The following messages will help enlighten those of you who have never had the pleasure of going on an internet dating site and may just make you feel sympathetic to those of us who have to do it. It's hard out here for a pimp....
“hello pretty lady….I look forward to hearing from your pretty eyes”--- I don’t know about you, Mr. Chaos, but I talk with my mouth and type with my fingers so the odds of you hearing anything from my eyes are slim to none.
“hello sexy”…..will never ever ,ever get me to message you back. Especially when you didn’t read what I was looking for and your whole being doesn’t hit any of the marks.
“what is your favorite bored game to play?”---- Bored game? Reading this message right now
This guy who wasn’t much of a looker himself stated in the beginning of his profile “if you do not have pictures do not contact me"....that can’t be the reason he’s 39 and still single right? At least he said I was adorable so I guess I’m in if nothing else works out.
This guys tag line was “catch me if you can”. In his message he said he wanted to talk...um, that’s if I can catch him, right?
I knew this was gonna be a doozy by the message subject “good morning babe”.
Don’t fucking call a stranger babe. Most people who I LIKE haven’t called me babe. And then the message was this nonsense…..”Your the shit your so fucking awesome I can give you what you have been missing all your life it's happiness fun love stability protection caring honesty passion fill night to be treated like a classy lady your hole life for reals”.
1. It is YOU’RE. 2. You have no idea if I’m fucking awesome. I could be fucking crazy. 3. I’m pretty sure anything you can muster up to give a person, I wouldn’t want if we were the last people on this earth. 4. Don’t worry about the ‘hole’ in my life. I can fill it myself.
Do not ever start your profile with “hello ladies”….ew, ew, ew. No thank you.
This guy: “I would You Like To Know You if You Not Mind”……Yoda? Is that you??
This guy began his message with “..I’m exactly who you are looking for…” I did not feel the need to continue reading after that.
My cut off age is 34…please don’t contact me when you’re 45. When you say I’m a pretty girl, I think of a father saying that to a daughter. Which is close because you’re almost my dads age…
Not all are bad. This guys message was really nice and said “I’m sure you get a million emails but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you write me back”. Aw, no darling, not a million by any means but some, and mostly really creepy. I wanted to be nice and write back but I wasn’t interested so I didn’t want him to get his hopes up. I hate when girls act like that.
Despite me listing that I’m only interested in Caucasians, Match seems to send me a lot of “matches” who are Black, Asian and Hispanic. Why did you ask me if you don’t seem to give a crap about what I want, Match.com? Isn’t it bad enough that I get messages from the middle aged and large black men who think I’m sexy, but you’re going to then say “here are you’re 8 matches for the day….and 6 of them are black so you’re going to mark that little X and then we’re going to send you some more tomorrow so we can play this game all over again.” Match.com then had the audacity to say to me “seems like you’re getting a lot of messages from men who don’t fit your description. Do you want us to filter that for you?”….Um, YES! That is why I paid you! You’re like the man you’re trying to set me up with….someone who doesn’t listen to me!
And lastly, what I learned on my journey through the treacherous waters that is Match.com:
PROFILE NAMES ARE VERY IMPORTANT!!
jerkstorereject (don't tell me you're a jerk from the start! Let me find that out about 3 months after we start dating)
downtoearthguy99 (probably very far from it)
50shadesof… (I didn’t click to continue what the rest of that was)
Princedannyyo (more like princedannyNO)
funnyjew4u (actually one of my favorite names!)
melancholy...(never ever start a profile name with that. Or Emo. Or Sad. Or Desperate. Or suicidal.)
Thank you for taking this journey with me readers, and lets hope that I never have to do this again!!
Monday, July 14, 2014
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Match.com Part 1
A couple months ago I decided to sign up for Match.com. Us single girls always talk about it, and some have even unsuccessfully been on multiple times, but I've never actually heard of a happily ever after story like they show on the commercial. I decided though that I was going to officially do it to at least say I tried. I created my profile but was pained by the thought of paying $50 to MAYBE get one date. Lucky for me, a friend told me about a Groupon deal: one month subscription for $15! How could I say no!!
The way it works is you create a profile and can view other profiles but, unless you sign up and pay, you can't see any of your messages or what guys winked at you or liked your photos. I paid for the month and discovered that I had 30 messages! And they were all what I'd thought they were gonna be....garbage.
I had tried this years ago with OKCupid which was free. All the messages were the same: inappropriate and from men I had no interest in. Apparently the demographic who find me attractive are large black men and older men who look like my father. None of those descriptions fit what I listed I was looking for. You would think that these sites would filter them better for you.
Most of the profiles are the generic crap of "I'm a funny guy who loves his family and is looking for an amazing girl he can spend the rest of his life with"....aren't we all?? Once you actually rifle through the 1,000+ profiles, you message someone and hope he responds or he messages you and you meet him and hope he slightly resembles his profile pics and isn't just looking to have sex with you. It's the same for guys looking for girls too, I know it. You meet the girl and she's 8 years older than any of her pictures and 30 pounds heavier. I get it. Everyone lies. And someone recently said that to me, 'yeah I put the generic stuff on cuz it's what everyone does. No one really thinks they're gonna meet someone serious'.... Um, so then what are we all doing if no one takes it seriously? And for those who actually are trying, it makes it extremely difficult to weed out who is for real and who 'maybe wants and is ready for a relationship right now...or in the future...or ever'.
After reading the first few emails I realized this effort was going to be fruitless but at least I was going to have some entertaining blog material. Lucky for me, God didn't make me suffer through this nonsense and actually sent me a real live person the week I signed up for Match. Funny the way the world works.
The next post will introduce you to all the things men think are acceptable to say to strange women....
The way it works is you create a profile and can view other profiles but, unless you sign up and pay, you can't see any of your messages or what guys winked at you or liked your photos. I paid for the month and discovered that I had 30 messages! And they were all what I'd thought they were gonna be....garbage.
I had tried this years ago with OKCupid which was free. All the messages were the same: inappropriate and from men I had no interest in. Apparently the demographic who find me attractive are large black men and older men who look like my father. None of those descriptions fit what I listed I was looking for. You would think that these sites would filter them better for you.
Most of the profiles are the generic crap of "I'm a funny guy who loves his family and is looking for an amazing girl he can spend the rest of his life with"....aren't we all?? Once you actually rifle through the 1,000+ profiles, you message someone and hope he responds or he messages you and you meet him and hope he slightly resembles his profile pics and isn't just looking to have sex with you. It's the same for guys looking for girls too, I know it. You meet the girl and she's 8 years older than any of her pictures and 30 pounds heavier. I get it. Everyone lies. And someone recently said that to me, 'yeah I put the generic stuff on cuz it's what everyone does. No one really thinks they're gonna meet someone serious'.... Um, so then what are we all doing if no one takes it seriously? And for those who actually are trying, it makes it extremely difficult to weed out who is for real and who 'maybe wants and is ready for a relationship right now...or in the future...or ever'.
After reading the first few emails I realized this effort was going to be fruitless but at least I was going to have some entertaining blog material. Lucky for me, God didn't make me suffer through this nonsense and actually sent me a real live person the week I signed up for Match. Funny the way the world works.
The next post will introduce you to all the things men think are acceptable to say to strange women....
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Secret Messages
There's a secret message tab on Facebook. My friend told me about it recently. Apparently if you go under 'messages' there is a tab in grey on the top that says 'other'. When you click it you're transported to another world--a world where random people message you. I was already perplexed as to the things some people do on Facebook but this was a whole new level of scary. Go on, check the tab right now. You'll find some span messages but also messages from men starting like this…
“Hello….you are a very beauty woman” (no ‘beauty’ was not a typo I made)
“If I ever saw an angel, it was in your eyes…”
“Hey! This is totally random but I just wanted to say what’s up?” (it is random. And what is up, is that there’s a stranger asking how I’m doing)
This isn't Match.com. Stop being a creepy creep and pay the fee if you're looking for someone to date. Girls will never ever see one of those messages and say, "hmmm, this stranger thinks I'm hot and he's not bad looking so sure, let's meet up". Never ever. Because it's creepy that you've looked at our profile and tried to see pictures and you don't know us. Thanks for thinking that we're attractive but it skeeves us to think you're looking at our picture for other reasons too. Also, don't friend people who you've never met before or friends of friends. The girls who accept those kinds of requests either need/enjoy attention from random men or feel bad blowing your request off if you have a mutual friend. Men, we know who you've become 'friends' with them merely to get to look at their bikini selfies. It's gross. We're too old to be doing that and that's why they created Google search---so you can look at random girls pictures without anyone knowing you're creepy.
