In light of the new Arnold Schwarzenegger scandal, I decided now was a good time to address cheating. It's the age old story: man cheats on great wife/girlfriend with a major downgrade, man gets caught, hangs his head in shame and states how he feels so very bad. Fuck you.
We hear of celebrities doing it because their lives are public but it happens on a daily basis to normal people all the time. We know why famous people can do it--because they have status and power and money. Soooo, what's John Smith's excuse? Nothing. Its for the same reason--insecurity and ego. Arnold, Tiger Woods, Jude Law(twice), Jesse James, Bill Clinton...all have(had) hot,smart, talented ladies and what do they do??? Oh yeah, they DO the maid, the babysitter, the porn star covered in tattoos. Why?? Because they know that the women they're with are so much better than they are and the male brain hates feeling inferior. So, they find that girl who isn't as beautiful or smart who makes them feel better about themselves because they actually are (for once) better than those downgrades. I mean, you're gonna cheat on Sienna Miller and Sandra Bullock!?! Have you lost your mind, buddy?? Your insecurities are your problem and that doesn't give you the right to hurt the people who, for whatever reason, care about you. Also, if you really want to hurt that person then UPGRADE. Because it feels worse having to say: "oh man! That chick my boyfriend just fucked is way hotter and smarter than me. I feel like a total loser", instead of: "what the hell is wrong with him?? That girl is disgusting. I'm so much better than her and him. What a stupid loser". Now you just made yourself look like an idiot. Dummy.
It's horrible. And they must know that they will get caught. And John Smith knows that at the local bar there's a couple girls who have no problem going home with him at 1am whether or not he has a girlfriend/wife. These guys know that it's easier to buy this chick a couple of drinks to get her to have sex with him instead of having to take that amazing girl he met last week to dinner and the movies a few times before getting in her pants. And that's what I, and girls like me, have to battle on a daily basis. Its hard enough finding 1 or 2 guys who are worthy of our time but then we have to battle those cuntasauri who will sleep with him any time anywhere.
I have enough guy friends and have seen and heard enough to know that there's an abundance of THOSE girls who give the rest of us a bad rep. So when you finally do meet a guy, he's so used to girls like that, that he doesn't know how to properly interact with you. It's so messed up. And I know that not ALL guys are like that but the percentage is creeping up. It's even the guys you never thought could do that who are doing it anyway. And I hate to chalk it up to: it's because he can. But, he can. And unless we get rid of all THOSE whorebags, it's going to continue. But I will not be swayed into becoming one of them. You're going to have to work for this, buddy. And if that's too much work for you, then I don't need you.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Children Are Simple, It's the Adults who Complicate Things
I love children. Mostly because they're so honest and real. They haven't been tainted by life yet. They feel what they feel and love you without any judgement. We used to be like that at some point. It's amazing that even if you don't really know them, kids know right away if they like you and are ready to love you.
I don't nearly see my godson as much as I would like to. And now that he's a bit older, he remembers who I am and there's an attachment of some sort. He barely knows me, but he still likes me. Because kids can't verbally express how they feel, so they feel emotions so much more than we do as adults.
During my impromptu road trip a few weeks ago across Pennsylvania, I was near their town so I decided to pop in and see him before bedtime. We hung out for a bit and then I told him I had to leave and go to bed and so did he. The look on his face almost broke my heart. It didn't occur to him that I would leave again and he was devastated. You could see it in his face as he tried to hold it together. He was upset but just stared straight ahead and didn't say anything as I talked to him. And it didn't dawn on me that he'd be THAT attached considering he only sees me for a couple of days every few months.
They're so grown up sometimes. Like the Little Prince. They seem simple but they're complex little monsters. He then went to the door as I was talking to his mother and stood in front of it without saying a word. I knew what he was trying to say. Cuz that's the nice thing about kids, you can read their emotions on their face. There's no games. But as usual, he'll forget in a little while how upset he was. Cuz we all eventually forget how upset we are about things over time. Until the time comes again when we get upset all over again.
