Follow The Yellow Brick Road To Your Emerald City

Sometimes I journey days, weeks, on rare occasion, a month to get to my Emerald City. It’s the destination that houses the thought and belief that everything will be ok. You know that once you get there, you’ll be surrounded by friends, new and old, and live music and good food and liquor. It’s always good times at the Pig on 2nd. There are 4 different locations in Manhattan. I’ve been to 3 out of 4. None compare to the one on 2nd Ave. There are so many good memories that exist because of that place. We’ve met people from all over the world, some we still talk to, some we only had one encounter with. There are pictures of us somewhere in Ireland owned by an elderly trio (one of which was an 85 year old man I dubbed Sassy Sally—we made his first visit to the states the highlight of his life).

I even have an adopted child who lives in the bar (the polar bear in some of my pictures on facebook), and who sits in my lap most times that I’m at the bar. Not the best way to meet men, I know, but it doesn’t really matter because I have everything I need when I get there. There was a time when ASK’s (that’s the kids name) real mother came into the bar while he was in my lap. I had to do a quick under the counter pass to his father in order to avoid conflict with his ex-wife. No one likes having someone else raise their children when they aren’t there:-)

There was also the time Mad M. drank a whole bottle of wine by herself, knocked her head on a surfboard on the wall, and sang Sweet Caroline at the top of her lungs (mostly without any of the correct words) before passing out on a bench at Cypress Avenue at 2am. These memories exist because of that place. I like that.

It’s so nice to have one place where I know there’s no drama at---as long as I check the calendar of events :-P--and I don’t want anything to taint that. It helps that there are bartenders who have very adorable Irish accents. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a sucker for an accent. And as much as I would love to jump all over those boys, I don’t because of one thing: I don’t want to lose my happy place. Yes, I know that somewhere on this island there exists another Pig n’ Whistle-esque establishment but I don’t want another one. I like this one right now. It’s like home. And maybe one day, we will have to part ways, but for now, I like knowing that I can go home every once in a while.

We Are The Music Makers And The Dreamers Of Dreams

We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems. ----Arthur O’Shaughnessy (1874)

I first came across this work while I was on the toilet of Hunter College. I kid you not. Someone wrote the first 2 lines on the bathroom stall. It initiated a whole conversation with other students. I took a picture of it. I think it's on my facebook mobile uploads. I'm not sure how I found this poem. I probably just stumble across it. Here I was thinking this student was a genius with the profound thought that "we are the music makers and we are the dreamer of dreams". They get credit for passing that along, nonetheless. It is true. We dream the dreams and we make the music. WE are what makes the world, and our own world, exist. By creating, by thinking. Once we cease to do that, we have nothing.
Now, putting it out for all to see, is the hard part. You can think and create all you want but if no one sees it, then is it worth it?
You have to get it out there--like Arthur and the Hunter student. I would've never known this poem existed if it wasn't for the someone who put it out there.

What are you waiting for?

The Great Manflop Debate.

Manflops. The jury is torn over this debate. Some girls hate them and others don’t mind. I fall into the latter. There are bigger offenses men commit than the man-flop. Unless you have decent looking feet, most chicks do not dig man-dals or man-flops. Man snagglefoot is not pleasant. Actually, any snagglefoot is not pleasant and if you are the fine owner of a pair, you better tip your pedicurist extra. Just sayin'...
BUT, ladies, are sneakers with black socks pulled up the leg while wearing shorts better? I’m not sure which makes them look like bigger momos. I think I’ll stick to my man-flops….my men usually flop anyway :-)

Who Said It....Part 2

Here’s the second installment of “Who Said It!” A list of quotes collected from myself and the people around me. Upon reviewing them, I realize that most are dirty. That’s mainly my fault. I can’t help it. If you made it on the list---congratulations! Not just anyone makes it onto the list. Obviously, most of the statements come attached with a sarcastic, dry, deadpan tone. Without it, it’s just ludicrous, completely inappropriate and probably offensive. ENJOY!