Thinking about it, I realized that I may have some male friends who do that. If I find out that any of you have been sending messages to random girls I will immediately defriend you. And I HATE defriending but I will do it. It's sad and pathetic, and even more sad when it's girls who are under the age of 21....that now makes you creepy but also is going to solidify your future role as the creepy lonely 40 year old who hits on high schoolers. That's not a good look.
Here is a list of things men shouldn't do in cyber space
My Top 5 things:
1. FRIEND HER AFTER BARELY MEETING HER
2. asK her how she's been...the last time you saw her was the last day of high school...
3. 'like' old pictures (wow, you went through all 1100 pics I was tagged in? that means you've been staring at my face for over an hour...)
4. 'like' her bikini selfie
5. drunk chat with her....just cuz we're on the same time doesn't mean it's a good idea to talk
Here's a complete article of the 25 worst ways to hit on women on social media. I couldn't have written it better myself:
http://www.complex.com/tech/2013/05/the-25-worst-ways-to-hit-on-women-on-social-media/
“Hello….you are a very beauty woman” (no ‘beauty’ was not a typo I made)
“If I ever saw an angel, it was in your eyes…”
“Hey! This is totally random but I just wanted to say what’s up?” (it is random. And what is up, is that there’s a stranger asking how I’m doing)
This isn't Match.com. Stop being a creepy creep and pay the fee if you're looking for someone to date. Girls will never ever see one of those messages and say, "hmmm, this stranger thinks I'm hot and he's not bad looking so sure, let's meet up". Never ever. Because it's creepy that you've looked at our profile and tried to see pictures and you don't know us. Thanks for thinking that we're attractive but it skeeves us to think you're looking at our picture for other reasons too. Also, don't friend people who you've never met before or friends of friends. The girls who accept those kinds of requests either need/enjoy attention from random men or feel bad blowing your request off if you have a mutual friend. Men, we know who you've become 'friends' with them merely to get to look at their bikini selfies. It's gross. We're too old to be doing that and that's why they created Google search---so you can look at random girls pictures without anyone knowing you're creepy.
Thinking about it, I realized that I may have some male friends who do that. If I find out that any of you have been sending messages to random girls I will immediately defriend you. And I HATE defriending but I will do it. It's sad and pathetic, and even more sad when it's girls who are under the age of 21....that now makes you creepy but also is going to solidify your future role as the creepy lonely 40 year old who hits on high schoolers. That's not a good look.
Here is a list of things men shouldn't do in cyber space
My Top 5 things:
1. FRIEND HER AFTER BARELY MEETING HER
2. asK her how she's been...the last time you saw her was the last day of high school...
3. 'like' old pictures (wow, you went through all 1100 pics I was tagged in? that means you've been staring at my face for over an hour...)
4. 'like' her bikini selfie
5. drunk chat with her....just cuz we're on the same time doesn't mean it's a good idea to talk
Here's a complete article of the 25 worst ways to hit on women on social media. I couldn't have written it better myself:
http://www.complex.com/tech/2013/05/the-25-worst-ways-to-hit-on-women-on-social-media/
Sunday, June 15, 2014
You Should Care For Those Who Actually Care
The other day someone said to me as I was being sassy that I should "be nicer to those of us who actually give a shit about you and put up with your crazy". They were joking but we all know that 50% of what people say when they're joking is actually true so....
I started thinking that it may have some merit to it. It's not that I'm walking around being an asshole to people but we all don't just go around saying "I appreciate that" and "thank you so much for thinking about me", etc. We know who's there's for us (or at least should know) but because they're always around we tend to take the little things for granted. You can snap at them and they don't get offended, if you're short they'll pay for your happy hour drinks and not expect repayment, they can see when you need some space and give it to you but will always answer the phone when you call. They do all these little things that show they care without reminding you constantly that they do in fact care, so it's easy to forget to acknowledge it.
We all do that--there's at least one person who puts up with our shitty attitudes and may even huff and puff about it and have to tell you sometimes "you're being a dick" but they're not going to walk away from you. When I think about it, it's nice to know that for about 98% of the population, they are that someone who doesn't walk away but is also someone who takes another for granted. It's a nice little circle of 'pay it forward' which makes me feel better about the world, although we sometimes fixate on the people who we would like to care about us and neglect the persons who are actually right in front of us. Is there a point you say 'no more' and walk away, or do you stick it out even if it's one sided and know that you probably do that to someone else?
I need to start being more conscious of that--- when people have seen you at your worst and still want to know you, those are the people you should want to keep around. Not everyone will put up with your shitty attitude (and yes, we all are shitty at some point) and it's interesting to find that one difficult person is another persons gem and in turn, that first person may put up with someone else's shittiness. I love that it's all give and take and we don't even realize it.
I started thinking that it may have some merit to it. It's not that I'm walking around being an asshole to people but we all don't just go around saying "I appreciate that" and "thank you so much for thinking about me", etc. We know who's there's for us (or at least should know) but because they're always around we tend to take the little things for granted. You can snap at them and they don't get offended, if you're short they'll pay for your happy hour drinks and not expect repayment, they can see when you need some space and give it to you but will always answer the phone when you call. They do all these little things that show they care without reminding you constantly that they do in fact care, so it's easy to forget to acknowledge it.
We all do that--there's at least one person who puts up with our shitty attitudes and may even huff and puff about it and have to tell you sometimes "you're being a dick" but they're not going to walk away from you. When I think about it, it's nice to know that for about 98% of the population, they are that someone who doesn't walk away but is also someone who takes another for granted. It's a nice little circle of 'pay it forward' which makes me feel better about the world, although we sometimes fixate on the people who we would like to care about us and neglect the persons who are actually right in front of us. Is there a point you say 'no more' and walk away, or do you stick it out even if it's one sided and know that you probably do that to someone else?
I need to start being more conscious of that--- when people have seen you at your worst and still want to know you, those are the people you should want to keep around. Not everyone will put up with your shitty attitude (and yes, we all are shitty at some point) and it's interesting to find that one difficult person is another persons gem and in turn, that first person may put up with someone else's shittiness. I love that it's all give and take and we don't even realize it.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Are You My Mommy?
I've always wanted to have kids; mainly boys because, I don't know if you know, but girls are kind of dramatic. I do expect that the Fates that Be will play another joke on me (as they've been doing all my life) and bless me with ALL girls. I'm ready for that. I also realize that I am not ready in the slightest for kids right now!
As you approach thirty, there's always pressure as a woman to start having kids because biology tells us that our precious eggs have an expiry date and that our boobs are not getting any higher and our face isn't getting any smoother. And even if we don't have family nagging us with the incessant and intrusive "when are you gonna have kids and get married?!", there's always that unspoken pressure to compare ourselves to everyone else. This especially occurs when all your friends start disappearing because they're dealing with flower arrangements and Yo Gabba Gabba and it's hard to not feel left behind.
Having to deal with a child 5 days a week for the last 7 months has made me realize that I'm ok with not having kids any time soon! As cute as they are and as much as I love snuggling with a freshly washed baby wrapped in a towel, I'm ok not having someone else dictate when I wake up, when I can go out, and taking hours off of my sleepy time. I don't care about homework (which any parent will tell you is torturous), or scheduling play dates ( I had to make small talk with a parent as she crushed up and drank a bunch of pills for her "back pain". I don't think Valium and Percocet are supposed to go together but I'm no doctor...), or making nice with other parents when I think their child is a undisciplined monster. I don't care about what TV show you want to watch or have to console someone else after a tantrum because, honestly, I'm not done having my own tantrums.
You've all heard before how I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason. This family found me when I was at my wits end after my rent went up, and I couldn't find another better paying job, and I could barely afford to buy myself a slice of pizza, but I also think that I needed them to help calm that little nagging voice that popped up in my head every once in a while when I felt I wasn't where I should be compared to all my other friends.
I sometimes find myself at 7:30pm, on my way home from the kid, sniffing people on the crowded train. Why you ask? Because they have the faint smell of a dank bar and alcohol on their breath---the way one smells after a successful after work happy hour. I used to smell like that, I used to smile on the train too. I can't wait to smell like that again soon.
As you approach thirty, there's always pressure as a woman to start having kids because biology tells us that our precious eggs have an expiry date and that our boobs are not getting any higher and our face isn't getting any smoother. And even if we don't have family nagging us with the incessant and intrusive "when are you gonna have kids and get married?!", there's always that unspoken pressure to compare ourselves to everyone else. This especially occurs when all your friends start disappearing because they're dealing with flower arrangements and Yo Gabba Gabba and it's hard to not feel left behind.
