I Was Such A Weird Child...

I was thinking recently of the weird things I used to be obsessed with as a kid. It was nice to reminisce and I miss those things. Being an adult sucks. There isn't time to think about fun things or be obsessed with the silly ones. We have to worry about bills and work and how tired we are from life. Then there's the whole technology vortex thing. We didn't have those distractions as kids. We liked what we liked, regardless of if anyone else agreed with us or how different it made us. I've had some random obsessions over the years. I'm surprised I actually had friends at all. How did my family put up with it? So, here are some things I can actually remember. I've noticed that I've actually forgotten some until the memory is triggered by something. So, here we go....

1. Egypt. I don't know why. Since I was young, I loved everything about it. I would read books and watch movies and go to the museum over and over again. There was this excavation kit that I bought once. It was a massive clay rock thing that you had to chisel away and uncover artifacts from. I still have them. It was the most fun I've ever had and I always look for it when I'm in a toy store or a museum gift shop. I would happily excavate it again. I also used to play this online Ancient Egyptian game called Senet. I think I found it on the CDRom Encyclopedia my aunt had. I used to play it for hours when I was at her house. I miss that too.

2. The Encyclopedia. There was a set at my grandmothers house from the 1970's. I used to pick a letter and rifle through the book trying to learn different random things. I loved looking at the pages of Flags from around the World. We inherited that set which brought my obsession closer to home. I read it. The whole thing. I wish I had a set now, I would read it all the time. I love the encyclopedia. And don't try to turn me onto that online crap. Book form all the way.

3. Rocks. I had totally forgotten about this one until I went to the Natural History Museum in London. There was one room with rows and rows of rocks. I was instantly transported to a time when I would just look at my stones and try to name them. I would collect rocks that were different. Sometimes ugly, sometimes beautiful. Maybe it was the fact that no two are exactly the same that drew me in. Maybe it was the fact that some can only be found in one specific location in the world or that some take great effort to uncover. I collect seashells now. From every beach I go to. I have shells from Santa Cruz, CA, Tybee Island, GA, Venice Beach, CA, Norwalk, CT and some from around New York. It's something I do. Just embrace it.


4. Birthdays. I'm not sure if it's the birth dates that I'm obsessed about or the numbers. I used to make LISTS of people birthdays trying to find trends and similarities and patterns. Like, do two people who share the same birthday also share similar personality traits? It was bizarre. But it's what I did. I knew every one's birthday and got really excited when I found that more than 1 person had the same day. Now, I have facebook to notify me when it's someones birthday. I can't remember a single day. I'm surprised I know my own...

5. Books. That's ones still going strong. I feel like I read more than most kids. I love books. The way they smell, the way they feel. My dad had a pretty big book collection. I used to flip through them all the time. I remember reading about Alexander the Great and different artists and Birds from different regions of the United States. I've acquired my own collection now. Of which I've carried from place to place over the years, stubbornly refusing to get rid of any. I would gladly throw out shoes and clothes before I got rid of a book. And the ones I have gotten rid of, I usually regret. I sold my textbook for the Brain and Behavior class I had cuz I needed money. I've regretted it ever since. I've wanted to look up things all the time and then realize, oh yeah dummy you got rid of it. And believe me, I've looked for it on line. It's no where. It was such a good book....

6. Maps. This goes hand in hand with my obsession of the world and other countries. I don't know where I got that from. No one in my family cares about the rest of the world. I think it's fascinating though. I love learning about different cultures and people. I decided from young that I was going to be exposed to as many languages as I could. 5 so far. I collect maps. Road maps, country maps, world maps. I love maps. That's probably why I love playing Risk so much (even though I can only find someone to play with me once a decade). I keep a map on my wall and mark all the places I've been. I love the satisfaction of putting a pushpin on places. Maps make me happy.

7. Foreign Money. Again, this goes with my 'I love the world so much' obsession. I'm not sure how it started but I have a collection of money from all over the world. I'm also not sure where and how I've acquired all of it, but I have it. I guess I figured if I couldn't go to all these places, I could at least have a little piece of all the countries. Here's my riches:

England: 16.35
Canada: 35.43
Euros: 5.05
Greek Drachmas:203
Israel: .10
Dominican Republic: .80
India: .25
Mexico: 3.10
Germany: .60
Nicaragua: 1.00
Panama: .05
Philapines: 2.00
Uruguay: 5.00
France: 2.00
Australia: .11
Ecuador: .25
Bermuda:.25
Bahamas: .01


I also have a 100 coin of something in some unidentifiable Asian money as well as 3 coins that I cannot identify for the life of me. I am also pretty sure that in one of these countries, I am a millionaire....