Person 1: Look how it’s dripping!
Person 2: That’s what she said.

Can you pull out please?

Their songs are like mold—you know, they grow on you.

What else is coming through my rape tunnel?!

Greek women are the best lovers. And after they’re finished with you, they own you.

Is it raining or am I the only one who’s wet?

I’m gonna have to move on before we meet again....

Person 1: Huh? I’m sorry, did you just say that you like to eat assholes?
Person 2: Yeah...Assholes are like my 3rd favorite thing to eat.

Person 1: High and dry. Is that a saying?
Person 2: Isn’t it high and dry and not drunk?

Person 1: The weed is fucking my brain right now.
Person 2: Um, do you like it? Are you turned on?
Person 1: Yeah, I want to fuck it’s little plant ass.

Person 1: I feel like I’m in the 7th grade again?
Person 2: You had that many balls in your face in 7th grade?
Person 1: yeah.

I wish I could be in the car while I’m driving (said by the person operating the vehicle)

Person 1: We’re not friends anymore. Go find some new ones.
Person 2: I can’t believe you’re mad at me cuz I said you’re NOT a whore!!
Person 1: (pouting) I AM a whore!

May I trifle with your cylinder?

I’m the instrument of Satan. I;m pretty sure someone just recently said that about me.

Person 1: Did you have sex with him?
Person 2: Who the hell is Matthew?!
Person 1: Who’s Matthew? I said ‘Did you have sex with him?’….but yeah, who the fuck IS Matthew?!

You know what your shirt is made of? Paper. And goats.

Person 1: Is there a 7:30 showing of Iron Man?
Ticket seller: Yeah.
Person 1: (looking at friend with a confused/scared look on face) Um…..can we have tickets for that?

It’s hot and it spewed all over my face.
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I believe that last quote is a good way to end this....enjoy the rest of your Wednesday, chickens!

I Don't Like To Share

We all have that person (sometimes persons) who we're really attached to. As a friend, as someone we care about, sometimes we see them romantically, sometimes not. It's that person we're very protective of, or better yet, possessive of. We consider them all our own and if anyone comes to threaten that by taking away their attention or presence we get upset. Maybe even jealous. It's someone we don't necessarily want to "be with" but we want to possess. We don't want them, but we don't want anyone else to have them.
Maybe there is an underlying attraction to this person that is unrecognized. If there wasn't, then we wouldn't feel so possessive and jealous when someone else steps in to threaten the relationship. I know someone who gets really possessive of me when I don't pay him enough attention. We're friends. Nothing more. But there is a change in his behavior towards me. He gets distant and snappy because his feelings are hurt. Whether or not he has any right to be is not the issue. It's just a feeling, and with most feelings, they cannot be controlled. They merely exist. The problem is that he doesn't want me but he doesn't want anyone else to have me either. Which is unfair for everyone involved.
I have a person or two that I'm really protective of. Who I feel I want to shelter from the possibility of having someone else get all their attention. We do that when people get new boyfriends/girlfriends. Sometimes we become jealous of the new person because we feel threatened.
Even though it's hard to tell why exactly we feel this way, we have to at least try to identify the reasoning behind it. Maybe it's because we're subconsciously trying to trick ourselves into believing that we only see the person as playing one role in our lives, when in fact, our brain is trying to tell us something different from the deep, dark depths of our head. I don't have this answer, and I wish I could control some of the feelings I have because sometimes, with the less than pleasant feelings, it just creates a giant circle that you have to travel on to absolutely no where. I'm tired of going no where. I need someone to give me some answers.