Having to deal with a child 5 days a week for the last 7 months has made me realize that I'm ok with not having kids any time soon! As cute as they are and as much as I love snuggling with a freshly washed baby wrapped in a towel, I'm ok not having someone else dictate when I wake up, when I can go out, and taking hours off of my sleepy time. I don't care about homework (which any parent will tell you is torturous), or scheduling play dates ( I had to make small talk with a parent as she crushed up and drank a bunch of pills for her "back pain". I don't think Valium and Percocet are supposed to go together but I'm no doctor...), or making nice with other parents when I think their child is a undisciplined monster. I don't care about what TV show you want to watch or have to console someone else after a tantrum because, honestly, I'm not done having my own tantrums.
You've all heard before how I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason. This family found me when I was at my wits end after my rent went up, and I couldn't find another better paying job, and I could barely afford to buy myself a slice of pizza, but I also think that I needed them to help calm that little nagging voice that popped up in my head every once in a while when I felt I wasn't where I should be compared to all my other friends.
I sometimes find myself at 7:30pm, on my way home from the kid, sniffing people on the crowded train. Why you ask? Because they have the faint smell of a dank bar and alcohol on their breath---the way one smells after a successful after work happy hour. I used to smell like that, I used to smile on the train too. I can't wait to smell like that again soon.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Fart You Very Much
When is it acceptable to fart? That is the question of the hour. More importantly, when is it acceptable to fart in a relationship? My very serious research shows that most people aren't really bothered by farting. Most women feel that they don't go around farting in front of their significant other but if it slips then "oh well!" we ignore and continue with what we're doing. It was interesting to find that some married women still hide it (i.e. they excuse themselves to another room to do it) but I do understand wanting to maintain a little mystery in the relationship so I’m down for that.
For men, it was split--Half didn't care if women did it and the other half thought it wasn't acceptable, but for the majority of the latter, they also felt like it wasn't acceptable for either party to do it. When one man was asked "when IS it acceptable for a woman to fart?", he responded "childbirth". Smart man. I mean, HE did put her in that situation.
What was interesting was that those who openly farted with family while growing up were more open to farting early in relationships, and even if they weren't exposed to family flatulence, 98% of those surveyed could name one family member who was the resident farter including a mom, aunt, grandma, and uncle. Usually without hesitation.
Personally, I think those things should be done in private. I was told by a guy that I "wasn't allowed to fart ever because it's a big turn off" but that HE was allowed to do it. The first thing I wanted to do after he said that was fart, and if I could do it on command, I probably would've because who doesn't want to do something they're forbidden from doing?
Also, I still don't know why guys find it so funny to fart in the car with the windows up. And no one else really knew either. Maybe someone can explain that to me. Except the men who said that no one should go around farting also did not appreciate when their friends did it either.
Anyway, I hope this research was enlightening for you and a big fart you to everyone who participated in this very serious and extensive research.
For men, it was split--Half didn't care if women did it and the other half thought it wasn't acceptable, but for the majority of the latter, they also felt like it wasn't acceptable for either party to do it. When one man was asked "when IS it acceptable for a woman to fart?", he responded "childbirth". Smart man. I mean, HE did put her in that situation.
What was interesting was that those who openly farted with family while growing up were more open to farting early in relationships, and even if they weren't exposed to family flatulence, 98% of those surveyed could name one family member who was the resident farter including a mom, aunt, grandma, and uncle. Usually without hesitation.
Personally, I think those things should be done in private. I was told by a guy that I "wasn't allowed to fart ever because it's a big turn off" but that HE was allowed to do it. The first thing I wanted to do after he said that was fart, and if I could do it on command, I probably would've because who doesn't want to do something they're forbidden from doing?
Also, I still don't know why guys find it so funny to fart in the car with the windows up. And no one else really knew either. Maybe someone can explain that to me. Except the men who said that no one should go around farting also did not appreciate when their friends did it either.
Anyway, I hope this research was enlightening for you and a big fart you to everyone who participated in this very serious and extensive research.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Would You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth?
Here's some scenarios for you....
Boy gets girls number, makes a date, cancels the date the day before and never reschedules. A few months later, hits on same girl at bar forgetting he already blew her off. Then retakes her number. And blows her off again.
Guy passes napkin down the bar that said "are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see" then wrote "put response here:.PNG)
The drunk man on a Thursday who told me to "get off my pedestal" after he invaded our table, spilled beer in the chicken fingers, and I told him to go away because we didn't want to be friends with him (he then found a girl at the bar and within 15 minutes had his hand down her pants. Some girls condone that behavior I guess)
Says "Can I see your boobs?"
Says “you have really nice legs. What time do they open?”
Man breaks up with girlfriend out of the blue. While she's in the shower.
The man with a girlfriend who told someone he worked with that he watches her on the cameras as she works. And got her phone number from the employee database. That’s not creepy at all…
Man goes behind girls on dancefloor and grinds on them without asking if they actually want him invading their personal space
The married man who sends another employee messages filled with LOL's and asks when they're going on a lunch date....frequently and often on her personal phone.
These men all have mothers. And some have sisters, and some may even have daughters one day. Their constant thought should be "what would I do to the man who treated my sister like that?" The answer to that, in most cases, would be "I'd kill him!" You can usually easily tell which man has a mother/sister, and who respects them, which is the key to all this I suppose. If they don't respect the women who they grew up with, how would they magically learn how to respect any woman who they have to deal with later on in life?
The worst is the only child. Not only do they usually have deficient social and interpersonal skills due to constant solo play and mostly adult interactions, but they also lack the understanding of the opposite sex and the need to 'protect them'. Because, in essence, that is what we're talking about: protecting their being, protecting their feelings, being able to share, being able to compromise, and the ability to tolerate constant companionship. I made my sister cry when we were younger but I also shielded her from being hurt and protected her when someone bothered her, same for my brother. I like being alone but I constantly had someone in my room and all up in my stuff. Those are things you learn to deal with. Those are things you learn to do naturally so it's pretty unnatural when you're an only child and used to being on your own. I always wished I had an overprotected older brother instead I'm the oldest and there's no one to protect me but myself. Sigh.
I digressed a bit but will bring it back to the interactions between men and women. For those who aren't only children, the idea of being respectful, and aware of how they're interacting with the opposite sex, should return to their families: monkey see, monkey do. It always fascinates me how people respond to their environment and how they channel what they see into how they act. What habits do we pick up and what habits do we avoid?
If you grow up in a violent household where they're constant yelling and fighting, you respond one of two ways: you grow up and continue with the violence because that's what you learned and know OR you become the opposite and avoid confrontation and always try to be calm, consciously trying to avoid becoming what you've witnessed and aware that it isn't correct behavior.
When you grow up not ever knowing or seeing a functioning and loving relationship you: continue having crappy relationships and the bad choices you make continue to sabotage your chance of ever being happy OR you pin point all the mistakes others have made and you try your hardest not to become what you see/know.
But you have to first be aware that it's affected you to begin with. That's the tricky part. It's a combination of environment and personality and interactions which lead to how we behave and make the life choices we do. Most people can change, if they want to. And on very few occasions, they're just an asshole who hates their mother and who wants to put his hand down your pants at a bar on a Thursday night.
Boy gets girls number, makes a date, cancels the date the day before and never reschedules. A few months later, hits on same girl at bar forgetting he already blew her off. Then retakes her number. And blows her off again.
Guy passes napkin down the bar that said "are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see" then wrote "put response here:
.PNG)
The drunk man on a Thursday who told me to "get off my pedestal" after he invaded our table, spilled beer in the chicken fingers, and I told him to go away because we didn't want to be friends with him (he then found a girl at the bar and within 15 minutes had his hand down her pants. Some girls condone that behavior I guess)
Says "Can I see your boobs?"
Says “you have really nice legs. What time do they open?”
Man breaks up with girlfriend out of the blue. While she's in the shower.
The man with a girlfriend who told someone he worked with that he watches her on the cameras as she works. And got her phone number from the employee database. That’s not creepy at all…
Man goes behind girls on dancefloor and grinds on them without asking if they actually want him invading their personal space
The married man who sends another employee messages filled with LOL's and asks when they're going on a lunch date....frequently and often on her personal phone.
These men all have mothers. And some have sisters, and some may even have daughters one day. Their constant thought should be "what would I do to the man who treated my sister like that?" The answer to that, in most cases, would be "I'd kill him!" You can usually easily tell which man has a mother/sister, and who respects them, which is the key to all this I suppose. If they don't respect the women who they grew up with, how would they magically learn how to respect any woman who they have to deal with later on in life?
