Charles Darwin

So, I’m reading Darwins’ ‘Origin of Species’ (since the beginning of November….). Not for school, for fun. Why? I don’t know. I like Darwin. I had to do a presentation on him for my Victorian lit class a couple of years ago and I found him interesting. We read an excerpt and it intrigued me. It must’ve been the only interesting part of the 385 page book though….damn excerpts. My coworkers voice their disbelief every day. Whenever someone walks by while I'm eating lunch, they either say ‘I can’t believe you’re reading that?!’ and shake their head or mock me and say that it’s taking too long to finish and that I’m going to give up. They want to take bets of when I’ll (if I’ll) actually finish it.

They underestimate my determination. I actually work better when people underestimate me. Maybe they’re right though. Maybe I am wasting my time. I’ve been known to do that with many things. I know my limits though. When to say no. There’s a point when enough is enough. It takes me pretty long to reach it but once I do, it’s over.

What am I going to get from reading this? Probably nothing. I’m not getting graded, not impressing people, nothing. Or, maybe it’ll change my life by the end of it. Who knows. Because we usually get something from 98% of the things we experience. We learn, we grow, we change. Or, it could be a gigantic waste of time. Like watching Godfather 2. Which I realized 30 minutes into that it was inconsequential to sit through 4 hours and 25 minutes of it and I abandoned mission.

See, I know when to quit.

I am waiting for the day Alex Trebek announces: “And the final category is ‘Charles Darwin’….cuz I got that shit.

Weird Things Happen In The Woods...

Last May, a few of us from work took a bunch of Bronx kids to go hiking on Bear Mountain. I don't know who thought that was a grand idea but...

So, after much complaining about the walking, and the bugs, and how we were lost for 3 hours (stupid hidden trail markers), we finally made it back to the picnic area. We were all starving so we sat down to eat. We looked over and noticed that after her sandwich, one of the students pulled out a glass jar of baby food and proceeded to spoon out the pureed bananas and eat them.
We looked at her in awe and confusion. With attitude she said "what? It's delicious".

Sweety, the debate of the deliciousness was not the point of our confusion. It was the weirdness of a 15 year old who was fully capable of chewing and swallowing eating mashed up bananas out of a jar that perplexed us.

You can't come back from that...

I'm On A Boat

This is what i learned while stuck on a ship for a week:

1. I am addicted to my blackberry and facebook and I am not ashamed to say it. The happiest I was on the trip was when we got service for half a day while in Florida. Unfortunately, Poseidon was angered by my happiness and decided to take my electronics from me halfway through the trip. I am now left phoneless and fidgeting like a crack addict in rehab.

2. Sea sickness is no joke. I imagine morning sickness is the same. In that case, if I am so lucky to be afflicted by morning sickness, I will probably be the angriest pregnant woman you will ever encounter. I don't like feeling sick. I don't like not having control over what/how I feel. It makes me angry...and, you don't want to see me when I'm angry....

3. I love NYC. I miss it every time I'm away. It's always nice to get away for a bit, but after a few days I really do miss it. I miss the noises and smells and bustle. There's no place like it. And even though it's annoying at times and too hectic, it feels like home. When I got back into the city, I walked from 86th street to 118th street just to see the dirty melting snow in the streets and the crackheads on the sidewalk. ah....

4. Trips of leisure are not for me. My travelling usually includes museums, parks and learning about the history of the city/town I'm in. I don't care for sleeping in, wandering around aimlessly and searching for a bit of sun to sit in. I like making itineraries and having a plan. I like museums. Lesson learned.

5. Just because something is labeled 'unlimited' or 'free' means people will act like caged animals clamoring to get at it. You can eat as much food as you want on a cruise and because people are aren't paying for it then and there, gives them the license to eat 5 meals a day, consisting of 2 plates at each meal. Gross. Meanwhile, you paid for it in the initial price of the trip and you will be paying for it the rest of your life as your arteries slowly begin to shut down from the 3 32 oz. steaks you ate every day for a week. This excludes ice cream of course because it is delicious at any point of the day and should be unlimited and free not only on ships but in every corner of the world.

