You Gotta Have A Plan...For The Zombies

Zombie Apocalyse. It's happening. One of these days. But when it does, I'll be prepared. I have a plan or at least a basis for a plan. I mean, how well can you plan for the unexpected. We don't know how or when it's going to begin. Will it begin in Asia? In America? In NY? In Florida? We don't know but we should have a plan!

There are the facts:

1. You get as far away from densely populated areas as fast as you can. 8.2 million people in NYC. 8.2 million ways to get dead.

2. You gather a group of useful and able people. Defending yourself, hunting, cooking, carrying equipment is a lot of work for one person. You should probably make a group on your phone so you can speed dial them when the outbreak occurs
a. these are the following people/professions that should tag along:
- doctor
- cop
- construction worker
- a fast runner
- people that don't frazzle easily
- someone who owns a cabin, farmhouse, or lakehouse in the countryside.
Preferably with lots of land, a fence, on high ground.
(this is optional. We could always just take it from someone)
- someone slow or physically disabled. For bait. (don't judge me.)

3. You gather supplies. Not 3 months from now when the world is in shambles and the undead are running around and the unaffected are killing each other because our civilzation doesn't know how to handle ourselves in a crisis. Right NOW! I never understand why the people in these zombie movies and shows wait until the last minute to start moving. The SECOND I catch wind of an outbreak, I'm out of here! I'm going to the grocery store, the bank (to take out all my money--zombie bank tellers are no help when you want to make a withdrawl), Home Depot, a place that sells weapons, and Target. There is no, "lets wait a while and see if it goes away". pfft, people.

4. There is a clear understanding that there are no emotional attachements to anyone. If you're coming with me, you better know that if you are bit, scratched, or get some zombie juice in your eye, I will kill you. Even if you are my sister. You're putting the group in danger. Go quietly to the light. I'm sure we'll meet you there soon enough


I think about what would happen in a disaster a lot. Not just zombies, but tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes, etc.. I love watching disaster movies because it makes me realize that I don't know how to do anything. We're so sheltered as a civilization, in the cities especially. These are the following things I plan to do in the next year so that I am better prepared for life:

1. learn how to shoot a gun properly. All guns.

2. learn to shoot a bow and arrow (silent zombie killers. Gunshots=only last resort)

3. learn to fight. Hand to hand combat. If anyone knows of an underground fight club please let me know. I figure you have to be in it to learn properly.

4. learn how to build a fire


Be prepared, stay alive.
And to those of you who have made the cut for my group, you will be contacted soon to work out the details.