Cooking Makes Me Happy

I love cooking. It's one of my favorite things to do. I find it relaxing and productive and satisfying. When everything goes right and the end result looks amazing on the plate, that's a big win. It actually makes me happy. Being in the kitchen makes me happy. And if you leave me there all day, that's probably the best and smartest thing you could do. Feminists killed that dream for me. Bitches. What's so wrong with being at home cooking and cleaning??

I have memories of being in the kitchen with my mom when I was young as we made bagels and bread and cookies. It was just something that always came naturally. I probably started using the oven on my own when I was about 10 years old when I bought a kids cookbook on a school trip (which I still have) and went to town with it.
Some people find being in the kitchen difficult and chaotic. I have no idea what they're talking about. It's all about timing and organization and being able to multitask. When people say "ugh! I've been in the kitchen ALL day!" I have no idea what they're talking about there either. What the hell is taking them so long? It's a process and once you find your groove, it should be easy. Anyone can follow a recipe but it's the execution and effort put into it that makes it good. You have to be able to think on your feet and substitute if, and when, needed. This is gonna sound ridiculous but you have to be able to understand the food. I feel like it's just something you know. I've always known just what to do.
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I love kitchen gadgets. When I walk into the kitchen section of Bed Bath and Beyond or Macys, I get so excited. I love shiny new pots and choppers and strainers and bowls. I love everything about it. I'm smiling now while just writing about it. I may have had a gadgetgasm. Sorry. Also, feeding people makes me happy. Hearing someone say "wow, this is so good!" makes me happy. It must be the Mediterranean in me. We feed people. It's what we do.

I'm even contemplating taking a cooking class at some point. In my free time I guess. Just to learn some new things. It would be nice to cater or open a restaurant but I think it would kill my love for it if I had someone giving me deadlines. And that being said, I would prefer if this love did not die.

This Baggage Is Heavy...

While waiting for my flight in Heathrow Airport, I heard an announcement about 20 times. After about the 12th time, I realized that there was a subliminal message within that message. Yes, the man was talking about luggage but after thinking for a while I realized that he could've also been talking about peoples 'baggage'. Cuz we lug that shit around all the time. Some of us have a carry on and some of us have 3 trunks full.

The man said the following:
"This is a reminder for all persons not to leave their baggage unattended. Do not accept or carry baggage belonging to any other person. If you see unattended baggage do not pick it up. Tell the nearest security officer."


We often end up carrying little pieces of other people's baggage. They don't mean to give it to us and we definitely don't want to accept it but is a transference that comes with social interactions.
Can you imagine if we could stop an officer and tell them this:
"Officer, this man has baggage. And he tried handing it to me! Please arrest him immediately. A few of his ex girlfriends may be in there. As well as his mother."

If we could only do that in real life…we all carry around baggage we just don’t know what kind of skeletons are in other peoples suitcases of crazy until it's too late.

Time To Move On....

I'm moving in 2 weeks. And with much sadness, I'm moving back to the Bronx. I'm definitely going to miss the convenience of the city but I could not justify spending 60% of my monthly paycheck on rent and living in a closet. So, back to the Boogie Down. There are some things I will miss and some things I won't. Oh, wait. That sounds like a good time for a list....

THINGS I WILL MISS
1. My balcony and my washer dryer that was IN my apartment
2. The gym in the building(even though it wasn't utilized as much I would've liked)
3. The travel convenience. If I needed to get to Astoria, Long Island or Jersey I could in under an hour. Now I have to tag on an extra 40 minutes in travel...ugh
4. The M15 bus. I love that bus.
5. The option to stay out past midnight on a weeknight, take a cab home and be there in less than 15 minutes
6. The view

THINGS I WONT MISS
1. Creepy doormen
2. Being woke up at 2am by a group of 20 kids yelling outside my building that they're 'going to fight' but are too pussy to actually do it
3. Being woken up by having to buzz someone in who forgot their keys, by doors slamming, by tv's blaring
4. Random people sleeping in my apartment
5. Dirty streets
6. cleaning up messes made by other people
7. The leaky ceiling


THINGS I AM EXCITED FOR IN MY NEW PLACE
1. quiet
2. My backyard....housewarming barbecue! Get ready for it. I also plan on planting vegetables and herbs
3. A 15 minute walk to work
4. Better produce at supermarkets
5. Getting to buy new things! Like a tv and bed! woohoo!!!

