Fart You Very Much

When is it acceptable to fart? That is the question of the hour. More importantly, when is it acceptable to fart in a relationship? My very serious research shows that most people aren't really bothered by farting. Most women feel that they don't go around farting in front of their significant other but if it slips then "oh well!" we ignore and continue with what we're doing. It was interesting to find that some married women still hide it (i.e. they excuse themselves to another room to do it) but I do understand wanting to maintain a little mystery in the relationship so I’m down for that.


For men, it was split--Half didn't care if women did it and the other half thought it wasn't acceptable, but for the majority of the latter, they also felt like it wasn't acceptable for either party to do it. When one man was asked "when IS it acceptable for a woman to fart?", he responded "childbirth". Smart man. I mean, HE did put her in that situation.


What was interesting was that those who openly farted with family while growing up were more open to farting early in relationships, and even if they weren't exposed to family flatulence, 98% of those surveyed could name one family member who was the resident farter including a mom, aunt, grandma, and uncle. Usually without hesitation.


Personally, I think those things should be done in private. I was told by a guy that I "wasn't allowed to fart ever because it's a big turn off" but that HE was allowed to do it. The first thing I wanted to do after he said that was fart, and if I could do it on command, I probably would've because who doesn't want to do something they're forbidden from doing?

Also, I still don't know why guys find it so funny to fart in the car with the windows up. And no one else really knew either. Maybe someone can explain that to me. Except the men who said that no one should go around farting also did not appreciate when their friends did it either.

Anyway, I hope this research was enlightening for you and a big fart you to everyone who participated in this very serious and extensive research.