The worst is the only child. Not only do they usually have deficient social and interpersonal skills due to constant solo play and mostly adult interactions, but they also lack the understanding of the opposite sex and the need to 'protect them'. Because, in essence, that is what we're talking about: protecting their being, protecting their feelings, being able to share, being able to compromise, and the ability to tolerate constant companionship. I made my sister cry when we were younger but I also shielded her from being hurt and protected her when someone bothered her, same for my brother. I like being alone but I constantly had someone in my room and all up in my stuff. Those are things you learn to deal with. Those are things you learn to do naturally so it's pretty unnatural when you're an only child and used to being on your own. I always wished I had an overprotected older brother instead I'm the oldest and there's no one to protect me but myself. Sigh.
I digressed a bit but will bring it back to the interactions between men and women. For those who aren't only children, the idea of being respectful, and aware of how they're interacting with the opposite sex, should return to their families: monkey see, monkey do. It always fascinates me how people respond to their environment and how they channel what they see into how they act. What habits do we pick up and what habits do we avoid?
If you grow up in a violent household where they're constant yelling and fighting, you respond one of two ways: you grow up and continue with the violence because that's what you learned and know OR you become the opposite and avoid confrontation and always try to be calm, consciously trying to avoid becoming what you've witnessed and aware that it isn't correct behavior.
When you grow up not ever knowing or seeing a functioning and loving relationship you: continue having crappy relationships and the bad choices you make continue to sabotage your chance of ever being happy OR you pin point all the mistakes others have made and you try your hardest not to become what you see/know.
But you have to first be aware that it's affected you to begin with. That's the tricky part. It's a combination of environment and personality and interactions which lead to how we behave and make the life choices we do. Most people can change, if they want to. And on very few occasions, they're just an asshole who hates their mother and who wants to put his hand down your pants at a bar on a Thursday night.
Friday, May 30, 2014
It's All About The Eyes, Boys
You've heard this story before: a guy you know says "my ex was so crazy" and "that girl I was dating was crazy". After the fifth time you stop and say: hold up, either you have found ALL the crazy girls to date (which is on YOU because there are a lot of very nice non-crazy chicks out there) or you truly are oblivious to all the signs and need some assistance. There are indeed signs, boys. We all have our crazy but some peoples isn't situational, it is constant. Those are the ones you want to avoid so here's a guide on how to spot them.
Firstly, watch How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. Secondly, avoid girls who do all the things Kate Hudson does. If you are too lazy to get on Netflix let me give you the cliff notes version:
1. If you start seeing a girl and she "conveniently" forgets something at your place, put those antennae up. We're girls. We know where everything is. At all times.
2. Two months in she's stocking your fridge with her favorite things and bought you some throw pillows for your couch. Keep your eye out, she's getting too cozy. One day you're going to realize that she's slept in your bed for the last....21 days. She has officially moved in and you didn't notice. Your fault.
3. She's all of a sudden BFF with your mom/sister/your BFF from kindergarten. You've been dating for 3 weeks. She's getting her claws in those around you so it's harder for you to break up with her. Cuz they all really liked her and now you went and ruined everything and your mom reminds you of it every Christmas. For the rest of your life.
4. She pouts and cries to get her way. It's one thing if she cries because you're being a dick but if she cries and then is all smiles when you agree/do something/buy something she wants, red flag. Most girls don't do that, they are humans who recognize they will not always get their way and they deal with it. Just like YOU will not always get your way.
5. She mentioned Jeffrey and Sally. Brunch buddies? Nope. The name of your future children, silly. Yeah, we all get in a good relationship and want to think long-term so maybe you'll have your wedding in your hometown and go to Fiji for your honeymoon and both want 3 kids. That's ok to think about. But you do it in your head. Alone. And you don't tell a guy that (because you tend to scare easily) until you're sure he's going to put a ring on it in the next couple years.
6. You have guy night this Friday. She says "don't leave me!" Or "can I come too?" Or really doesn't ask you at all and ends up being the only girl at poker night. Even if all her friends are busy and can't hang out, your girl should be capable of sitting alone at home with a bottle of wine while you do your thing. You don't need to be attached at the hip 24/7. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I guess that means constant companionship makes the heart grow dark and hateful..
7. She's in the same place you are....and you're in another town/city. How did she know? Because your friend tagged you on Facebook or Instagram. Coincidence right? Yup, if you live and/or hang out in the same places. But if it seems to happen more than not, start looking more closely. Yes, we have all been guilty of cyber stalking. We've checked out peoples old photos or checked out the new person someone just became friends with, and don't try to deny it because I can't think of one person I know that hasn't checked into someone else. Curiosity is human nature. When you have a board on your wall with pictures of how your boyfriend knows everyone with string connecting it like you're part of the cast of The Wire, then you may have a problem.
8. Look at her Instagram. There's a lot of selfies. And she's 'liked' her own selfies. And most of those selfies are taken while she's in the driver seat of the car. Chances are she isn't a very safe driver to begin with so she should probably put down the phone. Run.
9. She posts those dramatic facebook meme/quotes/pictures.Example: “Sometimes 2 people need to be lost in order to find each other again” with a background pic of a sunset…. Yup, we all love inspirational quotes but there's a line between inspiration and sad emo pay attention and feel sorry for me. Double crazy points if her Instagram pictures pretty much alternate from car selfies to these posts.
10. Her Facebook profile picture album has 120 pictures in it. Because she changes it almost every week. Because she has a lot of selfies. Here she is being artistic girl, sad girl, party girl, bikini girl, black and white looking into the distance girl, side boob girl....the caption for all these photos is always the same: crazy eyes girl.
11. She says "I don't have many girl friends. They tend not to like me. But I do have a lot of guy friends!"...red alert!!! This isn't the Bad Girls Club, we don't always fight with each other. There are some girls who have never ever had a fight with their girl friend because unlike family, you can choose your friends so why choose people you hate? You can have a lot of guy friends, sure, but most girls have at least 1 or 2 girls they're close with. There's a reason she has no girl friends. And it's probably because her "guy friends" used to be her girl friends boyfriends.
12. Her longest, most loving, relationship ever has been with....her dog. It's the only thing that has been constant in her life. Her dog is also untrained, does it's own thing, and goes ballistic when it doesn't get its way. I hear dogs are reflections of their owners so....
You can't complain if you keep choosing crazy girls. Sometimes, we make a mistake. Some people are really, really good at hiding their crazy. But if you look at the pictures on this post, these girls all have the same thing. They may have different colored eyes but there is a twinkle in them. That little twinkle that says "if you break up with me, I will burn all your shit." Boys, look for that twinkle. It really is there.
One thing I can't wrap my head around is when guys get back with exes who were labeled "crazy". They are not a tattoo or a time when you gave birth to a living thing. They are not pain that is momentary and situational that you forget about over time. Because we always swear we're never getting another tattoo but then do it again and scream "this is the worst idea ever!" Because humans don't really change so yes, it really IS the worst idea ever if that girl falls into any of the above categories. And no, the sex really WASN'T that great. There are sane girls who can do the same moves, we read the same Cosmo articles. Also, when a guy claims all his exes were crazy, the first thing we think about (if you aren't indeed crazy eyed) is, "when we break up, will he be telling his friends that same thing about me?" Men, don't do that. Don't say all your exes were crazy. Say: "I chose to date a lot of crazy girls and I don't wanna do that anymore which is why I'm with you, honey. Because you're fucking awesome". But only if it's true---because if you lie to us we will know. And we will burn your shit to the ground.
I know I'm picking on the girls right now but there are also guys who you want to avoid. That will be another blog post entirely for the ladies....stay tuned.
Firstly, watch How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. Secondly, avoid girls who do all the things Kate Hudson does. If you are too lazy to get on Netflix let me give you the cliff notes version:
1. If you start seeing a girl and she "conveniently" forgets something at your place, put those antennae up. We're girls. We know where everything is. At all times.
2. Two months in she's stocking your fridge with her favorite things and bought you some throw pillows for your couch. Keep your eye out, she's getting too cozy. One day you're going to realize that she's slept in your bed for the last....21 days. She has officially moved in and you didn't notice. Your fault.
3. She's all of a sudden BFF with your mom/sister/your BFF from kindergarten. You've been dating for 3 weeks. She's getting her claws in those around you so it's harder for you to break up with her. Cuz they all really liked her and now you went and ruined everything and your mom reminds you of it every Christmas. For the rest of your life.
