I don't do so well with change. It takes me a while to accept it. Even if I know its coming. Its still hard. I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm a control FREAK but I do like having control over situations that affect me. I don't like being caught off guard. People are unpredictable and since we inevitably have to deal with them on a daily basis, I like to prepare myself as best as I can for what they may or may not do, that way it softens the blow when they sideswipe you with some other ridiculousness they've thought up. And I'm constantly trying to understand why people do the things they do and why they make the choices they do (I know I shouldn't but it can't be helped. Its the psychologist in me), and although I can figure out 98% of things, there are still a few mysteries. Mysteries that will probably never be uncovered.
Moving is hard. And, as much as I know this is for the best, its still hard. Cuz God knows that building and its inhabitants have done nothing but drive me insane for the last 14 months. And despite all the drama, good memories were still made there (they're far and few between at this point, but they exist). I remember when I used to pass the building on a weekly basis 2 years ago and think "who the hell lives in this random building in the middle of Spanish Harlem!?" Boy did I find out!
I can say for certain that this move was much needed. After only 2 nights I feel like my old self again. No anxiety, no wondering how many people are in my living room at 3am, no late night texts, no cleaning after other people. Your home should be where you go to get away from it all. Your sanctuary. You shouldn't be running FROM your home. Well, everything is a learning experience. For better or worse. And I learned a SHIT TON this last year.
Sheryl Crow sings "I think a change/will do you good"...let's hope she's right....
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