This weekend was the busiest, craziest one I've had in a long time. I'm convinced crazy finds me. There's no way I seek this shit out. The story below is the most entertaining, scariest, weirdest one. Enjoy.
After a long exhausting Friday with 70 children at Six Flags, me and my new husband Crazy (I'll explain another time) collapse into bed at about 1am. My phone starts vibrating at about 4am and semi-consciously I think it's my alarm for work. I look at the phone and it says I have a voicemail. The call came from the lobby of my building. I groggily go into my voicemail and proceed to hear my 50 year old morning doorman on the other end. He was leaving me a message at 4am pretty much professing his love to me. I shit you not. When I realized who it was I ran to the front door and put the chain on (they have spare keys downstairs).
From what I gather, this guy got drunk and came to work...3 hours early...to call me from the lobby. My heart was racing because I had no idea what he was going to do. Thank god I had my husband here. Now, usually my roommate Trainer Man comes home from work around 4am and he wasn't here, so I called him. He picked up and said "what's wrong?" This is the 2nd time he's had to deal with me and my drama at 4am..so I explained what happened and he said "are you fucking kidding me?! I'll be there in 30 minutes". I love having boys as roommates! Meanwhile, I was now awake. My doorman then calls me again at 4:30am and leaves another message. My favorite part about it was when he said "when you get this message call me back"...um, ok. That's what I'm going to do, buddy.
So around 5am, after I washed some dishes, I hear Trainer Man come home with his friend who looked like the black version of Little John. The doorman was still downstairs saying nonsense and dancing in the lobby and asking Trainer Man "where the girls at?" T.M. actually found the situation funny and was down there for 20 minutes watching this fool. 10 minutes later, doorman calls on the intercom thing. He hung up when T.M. picked up and T.M. said, "if he calls again, I'm gonna go down there and sober him up real fast". Love it.
We chained the door again and went to sleep at 5:30am. At 6:15am I hear knocking. My other roommate had come home and I had to open the door for him. So total, I think I got 8 hours of sleep the WHOLE weekend. I still haven't seen the doorman yet. Monday morning I have to give him the "no es bueno" speech.
But please explain this to me: Why can I get 17 year olds and 50 year olds to profess their love to me but NOT guys my own age?
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