4. She pouts and cries to get her way. It's one thing if she cries because you're being a dick but if she cries and then is all smiles when you agree/do something/buy something she wants, red flag. Most girls don't do that, they are humans who recognize they will not always get their way and they deal with it. Just like YOU will not always get your way.
5. She mentioned Jeffrey and Sally. Brunch buddies? Nope. The name of your future children, silly. Yeah, we all get in a good relationship and want to think long-term so maybe you'll have your wedding in your hometown and go to Fiji for your honeymoon and both want 3 kids. That's ok to think about. But you do it in your head. Alone. And you don't tell a guy that (because you tend to scare easily) until you're sure he's going to put a ring on it in the next couple years.
6. You have guy night this Friday. She says "don't leave me!" Or "can I come too?" Or really doesn't ask you at all and ends up being the only girl at poker night. Even if all her friends are busy and can't hang out, your girl should be capable of sitting alone at home with a bottle of wine while you do your thing. You don't need to be attached at the hip 24/7. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I guess that means constant companionship makes the heart grow dark and hateful..
7. She's in the same place you are....and you're in another town/city. How did she know? Because your friend tagged you on Facebook or Instagram. Coincidence right? Yup, if you live and/or hang out in the same places. But if it seems to happen more than not, start looking more closely. Yes, we have all been guilty of cyber stalking. We've checked out peoples old photos or checked out the new person someone just became friends with, and don't try to deny it because I can't think of one person I know that hasn't checked into someone else. Curiosity is human nature. When you have a board on your wall with pictures of how your boyfriend knows everyone with string connecting it like you're part of the cast of The Wire, then you may have a problem.
8. Look at her Instagram. There's a lot of selfies. And she's 'liked' her own selfies. And most of those selfies are taken while she's in the driver seat of the car. Chances are she isn't a very safe driver to begin with so she should probably put down the phone. Run.
9. She posts those dramatic facebook meme/quotes/pictures.Example: “Sometimes 2 people need to be lost in order to find each other again” with a background pic of a sunset…. Yup, we all love inspirational quotes but there's a line between inspiration and sad emo pay attention and feel sorry for me. Double crazy points if her Instagram pictures pretty much alternate from car selfies to these posts.
10. Her Facebook profile picture album has 120 pictures in it. Because she changes it almost every week. Because she has a lot of selfies. Here she is being artistic girl, sad girl, party girl, bikini girl, black and white looking into the distance girl, side boob girl....the caption for all these photos is always the same: crazy eyes girl.
11. She says "I don't have many girl friends. They tend not to like me. But I do have a lot of guy friends!"...red alert!!! This isn't the Bad Girls Club, we don't always fight with each other. There are some girls who have never ever had a fight with their girl friend because unlike family, you can choose your friends so why choose people you hate? You can have a lot of guy friends, sure, but most girls have at least 1 or 2 girls they're close with. There's a reason she has no girl friends. And it's probably because her "guy friends" used to be her girl friends boyfriends.
12. Her longest, most loving, relationship ever has been with....her dog. It's the only thing that has been constant in her life. Her dog is also untrained, does it's own thing, and goes ballistic when it doesn't get its way. I hear dogs are reflections of their owners so....
You can't complain if you keep choosing crazy girls. Sometimes, we make a mistake. Some people are really, really good at hiding their crazy. But if you look at the pictures on this post, these girls all have the same thing. They may have different colored eyes but there is a twinkle in them. That little twinkle that says "if you break up with me, I will burn all your shit." Boys, look for that twinkle. It really is there.
One thing I can't wrap my head around is when guys get back with exes who were labeled "crazy". They are not a tattoo or a time when you gave birth to a living thing. They are not pain that is momentary and situational that you forget about over time. Because we always swear we're never getting another tattoo but then do it again and scream "this is the worst idea ever!" Because humans don't really change so yes, it really IS the worst idea ever if that girl falls into any of the above categories. And no, the sex really WASN'T that great. There are sane girls who can do the same moves, we read the same Cosmo articles. Also, when a guy claims all his exes were crazy, the first thing we think about (if you aren't indeed crazy eyed) is, "when we break up, will he be telling his friends that same thing about me?" Men, don't do that. Don't say all your exes were crazy. Say: "I chose to date a lot of crazy girls and I don't wanna do that anymore which is why I'm with you, honey. Because you're fucking awesome". But only if it's true---because if you lie to us we will know. And we will burn your shit to the ground.
I know I'm picking on the girls right now but there are also guys who you want to avoid. That will be another blog post entirely for the ladies....stay tuned.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
2014: 1---------Everyone Else: 0
2014 has been kicking our asses. People losing their jobs, people just quitting their jobs, people moving to other cities, deaths, marriages, breakups...all in just 5 months! It's been a damn whirlwind but I'm excited (and scared) to see what the next 7 months will bring. Hopefully all happiness and smooth sailings cuz I don't know if we can handle much more craziness.
what the next part of the year should look like...
May flew by and I don't even have more than a second to write a damn post. I do have lots of thoughts though so it would be really helpful if we could connect my brain to the computer with a USB so it can just download....can someone invent that please.
I leave you with this for now:
" The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times"
~ Paulo Coelho
what the next part of the year should look like...
May flew by and I don't even have more than a second to write a damn post. I do have lots of thoughts though so it would be really helpful if we could connect my brain to the computer with a USB so it can just download....can someone invent that please.
I leave you with this for now:
" The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times"
~ Paulo Coelho
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Are You Suffering From Nopantsness?
Leggings are not pants. I don't know how many times we can say it or how many magazines can write about it before people believe it. We even provide pictures for those visual learners. We write funny captions mocking these leggings wearers (some may have even recognized their flabby butts in the back of Glamour with the black bar over their face), but yet they continue to wear them in public.
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How many times have I had to witness camel toe, obviously panty lines, see-through leggings with NO underwear, leggings with holes in them, and underwear that showed right through. I don't wanna see your underwear with hearts all over it that says PINK on the butt as I walked behind you down the street and I highly doubt men are turned on by that.
There's a reason why they are sheer---because they are meant to go UNDER something. So do us all a favor and tell a girl you know suffering from undiagnosed Nopantsness, that she doesn't have to be ashamed of her condition but she does need to make a major change in her life. She needs to buy some real pants.
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Photo Credits: Maria Corbett
We all like to feel stretchy and have the freedom to drop it down and do a split on command without having to hike up our jean leg, but your leggings need to stay inside, preferably hanging out with an oversized shirt that covers your junk.
Readers, spread the word. Post this PSA on your walls, email it to a friend suffering from this disorder, and hang it up in your office so that lady who sits in the corner cubicle can see it and say, "damn, that lady with the black bar on her face is me. I will suffer from this embarrassment no more!"
.JPG)
How many times have I had to witness camel toe, obviously panty lines, see-through leggings with NO underwear, leggings with holes in them, and underwear that showed right through. I don't wanna see your underwear with hearts all over it that says PINK on the butt as I walked behind you down the street and I highly doubt men are turned on by that.
There's a reason why they are sheer---because they are meant to go UNDER something. So do us all a favor and tell a girl you know suffering from undiagnosed Nopantsness, that she doesn't have to be ashamed of her condition but she does need to make a major change in her life. She needs to buy some real pants.
.JPG)
We all like to feel stretchy and have the freedom to drop it down and do a split on command without having to hike up our jean leg, but your leggings need to stay inside, preferably hanging out with an oversized shirt that covers your junk.
Readers, spread the word. Post this PSA on your walls, email it to a friend suffering from this disorder, and hang it up in your office so that lady who sits in the corner cubicle can see it and say, "damn, that lady with the black bar on her face is me. I will suffer from this embarrassment no more!"
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
The 'Who Can Care Less' Generation
I recently read an article in which the author claimed this generations’ interpersonal relationships had become a game of ‘who can care less’. I read her article twice and paused at that sentence and thought of several personal situations where that was true. Thinking back I could notice that that had happened, but when it actually occurred it was a natural reaction. This frightened me that I had no idea it was happening and that trying to appear uninvolved and unaffected by something or someone was so second nature. It’s understandable, as a self-preservation measure to guard us against being hurt, but it’s become so part of our nature now and we do it just to keep up with the norm around us.