New Place, New Life, New Start

Last night was officially my first night in the new apartment. It's weird to have all your stuff in a new place. It took a while for me to believe that I lived here. The first day I just kind of walked around the apartment and took it all in. It's a pretty sweet place and we got pretty lucky that we found it for that price in Manhattan. We both have never had to live with someone else or had the dorm experience so it should be interesting.
For the first few days I was sleeping on the couch since none of my furniture was here. I've been away from all my things and have hardly had a chance to sit down. It's been nice not to be able to sit at the computer all night doing things that, in essence, are a giant misuse of time. That means, minimal facebooking, youtubing, blogging, googling, movie watching. I did realize though just how much we rely on technology. We don't have Internet yet and the unsecured connection in the area is pretty unreliable. It's so frustrating not having the ability to look something up instantly. We're so used to instant. It's horrible. I have pictures to upload, reservations to make, and things to research and I can't get on the damn world wide web. I'm typing this on my blackberry---it's no fun. This did give me the opportunity to finally get serious about learning to play the piano since my keyboard was the only thing that was here. In 4 days I've made some real progress and I'm almost sorry that we're officially going to have internet and tv as of Tuesday.
I am excited about the new start. Hopefully I successfully got rid of all things that were bad for me and now I can start over. But, who knows with me. I have a bad habit of being attracted to those things that aren't good for me and bad things have a way of finding me.
Let the adventure begin...

Life Imitating....Entourage??

So I finally decided to check out what the fuss is about Entourage. I'm starting with season 1. I can see why guys like this---they want to be those boys. Boys who came from Queens who are living it up in LalaLand--going to parties, having sex with beautiful women,living in a big house, acting like 12 year olds whose parents left them home alone for the weekend. If our boy's minds weren't already warped by video games and tv and porn, this wouldn't be so bad. Except they now all believe they can be like the guys from Entourage and learn that it's OK to act like douche bags as long as you have your best buddies there to support you along the way.

It does for males what Sex And The City does for females. Except, those girls weren't screwing men over, they were getting screwed by them. SATC made girls want to dress like Carrie and live a fairytale life on Park Avenue like Charlotte and be as scandalous as Samantha. I think the two shows should have merged and had a special. Carrie could've dated Vince, Samantha could've had sex with Turtle and it would all be more realistic than those shows are on their own. Human beings are dramatic. Life is dramatic. And it's ironic that to escape our own dramatic lives we choose to watch others live their outrageous lives in order to make us feel better about our own situation. But in the process of merely being a spectator, we learn about situations and events and actions that probably should not take place in the real world and inadvertently partake in them in our own lives.

Are we born drawn to the dramatic or do we learn it from observing others throughout our lives? That's like a 'what came first' kind of question. I don't know the answer. But I do know that we complain about how much we hate the 'drama' and yet put ourselves in these dramatic situations anyway. I guess we have to take it for what it is and accept that we cannot outrun it but we can TRY to refrain from making events in our lives soap opera-esque. Easier said than done.

Are You A Face Whore?

Does anyone celebrate real friendship anymore?! With the use of facebook, myspace, youtube, blogs, etc., you get the ability to accept/deny/ follow/subscribe to/ join people all over the world. That means being "friends" with people you've never met, met once, know through a friend of a friend who slept with a friend. What the hell is that all about?! I may be old school but, correct me if I'm wrong, I don't want strangers looking at my drunk pictures or, even worse, video of me singing in public at 2am. I become friends with people I actually want to talk to. Whether I see them frequently or they physically materialize in front of me only around the holidays.

I cannot understand the people who have friends just so they can get the numbers. There is absolutely no way that you know the birthdays of all 846 "friends" you have on facebook or even have knowledge of their full names. There's no point in fake friending. No one thinks you're cooler because you have all those friends and no one really cares. Because the people you are actually friends with have to begin to wonder "if you friended me in the same facebook session that you friended those 2 momos you only met once who you're not really friends with, that must mean that WE aren't really friends because you don't value friendship at all".

It's all very complicated and fucked up and horrible. I think I was born in the wrong century. Although I do love the convenience that technology affords me, we've lost contact with the real world and real interactions. I think we can only go downhill from here.