failure.
So, some things from horrid 2012 have rolled into the new year. I recognize that I needed a little more time. And that's ok. Because life is all about timing and patience and I think I may have finally mastered that recently.
I began writing this blog a few years ago, because I wasn't taking many classes and I felt that I was getting stupid and forgot how to properly write. Although last year I didn't write as much as I should've, I'm actually surprised it's survived this long. I tend to get bored of things easily and abandon them, but it's still here and its' the same link from the beginning and I'm quite proud of that. That's one of the goals this year: write more blog posts. I think I'm going to get a check plus for that goal.
