Defriending...bleh.

I've written about this before. Facebook Defriending. It's rude. For those of us who are not Facewhores, we don't have 679 friends, we are selective with who we friend. I happen to know everyone I'm friends with, and I happen to know how I know them as well. So, therefore we know if you defriend us. We've all been there. I know you've done it, you've looked when that number of friends fluctuates. You're like, "oh my god. 181? It was 182 yesterday! Who defriended me?!" Then eventually you figure it out. It's like someone punching you in the heart. It hurts. "why would they defriend me? I wasn't bothering them out there in cyberspace? Did I do something? Are they mad at me? Should I say something?....it's a horrible and unnecessary cause for alarm.

It's a cop out though. Cuz no one would EVER have the balls to say to someone's face "I officially defriend you as of right now", but since we can do it from the safety of our homes we do it frivolously. I've done 3 defriendings in my life. And I almost cried while pushing the button (they were necessary defriendtions...sadly). It's so rude, it hurts my heart. And there may be some people I shouldn't be friends with, but I'm not putting that shit out in the world to come back to me. I don't like it done to me, so I'm not gonna do it to someone else (even if they won't even notice I'm gone anyway).


So please, choose who you friend wisely. Cuz it hurts my heart. And I can't take anymore heartache....

Friends, Lovers or Nothing

John Mayer flowed into my ears this weekend while riding the Metro North home. "Friends, lovers or nothing/There'll never be an in-between/so give it up" sings Mayer. And he got me thinking (there's not much else to do on the Metro). Now, he doesn't usually say many intelligent things but in this case he actually has a point. Those are the choices. There's no in between. That's the way things should be: it's yes or no, black or white, now or later. But,unfortunately we live in a society that likes to blur lines with people who like to cross and recross those lines on a daily basis. Our impulsively and technology's over visual stimulation is to blame. We can't just focus on one thing and be satisfied with our choice. We want it all.

It doesn't work like that though. Or, it shouldn't work like that. And for once, I'm with Mayer. I personally know too many cases where people are "friends" and "lovers" and "everything" and "nothing". There's even movies about the topic for gods sake. And case after case and film after film solidify the fact that you can't be both. You are either friends OR you're lovers. You can't go around saying "oh, me and mike? Yeah we're just frovers". There's no such thing. Everyone has a role and title. My friends, whether the same sex or of the opposite, have not seen my pikachu. They wouldn't be friends then. They would be something else.

I repeat: we are not friends any longer once you see my kouka. And I know, it's very hard not to be tempted by having someone else bake your cake, to eat a slice and then to pack the rest up and bring it home, but it never works out in the end. It just ends up being more work. So, I implore my fellow cohabitants of this Earth to pick a choice and stick with it. You're confusing yourselves and you're confusing others. And confusion then leads to talking and I know how much people(men) hate talking about blurred lines, feelings, and confusing scenarios...