I don't nearly see my godson as much as I would like to. And now that he's a bit older, he remembers who I am and there's an attachment of some sort. He barely knows me, but he still likes me. Because kids can't verbally express how they feel, so they feel emotions so much more than we do as adults.
During my impromptu road trip a few weeks ago across Pennsylvania, I was near their town so I decided to pop in and see him before bedtime. We hung out for a bit and then I told him I had to leave and go to bed and so did he. The look on his face almost broke my heart. It didn't occur to him that I would leave again and he was devastated. You could see it in his face as he tried to hold it together. He was upset but just stared straight ahead and didn't say anything as I talked to him. And it didn't dawn on me that he'd be THAT attached considering he only sees me for a couple of days every few months.
They're so grown up sometimes. Like the Little Prince. They seem simple but they're complex little monsters. He then went to the door as I was talking to his mother and stood in front of it without saying a word. I knew what he was trying to say. Cuz that's the nice thing about kids, you can read their emotions on their face. There's no games. But as usual, he'll forget in a little while how upset he was. Cuz we all eventually forget how upset we are about things over time. Until the time comes again when we get upset all over again.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I Can't Make This Shit Up...
This weekend was the busiest, craziest one I've had in a long time. I'm convinced crazy finds me. There's no way I seek this shit out. The story below is the most entertaining, scariest, weirdest one. Enjoy.
After a long exhausting Friday with 70 children at Six Flags, me and my new husband Crazy (I'll explain another time) collapse into bed at about 1am. My phone starts vibrating at about 4am and semi-consciously I think it's my alarm for work. I look at the phone and it says I have a voicemail. The call came from the lobby of my building. I groggily go into my voicemail and proceed to hear my 50 year old morning doorman on the other end. He was leaving me a message at 4am pretty much professing his love to me. I shit you not. When I realized who it was I ran to the front door and put the chain on (they have spare keys downstairs).
From what I gather, this guy got drunk and came to work...3 hours early...to call me from the lobby. My heart was racing because I had no idea what he was going to do. Thank god I had my husband here. Now, usually my roommate Trainer Man comes home from work around 4am and he wasn't here, so I called him. He picked up and said "what's wrong?" This is the 2nd time he's had to deal with me and my drama at 4am..so I explained what happened and he said "are you fucking kidding me?! I'll be there in 30 minutes". I love having boys as roommates! Meanwhile, I was now awake. My doorman then calls me again at 4:30am and leaves another message. My favorite part about it was when he said "when you get this message call me back"...um, ok. That's what I'm going to do, buddy.
So around 5am, after I washed some dishes, I hear Trainer Man come home with his friend who looked like the black version of Little John. The doorman was still downstairs saying nonsense and dancing in the lobby and asking Trainer Man "where the girls at?" T.M. actually found the situation funny and was down there for 20 minutes watching this fool. 10 minutes later, doorman calls on the intercom thing. He hung up when T.M. picked up and T.M. said, "if he calls again, I'm gonna go down there and sober him up real fast". Love it.
We chained the door again and went to sleep at 5:30am. At 6:15am I hear knocking. My other roommate had come home and I had to open the door for him. So total, I think I got 8 hours of sleep the WHOLE weekend. I still haven't seen the doorman yet. Monday morning I have to give him the "no es bueno" speech.
But please explain this to me: Why can I get 17 year olds and 50 year olds to profess their love to me but NOT guys my own age?
After a long exhausting Friday with 70 children at Six Flags, me and my new husband Crazy (I'll explain another time) collapse into bed at about 1am. My phone starts vibrating at about 4am and semi-consciously I think it's my alarm for work. I look at the phone and it says I have a voicemail. The call came from the lobby of my building. I groggily go into my voicemail and proceed to hear my 50 year old morning doorman on the other end. He was leaving me a message at 4am pretty much professing his love to me. I shit you not. When I realized who it was I ran to the front door and put the chain on (they have spare keys downstairs).
