Top 10 worst ways to break up with someone:
10. on their birthday (after you give them the present)
9. in a public place in front of lots of people so the other person doesn’t make a scene and you can escape quickly
8. via text/email/messenger/pigeon/singing telegram
7. write it on a post-it note and leave it on the pillow for them to find when they wake up
6. in front of their family at Thanksgiving dinner/ Christmas dinner/ Easter lunch
5. leave a message with their roommate to tell them since you “conveniently” missed them when you passed by (they have yoga class at 8pm every Tuesday. It was Tuesday)
4. have your/their doorman tell them as they hand the person a box of their stuff
3. the ‘fade out’ (don’t call, always be busy, answer texts with one word—if you answer at all—and hope that they catch on quick that you don’t want to see them anymore)
2. invite them over and have your new girlfriend/boyfriend already there
1. move to another state, disconnect all phones and cancel emails/facebook…without telling them
Fucking people.
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