The Nerve Of Some People

So, I just had a moment and I need to get it out. I'm appalled at the nerve of some people. I'm actually kind of in shock and it didn't even happen to me. I used to watch LA Ink all the time. It was entertaining and I was kind of captivated by Kat von D. Well, no freaking more!!

I just DVR'd the new season of LA Ink and found her FLAUNTING her relationship with Jesse James. If you don't know who Jesse James is, here's a little rundown: He was married to the amazing Sandra Bullock and last year CHEATED on her with NUMEROUS disgustingly tattooed porn stars. WHAT?! You ruined a marriage with Sandra Bullock who is pretty much the coolest woman around....there's something wrong with you. First of all, Sandra should've known what was going to happen by just reviewing his trailer park trash past. Second of all, Sandra was famous for always saying that she was never getting married and then chooses THAT guy. We can't totally blame her. We all do things we know deep down inside aren't good for us. What's done is done though. She kept it classy and barely said anything about the situation and never trashed him.

As a thanks, Jesse James starts hooking up with Kat von D. and ends up asking her to marry him....does this man never learn?! So the first episode of the season was her talking about him and how in love they are and about their engagement. I felt like I was punched in the stomach watching this so I can't imagine what Sandra Bullock feels. Even if it's in the past and you say you're over it, no one ever wants to see their ex who broke their heart with another woman. Thankfully us normal people just have to go through the occasional run in and not have to see this new relationship in every magazine at the check out and all over the tv. It's horrible. The audacity. And you know, if Sandra isn't actually watching it, she's hearing about it or thinking about it. It's horrible.

Well, what goes around comes around. A couple weeks ago they announced that the wedding was off. Karma.


Jerk Face


Double Jerk Face

Here Are Some Things That Annoy Me...

In the last couple of weeks I've discovered some things that annoy me. Here are some:

1. Friend whores. Those are people who friend EVERYONE they meet. You met a friend of a friend once. You may or may not meet again. There is no need to friend them as soon as you get home. You are not friends. Do you really need to validate the state of your being and existence by moving from 478 friend to 479? That's another thing, people with a shit ton of "friends" on FB bother me. There's no way you ACTUALLY know all 850 people. I think over 225 is way too much. If you look at your friend list, there's about 25% you can defriend and they wouldn't know or care cuz you never actually have a chat or a comment or a like. Do it now. Go through the list. Seriously.

2. This isn't so much a thing that annoys me, but a thing that scares me. People who read the Bible on the train. Especially young people. It's so weird. Not my first reading choice. Those people creep me out.

3. Bike riding Brooklynites also give me goosebumps.

4. Bad parents. Don’t have kids if you're not going to take it seriously. Do everyone a favor. Raising and shaping human beings is a big job and if you're a hot mess, please don’t sign up for it.

5. People who invade your personal space on the train. Some lady sitting next to me in a 2 seater felt the need to sit diagonally with her crossed leg in front of me. Excuse me but this is my space, asshole. I wanted to ask if she would’ve like to sit ON my lap. I didn’t though because, unfortunately, my threshold for tolerating things I shouldn't is very high(have u been following my life?!)

6. People who have whole album of pictures on FB that they take of themselves. When the pics of you are only you taken by you we should be worried. I've learned over the years from experience that if someone rarely appears in pictures with other people there's a reason for other people not to be there. There is also something fishy about people who don't have ANY pictures of themselves. If their profile picture is of the sky or a frog or a sports team, I'd beware. Either they think themselves too ugly to photograph or they're running from the law and don't want the FBI to know what they look like. And in that case, they should probably deactivate their SOCIAL NETWORKING page. Just saying.

And lastly...

7. People who complain about it being 100 degrees for a couple of days in the SUMMER. Yeah, I'm sure that's supposed to happen, idiot. That's why we have seasons. They are also the same people who complain when it is 15 degrees in January. Are you ever happy?? You can't have it both ways. Move somewhere else. Do I like sweating standing still? No. But, I can deal with it for a couple of days a few times a year. A little sweat never killed anyone. I can't stand the people who act like they're being tortured. Before air conditioners, people sweated a bit. And smelled worse. And died from heat stroke. Be thankful that you can enter any store or train or bus and get cooled down.

That's all folks....until next time.