The author started the article regarding college dating, but then how we act in those early years sort of continues throughout our twenties and, for some people, into their thirties. The author pointed out an instance in her life where a boy she liked in college asked her if she was going to a party being thrown and that they would meet up. She got excited but didn’t want to show it, and did what we all do---act super chill and aloof. But then he didn’t text her and she didn’t know if she would go to the party so she ended up staying home. When she ran into him, she casually mentioned it (because you don’t want to seem like you really care, right?) and he kind of shrugged it off and said that he thought they were just meeting there making it seem like they got their wires crossed. Now, maybe he wasn’t interested and this was a way for him to blow her off nicely, maybe he just wanted to go with his friends and assumed they were just going to pass each other while there, or maybe he legitimately didn’t think she was looking forward to going to the party with him because…she was so aloof about the whole thing! I’m fascinated by peoples’ behaviors and choices and actions (both voluntary and involuntary) and there’s always room for misinterpretation at any given time, but now we have to ‘fake’ everything (including how we act and what we feel) so there’s so much more misinterpretation than ever--because no one is actually expressing what or how they feel! It’s all a big lie and we have to waste time breaking down all the scenarios it could be, and even then, sometimes it’s nothing we think it could be. It’s all very exhausting.
Everyone is afraid of being hurt emotionally—some more than others—but we close ourselves off to feeling anything by making it a competition of ‘who can care less’. We can’t get too excited or too mad or too sad. In the courting phase of a relationship, you’re not supposed to get too excited when you see the other person’s name light up on your phone or be too available for them (even if you ARE home in your pajamas watching The Bachelor). And, god forbid you utter those three deadly words too early...I . Love. ...um, never mind! Because when you get someone who actually strays from the now norm, you panic and call your friend raving “isn’t this too soon!? Why am I meeting his family!? Does he want to get married?! What’s happening?! This is scary, I’m gonna run away now”.
So, to save us all the panic and public humiliation (in case we’re wrong about what we think we’ve read into), we play it cool. Like when your lovely relationship finally implodes, it’s best to see ‘who can care less’. “I’m not bothered”. “NO, I’M not bothered”. And we’re both fine…right?--Except we’re in our respective corners downing a bottle of Jack or binge watching The Notebook. A few episodes ago, New Girl solidified this phenomenon when Jess and Nick broke up---they played the ‘who can care less’ game. And they realized it in the end and decided to just be honest about how they were feeling. Which is so much better, but so damn scary. We have to be even keeled, emotionless robots all the time. But if everyone isn’t saying or showing how they really feel, then do we actually know anything? We’re all just existing. It’s weird when you stop and think about it. If what we’re doing isn’t truthful then that leads to more hurt feelings and misinterpretations. It’s a stupid cycle. Of course, I’m talking about when two people actually care because there’s always the instances where one person is a selfish, self-involved brat who is unaffected by the whole ordeal. In that case, they shouldn’t have been in a relationship in the first place, affecting other people, but unfortunately, not everyone in this society is capable of caring about other people’s feeling and, sadly, this is a frequent occurrence (one that could be documented at length in a separate blog post).
You always hear older people saying that once you get older you stop caring what other people think. When you’re 80 years old, you figure you’ve survived THAT long so, fuck it “your hat is stupid and you need to lose 20 pounds”, and you can say things like that because you have nothing to lose. In your thirties you look back on yourself in your 20’s and say, “Gurl, you were so dumb sometimes! Look at all those opportunities you missed because you were too scared to say or do something”. I’m starting to get that. When you have to go through some strong hurts that shatter your world (or so you think) and then you survive, you start realizing that you’re stronger than you thought and you begin to be able to open yourself up and become a little more vulnerable. Because if you survived the last one, you can survive this one.
HERE'S THE LINK THE TO THE ARTICLE IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A GANDER. QUITE INTERESTING FOR A COSMO PIECE:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/college-dating-screwed-up
The author started the article regarding college dating, but then how we act in those early years sort of continues throughout our twenties and, for some people, into their thirties. The author pointed out an instance in her life where a boy she liked in college asked her if she was going to a party being thrown and that they would meet up. She got excited but didn’t want to show it, and did what we all do---act super chill and aloof. But then he didn’t text her and she didn’t know if she would go to the party so she ended up staying home. When she ran into him, she casually mentioned it (because you don’t want to seem like you really care, right?) and he kind of shrugged it off and said that he thought they were just meeting there making it seem like they got their wires crossed. Now, maybe he wasn’t interested and this was a way for him to blow her off nicely, maybe he just wanted to go with his friends and assumed they were just going to pass each other while there, or maybe he legitimately didn’t think she was looking forward to going to the party with him because…she was so aloof about the whole thing! I’m fascinated by peoples’ behaviors and choices and actions (both voluntary and involuntary) and there’s always room for misinterpretation at any given time, but now we have to ‘fake’ everything (including how we act and what we feel) so there’s so much more misinterpretation than ever--because no one is actually expressing what or how they feel! It’s all a big lie and we have to waste time breaking down all the scenarios it could be, and even then, sometimes it’s nothing we think it could be. It’s all very exhausting.
Everyone is afraid of being hurt emotionally—some more than others—but we close ourselves off to feeling anything by making it a competition of ‘who can care less’. We can’t get too excited or too mad or too sad. In the courting phase of a relationship, you’re not supposed to get too excited when you see the other person’s name light up on your phone or be too available for them (even if you ARE home in your pajamas watching The Bachelor). And, god forbid you utter those three deadly words too early...I . Love. ...um, never mind! Because when you get someone who actually strays from the now norm, you panic and call your friend raving “isn’t this too soon!? Why am I meeting his family!? Does he want to get married?! What’s happening?! This is scary, I’m gonna run away now”.
So, to save us all the panic and public humiliation (in case we’re wrong about what we think we’ve read into), we play it cool. Like when your lovely relationship finally implodes, it’s best to see ‘who can care less’. “I’m not bothered”. “NO, I’M not bothered”. And we’re both fine…right?--Except we’re in our respective corners downing a bottle of Jack or binge watching The Notebook. A few episodes ago, New Girl solidified this phenomenon when Jess and Nick broke up---they played the ‘who can care less’ game. And they realized it in the end and decided to just be honest about how they were feeling. Which is so much better, but so damn scary. We have to be even keeled, emotionless robots all the time. But if everyone isn’t saying or showing how they really feel, then do we actually know anything? We’re all just existing. It’s weird when you stop and think about it. If what we’re doing isn’t truthful then that leads to more hurt feelings and misinterpretations. It’s a stupid cycle. Of course, I’m talking about when two people actually care because there’s always the instances where one person is a selfish, self-involved brat who is unaffected by the whole ordeal. In that case, they shouldn’t have been in a relationship in the first place, affecting other people, but unfortunately, not everyone in this society is capable of caring about other people’s feeling and, sadly, this is a frequent occurrence (one that could be documented at length in a separate blog post).
You always hear older people saying that once you get older you stop caring what other people think. When you’re 80 years old, you figure you’ve survived THAT long so, fuck it “your hat is stupid and you need to lose 20 pounds”, and you can say things like that because you have nothing to lose. In your thirties you look back on yourself in your 20’s and say, “Gurl, you were so dumb sometimes! Look at all those opportunities you missed because you were too scared to say or do something”. I’m starting to get that. When you have to go through some strong hurts that shatter your world (or so you think) and then you survive, you start realizing that you’re stronger than you thought and you begin to be able to open yourself up and become a little more vulnerable. Because if you survived the last one, you can survive this one.
HERE'S THE LINK THE TO THE ARTICLE IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A GANDER. QUITE INTERESTING FOR A COSMO PIECE:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/college-dating-screwed-up
Monday, May 5, 2014
Send A Letter, Save A Text
No one writes letters anymore. I miss that. Not that I ever got many, but there's not even a prospect of it anymore. We post 'thank you’s and 'happy birthday's on Facebook walls now. Invites to parties are electronic. Condolences are through texts. Forget about phone calls...most people get a confused look on their face when they hear a phone ring and answer "what happened?!" Because if someone is actually calling it's either that they're having a baby, won the lotto, or someone died.
The girl I babysit recently got a letter from another 7 year old. I almost died. Not only did she take the time to write it out but she also drew pictures. In a nutshell she was asking if the two girls could become better friends than they currently are since they have things in common and she thought she was nice. I immediately told her to drop that troublemaker friend she has who cut her bangs after school and get with this nice girl.
This girl has the right idea. I don't know how old she is but she sure knows herself and what she wants in life. I can dig that shit.: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/02/little-girls-brake-up-not_n_5255105.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
Apparently people used to write each other love letters. I never got one, but come to think of it, I've never written one either, so I shouldn't complain about not getting if I don't give as well. I've written a goodbye letter before so I guess I have put something out there in the world.
We need to write more letters. That's what I'm saying, audience. This is my letter to you. You don't even have to start big with love letters or hate letters or goodbye letters. How about just:
Dear so and so,
I was watching tv the other night and thought of you because I know blah blah is your favorite show. Can you believe they killed what's his face off this season?! Crazy!
Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.
Hope all is well and we'll talk soon.
Xoxo,
Letter writer
That's nice, I think. And yes, sending a text is easier and stamps are expensive now but one afternoon as you're sitting watching TV you should pick up a nice pen and write to some people. You can even drive or walk over (exercise!) and put it in their mailbox. I'm sure that letter will give someone else some smiles and send some good wishes your way.
Gotta go, I have some letters to write!
* My friend sent me this a few weeks ago. This may be the nicest love letter ever written. I cried, I smiled, so many emotions. Of course, all in secret. Because if anyone asks...I don't have tear duct. Enjoy:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emily-bracken/a-letter-from-the-love-you-havent-met-yet_b_5195511.html?1398341002&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063
NOTE:I don't know why but I couldn't get the links to hyperlinks. Sorry. But they are definitely worth cutting and pasting and saving. Some of the best letters I've ever read.
The girl I babysit recently got a letter from another 7 year old. I almost died. Not only did she take the time to write it out but she also drew pictures. In a nutshell she was asking if the two girls could become better friends than they currently are since they have things in common and she thought she was nice. I immediately told her to drop that troublemaker friend she has who cut her bangs after school and get with this nice girl.
This girl has the right idea. I don't know how old she is but she sure knows herself and what she wants in life. I can dig that shit.: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/02/little-girls-brake-up-not_n_5255105.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
Apparently people used to write each other love letters. I never got one, but come to think of it, I've never written one either, so I shouldn't complain about not getting if I don't give as well. I've written a goodbye letter before so I guess I have put something out there in the world.
We need to write more letters. That's what I'm saying, audience. This is my letter to you. You don't even have to start big with love letters or hate letters or goodbye letters. How about just:
Dear so and so,
I was watching tv the other night and thought of you because I know blah blah is your favorite show. Can you believe they killed what's his face off this season?! Crazy!
Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.
Hope all is well and we'll talk soon.
Xoxo,
Letter writer
That's nice, I think. And yes, sending a text is easier and stamps are expensive now but one afternoon as you're sitting watching TV you should pick up a nice pen and write to some people. You can even drive or walk over (exercise!) and put it in their mailbox. I'm sure that letter will give someone else some smiles and send some good wishes your way.
Gotta go, I have some letters to write!
* My friend sent me this a few weeks ago. This may be the nicest love letter ever written. I cried, I smiled, so many emotions. Of course, all in secret. Because if anyone asks...I don't have tear duct. Enjoy:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emily-bracken/a-letter-from-the-love-you-havent-met-yet_b_5195511.html?1398341002&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063
NOTE:I don't know why but I couldn't get the links to hyperlinks. Sorry. But they are definitely worth cutting and pasting and saving. Some of the best letters I've ever read.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Disney Princess Disasters
There’s been much debate over the last decade about how the classic Disney princess stories have been detrimental in little girls lives and have shaped them to believe that they need rescuing by a man. There has been a movement (so they claim) towards stronger, independent characters in these movies but there is always still an element of a male presence. I can’t think of any movie recently that has no male in it at all, even Frozen and Brave, have men in it that “rescue” the girls in some form. (I'm not certain since I refuse to EVER watch Frozen. I'm over everyone saying its so good and singing all those songs. Let It Go indeed! But I hear there's a man in there who treats her like a real dick so at least they're making it more realistic...)
Cinderella- needed help from a fairy godmother to meet the prince and become princess (her godmother should’ve told her that if he was going to fall in love with her it was to be for her personality not what she was wearing and sent her to the ball in her rags. Real talk.)
Snow White- slept for a long time surrounded by seven little men waiting for her prince to come kiss her and wake her up (she obviously didn’t read the whole Adam/Eve apple story...)
Rapunzel- Locked in a tower waiting for her prince to come rescue her (all that time and she didn’t once look for a staircase or make a rope of bed sheets to climb down? I don’t buy it.)
Sleeping Beauty- another sleepy princess waiting for her prince to come wake her up (That’s pretty much the only man she’s ever seen and she just goes with him? Keep your options open, sister!)
Ariel- Mermaid who falls in love with a human and will do anything to get legs and be a princess (Much love for my little mermaid, but how selfish! “I want legs, I want the prince, I hate you daddy!”....someone needed a time out.)
Jasmine- Spoiled little princess waiting in her garden with my pet tiger who has the pick of all the suitors (don’t even get me started on this one---Jasmine had no redeeming qualities in my eyes. She needed a time out, for sure. And probably a spanking.)
Belle: the sneakiest of all the princesses. Firstly, she wasn’t a princess she was just a girl who loved to read in a small town and was unimpressed by the insipid mind of the local heartthrob who chased after her just to prove he could get her. I loved her—she was strong and sassy and loved books and didn’t mind being on her own. She wasn’t waiting for someone to come save her and I thought (probably subconsciously because I was 5 years old) “Here’s a strong role model. I like this Belle”. But her story was the craftiest.
She sacrifices her freedom to save her father from the Beast (martyr) and then, as a prisoner, she slowly begins to see the good in the scary Beast and wants to help…change him (savior). Oh Belle, if time has taught me anything, it is people cannot change, or moreover, YOU cannot change people, they have to want to change on their own. Now, the Beasts I’ve met (in real life) aren’t really disguised princes cursed by a witch trying to teach them a lesson. If anything, they are the Beast before he was a Beast---charming, handsome, rich (not so much), selfish.
Of course, in true Disney form, there are lots of twists and turns in the middle, some singing, and finally when you think all is lost, true loves kiss saves the Beast, changes him back, his lesson is learned, and everyone lives in the gargoyle-free shiny castle. These endings were the greatest sham and, of course, we all knew it. As we got older we realized, most things don’t have a happy ending and not everything plays out like it’s supposed to. But it took me 24 years to finally realize that Belle’s story sneakily shaped who I was, and now I’m a little mad about it. She wasn’t the maiden in distress, she didn’t need to change or need to learn a lesson. She was helping others, and that’s a nice thing, but it doesn’t always work out and, unfortunately, there wasn’t an alternative ending to that story---the Beast never learns his lesson and she grows old and dies in that castle as his prisoner (after reading all the books in his library, of course). We grew up only learning the happy endings not the realistic ones, and the argument that those stories have a real impact on our lives is true I guess, even for girls who didn’t want to grow up and be princesses and need rescuing.
My mom always mentioned that I cried at the end of the movie and I actually remember that. I remember sitting in the theatre and wiping away tears when the Beast lay in the rain dying and Belle said “I love you”. I don’t know what made me so sad at five years old. Was it the fact that he was dying and his time ran out and they couldn’t be together? Was it that they finally loved each other but he was dying and the thought of them not being together made me sad? Was it that he changed and became selfless and he still was going to die? Who knows. I don’t know what it was exactly; maybe it was all those things.
Now that I’m aware of sneaky little Belle, I’ll be more careful in choosing my Beasts—ones that have some good hidden away underneath their rough exteriors. Ones who have already learned their lessons.
Cinderella- needed help from a fairy godmother to meet the prince and become princess (her godmother should’ve told her that if he was going to fall in love with her it was to be for her personality not what she was wearing and sent her to the ball in her rags. Real talk.)
Snow White- slept for a long time surrounded by seven little men waiting for her prince to come kiss her and wake her up (she obviously didn’t read the whole Adam/Eve apple story...)
Rapunzel- Locked in a tower waiting for her prince to come rescue her (all that time and she didn’t once look for a staircase or make a rope of bed sheets to climb down? I don’t buy it.)
Sleeping Beauty- another sleepy princess waiting for her prince to come wake her up (That’s pretty much the only man she’s ever seen and she just goes with him? Keep your options open, sister!)
Ariel- Mermaid who falls in love with a human and will do anything to get legs and be a princess (Much love for my little mermaid, but how selfish! “I want legs, I want the prince, I hate you daddy!”....someone needed a time out.)
Jasmine- Spoiled little princess waiting in her garden with my pet tiger who has the pick of all the suitors (don’t even get me started on this one---Jasmine had no redeeming qualities in my eyes. She needed a time out, for sure. And probably a spanking.)
Belle: the sneakiest of all the princesses. Firstly, she wasn’t a princess she was just a girl who loved to read in a small town and was unimpressed by the insipid mind of the local heartthrob who chased after her just to prove he could get her. I loved her—she was strong and sassy and loved books and didn’t mind being on her own. She wasn’t waiting for someone to come save her and I thought (probably subconsciously because I was 5 years old) “Here’s a strong role model. I like this Belle”. But her story was the craftiest.