From what I gather, this guy got drunk and came to work...3 hours early...to call me from the lobby. My heart was racing because I had no idea what he was going to do. Thank god I had my husband here. Now, usually my roommate Trainer Man comes home from work around 4am and he wasn't here, so I called him. He picked up and said "what's wrong?" This is the 2nd time he's had to deal with me and my drama at 4am..so I explained what happened and he said "are you fucking kidding me?! I'll be there in 30 minutes". I love having boys as roommates! Meanwhile, I was now awake. My doorman then calls me again at 4:30am and leaves another message. My favorite part about it was when he said "when you get this message call me back"...um, ok. That's what I'm going to do, buddy.
So around 5am, after I washed some dishes, I hear Trainer Man come home with his friend who looked like the black version of Little John. The doorman was still downstairs saying nonsense and dancing in the lobby and asking Trainer Man "where the girls at?" T.M. actually found the situation funny and was down there for 20 minutes watching this fool. 10 minutes later, doorman calls on the intercom thing. He hung up when T.M. picked up and T.M. said, "if he calls again, I'm gonna go down there and sober him up real fast". Love it.
We chained the door again and went to sleep at 5:30am. At 6:15am I hear knocking. My other roommate had come home and I had to open the door for him. So total, I think I got 8 hours of sleep the WHOLE weekend. I still haven't seen the doorman yet. Monday morning I have to give him the "no es bueno" speech.
But please explain this to me: Why can I get 17 year olds and 50 year olds to profess their love to me but NOT guys my own age?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Thoughts of the Week:
The good thing about having a doorman: they see who's coming and going and they watch out for you. A couple of weeks ago my doorman called me cuz he saw me leave on Friday night for a friends party but didn't see me the rest of the weekend. He thought I was dead. So he called me Monday morning to check on me. That's nice. The bad thing about having a doorman: they see and know everything! And they see when you come in, when you go out, who your visitors are, and when you come in at 10am in the same clothes from the night before. Whoops!
I don't know how(or why) guys put up with some chicks. There's a shit ton of bitches who annoy ME so I can't imagine having to take them out on dates and waking up next to them. Oh, yeah--I know why they put up with them: They have a vagina. Well, their pikachu better be made of gold and able to cook you breakfast in order to put up with some of them. It always perplexes me when I see girls who make their guy hold their purse, or when they make them watch Sex and the City 2, or overhear conversations between couples and realize that she not only wears the pants but carries the whip and chain as well. And I never understand why the guy is still there. I think they like being told what to do and when to do it. They want their mothers. Well, I am no ones mother--except for those being which will be coming OUT of my pikachu.
Ever sit next to a group of people and over hear their conversation and then wonder if you and your group sound as idiotic when you're out in public? It occurs to me sometimes. And sometimes, I think we must appall other people with the things we say. Cuz if you met me, you're familiar with the things that come out of my mouth...
I don't know how(or why) guys put up with some chicks. There's a shit ton of bitches who annoy ME so I can't imagine having to take them out on dates and waking up next to them. Oh, yeah--I know why they put up with them: They have a vagina. Well, their pikachu better be made of gold and able to cook you breakfast in order to put up with some of them. It always perplexes me when I see girls who make their guy hold their purse, or when they make them watch Sex and the City 2, or overhear conversations between couples and realize that she not only wears the pants but carries the whip and chain as well. And I never understand why the guy is still there. I think they like being told what to do and when to do it. They want their mothers. Well, I am no ones mother--except for those being which will be coming OUT of my pikachu.
Ever sit next to a group of people and over hear their conversation and then wonder if you and your group sound as idiotic when you're out in public? It occurs to me sometimes. And sometimes, I think we must appall other people with the things we say. Cuz if you met me, you're familiar with the things that come out of my mouth...
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