Who Said It Part 3!!!!!!!!!!

The third installment of Who Said It!!! Where we document the ridiculous, the profound, and the inappropriate.

Person 1: Lady bugs. They eat aphids.
Person 2: What? They eat atheists?!

Person 1: Watch! There are balls on your back!
Person 2: Ugh, I don’t like balls on my back!

Random person in park to picnic group: Is anyone Jewish?
Person 2: No….sorry?

Person 1: That’s the Eye of Horus.
Person 2: Why did you get that? Cuz you’re a whore-us?

Person 1: Can you put your thing in?
Person 2: I will NOT have sex with women!!!!

I’m from the southern Baptist church of CRAZY!!!

I bring something to the relationship…I bring….THIS (‘this’ being said while the person glides their own hands down their body)

Where did she find him? On iwannalosemylicense.net?

Is it fleet week or is there just seamen all over the streets?

You kinda had to be there as we were chiseling at her vagina.

Hot. I want THAT jiggle all over me.

I told this teacher we should touch the kids…and rub honey on them!

Person 1: you know, the kid who was in the coma.
Person 2: he still had an erection though….whoa! That was wrong. Even for me!

I want you to draw with your nipples.

It’s like we’re walking through the raindrops…you know, dodging them.

Person 1: I don’t wanna go up there! (pointing to the steep trail on a mountain)
Person 2: yes you do. If you want to leave…and live.

That’s why I don’t have a lot of friends…I’m always afraid I’ll eat them.

Ever stare into the darkness of your life and wonder what could be?

Sometimes I wanna stab you in the eye with a straw.

You blow myself away!

I’m kind of a big deal. If you google me, there’s shit there.

Seriously…it’s not that serious.

Cuz your legs are always open!! (look of horror upon their face) Excuse me, I’m drunk.

Look, that’s what you need (pointing to a lady holding planks of wood) wood.

My mom has been trying to lip kiss me…and she finally got me the other day!

Person 1: Why do you want to marry me? I’m crazy!
Person 2: Don’t question it.

Person 1: The first thing I’m gonna do when I get settled is take a bubble bath and take pictures of myself…with a bottle of Jameson!
Person 2: You’re just class, class, class all the way.
Person 1: Yeah, I know…..how come no one wants to date me?!

Person 1: what is this band? Everything but the goose?
Person 2: um, Minus The Bear….but close.

Person 1: you suck.
Person 2: yeah, you’d think I’d get paid for sucking so much.

You don’t like when it squirts in your mouth when you bite it?

Stay tuned for installment 4…..