Doorman Adventures

Doormen see everything. They know who's coming, who's going, if you're ordering Chinese food for 1 every night, if you're drunk, if you're sober, and if you come home at all. The flip side is that you see them every day too and if you talk to them, and if they're talkative enough, you know things about them too. It evens the playing field.

We've already visited the night my old, drunk doorman professed his love for me at 3am. That was interesting. I made it very clear that it was unacceptable and only said 'hello' or 'good morning' to him since then. Meanwhile, the night doorman tells me everything about everything. I like knowing things so it works out well. Last Friday he asked me if I had seen the old man that morning. I said that he said "Happy Friday!" as I was leaving (which is more he's said to me in a while due to his shame) in the morning but that I didn't look at him. He said that he had a black eye. And that his wife beat him up. WHAT?!?! Jesus. I thought I had it bad. Apparently he had gone out on Thursday night and didn't come home until 1:30am. His wife was waiting for him in the lobby and beat the crap out of him.

The next day when I came downstairs I tried looking and the guy was wearing sunglasses inside. haha! Oh boy. Well, that's what you get when you stay out all night drinking, come home drunk and don't tell your wife where you are. Boys, learn from his mistake. We don't want to know where you are at every second but it would be nice to know that you're breathing.

Then on Wednesday morning, after I said good morning he said "Natasha? Are you still mad at me?" I just looked at him and said "um,no" and ran out the door. Did I mention that during all those incidents he had been drinking? Yup. He was drunk by the time I came down at 7:15am. You have a serious problem if you drink before the sun is up or are still drunk when you wake up in the morning.

I cannot tell you how many times I've walked away from my building shaking my head. This place is like a vortex of the absurd and the obscene. You never know what you're gonna get. I'm always surprised walking into this building. 2 more months....