There's No Place Like Home...I Think

It's 4am and I am currently sitting on my tiny island (my bed) waiting to hear the sounds of an unwelcomed mouse (or mice)some where in my wall. This is what has become of my life: waiting for daybreak when it is safe to finally sleep. My house, which used to be my refuge, has now become my nightmare. And if you've ever been alone and had the pleasure of being startled awake by scratching in the wall, you know how I feel. My summer vacation has been wasted by running away from my house to avoid the mice and untanable 79 degree weather.

This is not the first of my house woes nor do I believe it to be my last. I have been cursed with apartment afflictions ever since I moved out of my moms. That's not looking so bad now....

There was the rape tunnel apartment in the side alley of a building. Looking back I wonder why I thought it was a good idea to live there and also, how my mother LET me live there. That lasted 8 months. Mostly because I was terrified that someone was always trying to kill me in my isolated ground floor hovel and partly because a bum moved into the alleyway right outside my door and I feared he would return. I think the mafia took care of that one for me though...

Then there was the major apartment upgrade in Spanish Harlem that seemed too good to be true. Kids, if it seems too good to be true, it most definitely is, so run the other way. Fast. New appliances, balcony, laundry in your apartment, gym in the basement, doorman....Yes doorman, who drunk-dialed me from the lobby one night to profess his love to me. That wasn't even the worst of that place. Leaky ceilings, shady landlord, crazy roommates, and some other shenanigans and memories that will last me a lifetime. I could write a book about that building. We will save it for another time.

Now there's this place. I thought I was away from the craziness and drama. That lasted about 6 months. Aside from the inconsiderate neighbors, who wear heels at 1am and walk like baby dinosaurs, I now have mice in the neighborhood who make a frequent visit to my wall. Tonight, I was also greeted by a very large skunk who had no problem coming right up to my door. The only upside is that little bugger (who I've named Bull) eats mice so that problem will soon be gone. Then, what to do about that skunk...

I can't win. And what I find interesting is that I am so careful when it comes to picking apartments! I look and look and make sure everything's right. And I still get the fuzzy end of the lollipop! I don't know what it is. Hopefully this will be the last one, the third of the triad. Bad things come in threes, right?