A Note To John Mayer

So, we just became a John Mayer friendly household. I never thought I’d see the day. But it’s here. And it’s in my itunes so I must embrace it.

As much as I believe that we are supposed to be together for the mere fact that the universe keeps throwing us together, I also maintain that you are a giant fucked up douchebag. I don’t think you mean to be douchey but you're so messed up in the head that you can’t even see what you say/do clearly anymore. Your songs are about love, usually lost love. You pine that no one can return the love that you give out and that you're so full of cupids, hearts, and little babies but the world won’t let you show it to the best of you ability.

I call bullshit, Mayer.

While your songs are useful in times where one is feeling so low all they want is to hear songs to make them cry and forget what it is that they’ve lost, in reality, it’s bullshit. You claim “I believe that my life’s gonna see the love I give return to me”….why is it that you feel that what you put out is so much more than what other people are giving you? JM, have you ever stopped to wonder that maybe, just maybe, you’re not letting anyone love you? On the outside, through your lyrics, it looks like you are but the feelings that resonate in your songs are not translated through your actions in your actual life. One beautiful celebrity after another, and while they may also be as fucked up in the head as you, you’re telling me that none of them loved you the way you loved them? Or is it that you were too scared to actually let them love you because you’re afraid of getting hurt? Which may be the reason you started writing songs in the first place.

Stop whining and crying all the time that it’s so hard being you because of your celebrity status and other people’s inability to love you. The common factor in all this is you. Change your shit.

(I apologize for this rant. I just listened to “Wheel” and it dawned on me that he’s always blaming others for his problems. This little note is not only meant for him but also applies to the rest of us who do the same damn thing. I still probably want to sleep with him. My love has not wavered. Don’t you worry about that.)