Last week I looked in the mirror and realized that I've aged. I knew it was going to happen at some point. It's fucking scary.
We don't realize how much we age because we see the same face in the mirror day after day. Except, we probably don't really see it. We don't study it, it just exists so we look past it. Until that day when we finally LOOK.
We never think of ourselves as old. Our twenties fly by and we're pretty much the same person as in high school, just a bit more mature with a lot more bills. And in our 30's we get married and have kids and don't have time to look at anything let alone ourselves. And then, we fall into the abyss of time. And some, age well. And some, not so much. Genetically I'm pretty lucky--there's no one who has aged so badly that they needed to be locked in a belltower. But if that 30 seconds of being concerned that I need to finally invest in an eyecream was THAT scary now, I can only imagine the intensity of the shock when it happens again in 15 years. And then in 25 years. I can't even wrap my head around the concept of me being that old. I strain to try to picture myself and I can't. I can't see myself past a certain age and that's frightening. And then my head hurts. And then I remember that I should stop squinting my eyes because it's not helping the lines so I open my eyes really wide and hold them like that until someone passes and asks me what I'm doing.
I understand why Snow White's step mother had that mirror. She was a bitch, but she was scared. She really looked into the mirror for those 30 seconds just like I did and realized she needed to go to Sephora STAT or...kill everyone who could be considered better looking than she was...Now I kind of feel bad for her.
I want to interview people about aging. Maybe I'll make a documentary about the shock of aging and people can shares their stories. And then I'll have a segment where I show people who have aged poorly and the caption can be "don't feel bad about your lines, you could look like THIS!" Maybe I'll start it the next time I really look into the truth glass...
Monday, March 4, 2013
Silence Is Not Golden, It's Silent
There are signs on the train that say "if you see something, say something". We don't listen to them.
We need to start just saying things. You know when people get really old and they might be senile (or they may not be) but they start being abrupt. They just say things, like unfiltered children, and you're like "grandma! you can't say things like THAT to someone!" And they just shrug it off and go about their business because they're old and death's coming for them and they have nothing to lose. We should live life like that more...like death is coming for us. Because, it really is. We never know when we're gonna go and every single one of us can count at least 5 instances right now where we regret not saying what we wanted to say. Feelings, crimes, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, we should just say them all. We should feel comfortable saying "I don't agree with you because" or "I don't think it's fair that" or "I'm going to tell you some facts and you may not like them". We should. But we don't.
There have been a few instances where I've tried to get other people to say things, to be honest to someone or about something. Just to say it so it's out there. And they don't and everyone's answer is the same, they don't want to rock the boat or they don't want to be the one person who speaks up. But if everyone is thinking the same and not wanting to be the first one then no one is doing anything. It seems like a stupid neverending circle: you don't say something, no one says anything, it happens, you still don't say anything....
Not saying anything is fine if you're content about what's happening. The problem is when you're not. When people are becoming more and more offended or hurt by something or annoyed but are not saying anything to change it. You can't do the same thing and expect a different result. You know what Einstein called that? Insanity. You are insane if you're not making changes.
Someone brought up that being that honest would cause chaos. The trick is, for everyone to be honest to be honest and not to be mean. It may take some time for that to happen, but in the end I think it would work. To be able to say something to someone and for them to calmly (and sanely) say "I hear you and I can see your side but I still don't agree. But I appreciate you taking the time to tell me". How nice does that sound?! But that means that we'll have to get rid of all these emotion-driven women first....where to begin.
We need to start just saying things. You know when people get really old and they might be senile (or they may not be) but they start being abrupt. They just say things, like unfiltered children, and you're like "grandma! you can't say things like THAT to someone!" And they just shrug it off and go about their business because they're old and death's coming for them and they have nothing to lose. We should live life like that more...like death is coming for us. Because, it really is. We never know when we're gonna go and every single one of us can count at least 5 instances right now where we regret not saying what we wanted to say. Feelings, crimes, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, we should just say them all. We should feel comfortable saying "I don't agree with you because" or "I don't think it's fair that" or "I'm going to tell you some facts and you may not like them". We should. But we don't.
There have been a few instances where I've tried to get other people to say things, to be honest to someone or about something. Just to say it so it's out there. And they don't and everyone's answer is the same, they don't want to rock the boat or they don't want to be the one person who speaks up. But if everyone is thinking the same and not wanting to be the first one then no one is doing anything. It seems like a stupid neverending circle: you don't say something, no one says anything, it happens, you still don't say anything....
Not saying anything is fine if you're content about what's happening. The problem is when you're not. When people are becoming more and more offended or hurt by something or annoyed but are not saying anything to change it. You can't do the same thing and expect a different result. You know what Einstein called that? Insanity. You are insane if you're not making changes.
Someone brought up that being that honest would cause chaos. The trick is, for everyone to be honest to be honest and not to be mean. It may take some time for that to happen, but in the end I think it would work. To be able to say something to someone and for them to calmly (and sanely) say "I hear you and I can see your side but I still don't agree. But I appreciate you taking the time to tell me". How nice does that sound?! But that means that we'll have to get rid of all these emotion-driven women first....where to begin.
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