Making out in public. Gross. Not just kissing. I mean really sucking face. It’s cool to be so into each other that you’re unable to control your innate carnal urges but, you know what’s not ok—watching two really, really drunk people grope each other, hump each other and lick each others faces while you’re trying to have a drink and a conversation with your friend. It was 9pm on a Wednesday. We sat two seats away from this couple (both unattractive. PDA is really not cool when you have to watch two fuglies. Sorry, but it’s true) who were all over each other. So in the middle of the tongue wrestling, he slurs “you’re the best kisser I’ve ever had”. The person I was with suggested he may have lightly groaned at the end of his statement. Cue throw up in mouth.
Slurring. That’s a way to a girl’s heart. Actually, I guess it goes for both sexes though. Really not attractive. If you ever get to the point that you’re slurring your words, you should probably remove yourself from all present human contact and turn off your cell phone. No one wants to hear a slurrer—on the phone, in person, or otherwise. Anyway, for a man in this state of inebriation it additionally (and usually) is joined by the inability to get the Little Man up once you lovebirds reach the casa. Fail.
In short, unless your goal is to turn me on and have me join you, please refrain from sucking each others tongues while I’m within hearing/seeing range. Thanks.
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