6. Paradise Island in the Bahamas should be renamed 'we will take everything from you' island. The strong under tow of the ocean and the wrath of Poseidon caused me to lose my footing while walking on the beach which caused my purse and clothes to fall in the water.
These are the things I lost there:
- $40 at roulette. I knew I shouldn't have sat down but I did anyway. Usually I get a feeling that tells me it's OK to play which leads me to win. I didn't have that feeling and I didn't listen to my head.
-my blackberry
-my camera
-an unread, brand new Daniel Defoe novel "Moll Flanders"
-my sanity
- my dignity

7. Family makes you crazy. Being cooped up in a tiny cabin with your siblings for a week is probably not a good way to build stronger bonds. I wasn't very pleasant by the end. Losing my crackberry didn't help the situation. At least, I won't be obligated to go home any time soon....


I came, I saw, I probably won't do it again. It was an experience though.

Hot Pockets (no, it's not a euphemism . For once)

Hot pockets are stupid. They’re highly caloric and not really filling at all. And, they never cook just right. They either have cold spots when you bite into them or burn your tongue. You can’t win with the hot pocket.
Stupid invention.

Fate Or Coincidence?

Isn’t it amazing that we interact with hundreds of people a day, but don’t really connect with them at all? I was taking a walk a couple weeks ago and noticed that I really wasn’t looking at anyone I passed. I just passed them. They were a sea of bodies that I tried not to run into on my way to my destination. What’s weird is that there are probably 3-5 people you just passed who have some connection to you. Your friends’ boss, the aunt of a girl you went to high school with…we’re all connected but we’re not. Which is sad. Our disinterest and lack of awareness is sad.

There have been times when I stated I was at a location and someone else said “I was there too!” or “I was there earlier in the day”. Is that coincidence or fate? I’m not sure about that question. I strongly believe everything happens for a reason. The things that occur, the people you meet…all fated to occur at some point for one reason or another. The more practical side of my brain claims that things happen when they happen and sometimes align with other events without reason. I’m always torn between the two.

There’s an incident that sticks out for me. I went to the movies with MoJo last spring. We decided to walk up 2nd ave for no reason other than it was a nice night. On our walk, a car pulled up with people we knew. 1.6 million people on the island of Manhattan. 8.3 million in all 5 boroughs. 4 people happen to be at the same corner at the same time on the same night. Now, there was no reason for Music Man and Co. to be driving off the Queensborough bridge at that time. Nor did they have to cross the 3 lanes after they turned to be in the lane closest to us. Nor did the MM have to glance over onto the street as he was making the turn. But we met, and it doesn’t make sense.

Now, you can say that those were two different events happening in two very different sets of lives that happened to align at the same moment. Or, you can say that they lined up because they were supposed to happen and we were supposed to meet at that exact moment.

What did I learn from that? Next time, get on the damn train when you’re supposed to.

Who Said It Part 4

Another installment of quotes from my life. If you said it, you know who you are. If you're guessing out loud who it could be, you're probably right.

Here we go......

I need to get an eyebrow pencil. I kissed someone hello and she must have taken my eyebrow with her…I’ve never lost an eyebrow before…

Person 1: it took me a while to rip that
Person 2: that’s what he said

In the middle of a conversation someone said this:
You need to have a water balloon fight in your apartment.
(Crickets were heard right after that)

Person 1: you put them on before you put pants on.
Person 2: oh, I just usually grease it before I put pants on

I didn’t know I was supposed to guard your cherry!!

Stop being weird. I can’t handle it!

Person 1: can you tie it with your mouth?
Person 2: no. But I can fit a lot of them in my mouth

Person 1: I like touching things
Person 2: especially yourself
Person 1: well, if no one else will…

A Regret And An Observation

A few weeks ago I went on a trip to visit a few colleges upstate with some of our students. I’ve never dormed on a campus before. It made me realize that maybe I missed something by not doing that. I was busy working and going to school and not really having a plan. I didn’t want to socialize. I was kind of uptight back then. There would’ve been no way I was going to share a tiny room with another person and a bathroom down the hall with 30 people. No thanks. I barely got through having to share a bathroom with 4 other people my whole life.

But I do wish that someone would’ve told me back then that I should go away for college. It is something I regret. Anyway, on my 3 days of traveling, I made some observations.

- College boys are cute (yes, I realized I’m too old for them now but that doesn’t change how adorable they are)
- Apparently college equals not having to fix your hair before you leave your room
- Sweatpants is accepted public attire (you would never catch me in sweatpants outside my room. Ever. )
- For as much walking as you have to do on campus, there is an astounding lack of physical fitness among the college population
- I probably would've ended up on girls gone wild spring break edition. Truth.