BABIES!!!

I was going through my notebook and I found this:

At the end of August, I went to Pennsylvania to visit my godson and his new baby brother. I spent a few days surrounded by babies and dogs from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to sleep. I’ve always loved babies—who the hell doesn’t love babies?! Our next door neighbor had a 1 year old grandson who I used to go play with. My sister and I were around 8 and 6. Instead of playing tag or playing with barbies or fighting, we were going next door and entertaining a toddler. When I was 10 years old, my brother was born. I loved taking care of him. I was his second mother. He was our little doll we could throw around. I was always the little mommy…I still am. I always make sure everyone gets home okay and that no one’s falling down drunk or doing things they’ll regret in the morning….it’s exhausting. But I love it.
Anyway, so I was surrounded by babies for a few days and decided to make a pro/con list for babies. This is what I came up with:

PRO
 they’re simple. They want to be clean, fed, clothed, and paid some attention to.
 They’re constantly learning. The ability to shape these little beings into functioning members of society has to be the best challenge of a person’s life. The most difficult, but rewarding nonetheless.
 They’re funny. They do the funniest things without even trying. They have no agenda. They just exist.
 Having a baby fall asleep on your shoulder is one of the best things ever—I literally could sit there all day like that.
 Even better….witnessing a baby laugh in their sleep while in your arms—magical
 They love you without any judgment
 Their smell

CON
 You are never alone. Ever. Again.
 Your plans revolve around the routine of a little slobbering alien. Forever.
 Tantrums.
 The cost of diapers, formula, extra food, toys, clothes, shoes, etc….
 Having to hold a screaming baby in your arms for 45 minutes and not being able to console them because they’re getting new teeth is the worst thing in the world—mostly because it’s not their fault and you can’t do anything to alleviate their pain
 Crumbs, food, toy pieces in every crevice and on every floor
 Their smell…..when they poop or spit up.

Even though I’ve welcomed the thought of having a baby for most of my life, I don’t think I want one right this second. I’m not fully shaped and developed into the best person I could be and it’s unfair to bring someone into this world when you couldn’t possibly give them your full attention and focus. How can you expect to create an exceptional human being when you, yourself, are not the best person you could be?

I like staying up all night, waking when I want, not having to cook all day, and not have to take care of someone else. The day is coming when I’ll be ready, but it’s not anytime in the near future.