I Don't Know How To Feel About This

I'm pretty much all settled into the new place. I like coming home and waking up knowing that everything is in it's place and where I left it the night before. I like living alone. It's so quiet. Which is a good and bad thing I guess. I miss the city though. Not like I don't travel there most of the week, but I miss living there. I went out a few weekends ago and was exhausted at 10:30pm. I looked at that M101 bus and said "oh please take me home!". Instead I had to get on the uptown 6 train for 40 minutes. Woof.
I still don't know how I feel about moving. There are pros and cons. It's two different lives. I like that it's quiet and drama free and clean, but I also miss the convenience and bustle. I'm writing this while my express bus just passed my old street and the M103 bus. I miss those dirty things.

Pros
- It's quiet which means I get to sleep in and don't have to answer to anyone else
- I have a 15 minute walk to work. Which is helpful since I'm not a very good morning person
- I love that I can see stars and everything is dark and quiet
- I feel safer being alone on deserted streets at night than I do on 116th with 25 people around
- I'm less stressed
- I get to be naked more! Hooray!
- I haven't had a full night of sleep since February. Since April, I've been a POW. I would get up in the middle of the night 2-4 times. Mostly because there were people coming and going all hours of the night. And I would get less than 7 hours of interrupted sleep almost every night. My weekend sleep-in was 8:45am. My body finally said NO FUCKING MORE. The weekend of the 9th was the first weekend I've slept in. I can't get enough sleep. I love sleeping. I love waking up at noon on weekends.

Cons
-The drama and craziness that consumed my life also caused me to smoke and drink more and eat less which led me to look better than I ever have. Since there's no longer that factor, I'm starting to eat more. Guess I'm gonna be a fat ass again
-The bus from the local bar in the Bronx stops at 11:07pm on Saturdays and 10:35 on weekdays. If I don't get that, I have a 25-30 minute walk down very dark streets. That makes me sad. I really, really miss 24 hour buses, subways and cabs.
I miss you M15 bus!
-I can't see the NYC skyline from the balcony anymore
- There's no AM paper. Thank god Crazy brings it to me every morning from the city. I'd be lost without that daily crossword puzzle
-No more last minute invitations out. If you wanna see me, tell me ahead of time. Cuz it takes me 30 minutes to get ready and 50 minutes of travel.


I don't know what side I'm on. The sleep factor is pulling me towards PRO but I do miss being in the thick of things. Don't you worry, Manhattan, I'll be back soon....