My 26th birthday was supposed to be low key. German Bierhaus. What could go wrong? Had some beer, some sausage, some pretzel. Then people started arriving and time kept on going. Mad M. showed up drunk from a 1 year olds birthday party and some guy took out a ukulele. Down hill from there. There was Shotski 1 (my idea). Absolutely disgusting. Then while on the balcony, a friend of a friend pulled out his ukulele (not a metaphor). He began rapping 'No Scrubs' on his uke then sang us an original rap. All I remember was him mentioning math equations and lots of sex. Then, the serious, big, black bouncer who finally laughed when he turned around and saw me playing the ukulele on the balcony, asked if I ever worked at Applebees in New Rochelle. Um, negative. But apparently I have a twin somewhere up there.
The table next to us was also celebrating a birthday. They were scientists from Poland, Austria and German. They sang happy birthday to me and then came Shotski 2. As heinous as the first one. I go back to my table to find a text from my sister that said "please not the fat one! Go home with the other guy!" Nice. Real classy. What kind of girl do you think I am?!
We ended Bierhaus with Shotski 3 and some hair braiding. On to another location...first randomly stumbled into a bar a friend just opened and then stumbled into Sutton Place which is like the less skanky sister of Tonic East. We ended up on the rooftop, grabbed a table and tried to sober myself up. Got into a friendly debate with Rock Your Body on how to properly pronounce Mario. Long A or short A and asked the group of guys next to us. Most agreed with me--it's short A (point Natasha). Most of our group went downstairs to dance except my Bro and me. The girls next to us were getting hit on by a bunch of Situations. They rolled their eyes and did the polite laughter then turned and asked for a light. The guy looked over and I felt the need to say to him: "hey, buddy. They don't like you." I'm not sure what compelled me to do this. He says "no, i think they do". So I say, "nope. I think YOU like you more than THEY like you." The girls thought this was utterly hysterical. Exit rooftop.
The dj of this joint played horrible techno. Lyricless music. Bleh. We were beyond the point of caring. There was a lot of Jersey Shore fist pumping, jumping, and spilling of beer(on my part). Then a broken toenail, a lost ring, a lost hair tie, and a found ring. I got home at 4am. Overall, a good celebration of my 21st birthday. Next year we'll try to stick to the original plan.
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