Who Said It....Part 2

Here’s the second installment of “Who Said It!” A list of quotes collected from myself and the people around me. Upon reviewing them, I realize that most are dirty. That’s mainly my fault. I can’t help it. If you made it on the list---congratulations! Not just anyone makes it onto the list. Obviously, most of the statements come attached with a sarcastic, dry, deadpan tone. Without it, it’s just ludicrous, completely inappropriate and probably offensive. ENJOY!


Person 1: Look how it’s dripping!
Person 2: That’s what she said.

Can you pull out please?

Their songs are like mold—you know, they grow on you.

What else is coming through my rape tunnel?!

Greek women are the best lovers. And after they’re finished with you, they own you.

Is it raining or am I the only one who’s wet?

I’m gonna have to move on before we meet again....

Person 1: Huh? I’m sorry, did you just say that you like to eat assholes?
Person 2: Yeah...Assholes are like my 3rd favorite thing to eat.

Person 1: High and dry. Is that a saying?
Person 2: Isn’t it high and dry and not drunk?

Person 1: The weed is fucking my brain right now.
Person 2: Um, do you like it? Are you turned on?
Person 1: Yeah, I want to fuck it’s little plant ass.

Person 1: I feel like I’m in the 7th grade again?
Person 2: You had that many balls in your face in 7th grade?
Person 1: yeah.

I wish I could be in the car while I’m driving (said by the person operating the vehicle)

Person 1: We’re not friends anymore. Go find some new ones.
Person 2: I can’t believe you’re mad at me cuz I said you’re NOT a whore!!
Person 1: (pouting) I AM a whore!

May I trifle with your cylinder?

I’m the instrument of Satan. I;m pretty sure someone just recently said that about me.

Person 1: Did you have sex with him?
Person 2: Who the hell is Matthew?!
Person 1: Who’s Matthew? I said ‘Did you have sex with him?’….but yeah, who the fuck IS Matthew?!

You know what your shirt is made of? Paper. And goats.

Person 1: Is there a 7:30 showing of Iron Man?
Ticket seller: Yeah.
Person 1: (looking at friend with a confused/scared look on face) Um…..can we have tickets for that?

It’s hot and it spewed all over my face.
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I believe that last quote is a good way to end this....enjoy the rest of your Wednesday, chickens!