She sacrifices her freedom to save her father from the Beast (martyr) and then, as a prisoner, she slowly begins to see the good in the scary Beast and wants to help…change him (savior). Oh Belle, if time has taught me anything, it is people cannot change, or moreover, YOU cannot change people, they have to want to change on their own. Now, the Beasts I’ve met (in real life) aren’t really disguised princes cursed by a witch trying to teach them a lesson. If anything, they are the Beast before he was a Beast---charming, handsome, rich (not so much), selfish.
Of course, in true Disney form, there are lots of twists and turns in the middle, some singing, and finally when you think all is lost, true loves kiss saves the Beast, changes him back, his lesson is learned, and everyone lives in the gargoyle-free shiny castle. These endings were the greatest sham and, of course, we all knew it. As we got older we realized, most things don’t have a happy ending and not everything plays out like it’s supposed to. But it took me 24 years to finally realize that Belle’s story sneakily shaped who I was, and now I’m a little mad about it. She wasn’t the maiden in distress, she didn’t need to change or need to learn a lesson. She was helping others, and that’s a nice thing, but it doesn’t always work out and, unfortunately, there wasn’t an alternative ending to that story---the Beast never learns his lesson and she grows old and dies in that castle as his prisoner (after reading all the books in his library, of course). We grew up only learning the happy endings not the realistic ones, and the argument that those stories have a real impact on our lives is true I guess, even for girls who didn’t want to grow up and be princesses and need rescuing.
My mom always mentioned that I cried at the end of the movie and I actually remember that. I remember sitting in the theatre and wiping away tears when the Beast lay in the rain dying and Belle said “I love you”. I don’t know what made me so sad at five years old. Was it the fact that he was dying and his time ran out and they couldn’t be together? Was it that they finally loved each other but he was dying and the thought of them not being together made me sad? Was it that he changed and became selfless and he still was going to die? Who knows. I don’t know what it was exactly; maybe it was all those things.
Now that I’m aware of sneaky little Belle, I’ll be more careful in choosing my Beasts—ones that have some good hidden away underneath their rough exteriors. Ones who have already learned their lessons.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Little Teachers, Big Lessons
It's been a rough week. And when you're standing on a train platform, soaking wet in the middle of an almost 2 hour commute and start to cry from frustration, it's time to say...whoa, lets take a moment and reflect.
I'm sure I've written about these books before over the years: The Little Prince and The Alchemist.
They never get old. Sometimes when I feel like my world is out of whack and I've forgotten all the things I've learned the last couple years, I reread these books to remember. And then I feel in balance again.
The Little Prince:
If you're not already familiar (I have no idea why you wouldn't be..do you live under a rock?!) this little book appears to be a children book but is actually a self help guide for adults. It's the story of a little prince from a far away planet who feels the need to explore and see what's out there in the stars because he's lonely. He leaves his flower (who he loves dearly, although she's beautifully difficult and hard to reach behind her little thorns)and planet-hops for a while, meeting ridiculous people along the way. He finally lands on Earth in the Desert and meets a stranded pilot, a snake and a fox. The little Prince finally realizes, with their help and after all his journeys, that he misses what he left behind and is still lonely, and he wants to go home--back to his flower who may or may not be there anymore.
This book teaches about the dangers of being narrow-minded, the hunger of exploring both the outside world and yourself, and the importance love and relationships have in helping you grow. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote this story on and off for many years in an effort to get the stories and pictures just right. And he did it. Which is why it can be translated in over 250 languages and still convey the same messages.
The Alchemist: This book is about realizing your Destiny, in a nutshell. It shows us how the main character, Santiago, has to travel for years and go through all sorts of trials and tribulations--loss, love, hard work--before realizing that his destiny WAS going through all that to become a better person who isn't always longing for what 'could be'. Just like the little Prince, Santiago is curious, and his curiosity and need to discover what his existence on this planet means, often drives him away from people and places he longs to be with.
This story teaches us that we must follow our instinct and be in tune with the world around us in order to really realize where it is we should be going on our personal legends, and also the danger of Fear, which often stands in our way of realizing our destiny.
Both books teach us that we have to go on a journey--it's called Life I guess--before realizing what we truly need and want, and what we are capable of accepting. Often times, we must leave the things we love the most in order to realize this. But if it is meant to be, if life is just a series of tests and lessons, we often end up just where we're supposed to be. When we look back, when we read the story, it all makes sense. And sometimes we have to reread the stories in order to remember this.
I urge everyone to read these books. They're short and easy reads but have so much meaning. And for those times we cannot learn through what we are actually experiencing, it's good to be able to learn by experiencing it through someone else.
I'm sure I've written about these books before over the years: The Little Prince and The Alchemist.
They never get old. Sometimes when I feel like my world is out of whack and I've forgotten all the things I've learned the last couple years, I reread these books to remember. And then I feel in balance again.
The Little Prince:
If you're not already familiar (I have no idea why you wouldn't be..do you live under a rock?!) this little book appears to be a children book but is actually a self help guide for adults. It's the story of a little prince from a far away planet who feels the need to explore and see what's out there in the stars because he's lonely. He leaves his flower (who he loves dearly, although she's beautifully difficult and hard to reach behind her little thorns)and planet-hops for a while, meeting ridiculous people along the way. He finally lands on Earth in the Desert and meets a stranded pilot, a snake and a fox. The little Prince finally realizes, with their help and after all his journeys, that he misses what he left behind and is still lonely, and he wants to go home--back to his flower who may or may not be there anymore.
This book teaches about the dangers of being narrow-minded, the hunger of exploring both the outside world and yourself, and the importance love and relationships have in helping you grow. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote this story on and off for many years in an effort to get the stories and pictures just right. And he did it. Which is why it can be translated in over 250 languages and still convey the same messages.
The Alchemist: This book is about realizing your Destiny, in a nutshell. It shows us how the main character, Santiago, has to travel for years and go through all sorts of trials and tribulations--loss, love, hard work--before realizing that his destiny WAS going through all that to become a better person who isn't always longing for what 'could be'. Just like the little Prince, Santiago is curious, and his curiosity and need to discover what his existence on this planet means, often drives him away from people and places he longs to be with.
This story teaches us that we must follow our instinct and be in tune with the world around us in order to really realize where it is we should be going on our personal legends, and also the danger of Fear, which often stands in our way of realizing our destiny.
Both books teach us that we have to go on a journey--it's called Life I guess--before realizing what we truly need and want, and what we are capable of accepting. Often times, we must leave the things we love the most in order to realize this. But if it is meant to be, if life is just a series of tests and lessons, we often end up just where we're supposed to be. When we look back, when we read the story, it all makes sense. And sometimes we have to reread the stories in order to remember this.
I urge everyone to read these books. They're short and easy reads but have so much meaning. And for those times we cannot learn through what we are actually experiencing, it's good to be able to learn by experiencing it through someone else.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Write A Poem, Read A Poem
April is National Poetry Month! There's only 5 days left so I am going to fill those days with poems I love, poems I wrote, and poems I haven't met yet. I feel like people don't write poetry anymore, just like people don't write letters anymore. We always used to read poems in school and I remember having to write them in middle school. I even have the first official one I wrote. I wrote a lot back them, and then I stopped. Sometimes they come out though and I like it. I like being able to reread them and remember the day, or how I was feeling or what made me write it. I have things written all over the place, in notebooks, in the Notes of my phone, on scraps of paper, it's pretty insane.
So in honor of National Poetry Month...
Here's one I just found that I wrote last February:
The whole world's sleeping
And I wish you were here.
Standing in the darkness
with a smoke swirl and a can of beer.
It was always so quiet,
But it's quieter alone.
The stars don't seem the same,
and I wonder if this is my home.
The whole world's under water
But I can hear you so clear.
Swimming in the darkness
with beams of light streaking near.
I was always so confused,
And yet this is still true.
There seems to be something missing,
And I wonder if it's you.
I can't decide if I'm Me with you
Or if I'm Me without you.
Ones not worse than the other
but both have a darkening fear.
Its different sometimes,
Sometimes it's the same.
But the stars don't seem the same,
And I wonder who's to blame.
Here's a couple of my favorites:
Sonnet XXXVI
Let me confess that we two must be twain,
Although our undivided loves are one:
So shall those blots that do with me remain,
Without thy help, by me be borne alone.
In our two loves there is but one respect,
Though in our lives a separable spite,
Which though it alter not love's sole effect,
Yet doth it steal sweet hours from love's delight.
I may not evermore acknowledge thee,
Lest my bewailed guilt should do thee shame,
Nor thou with public kindness honour me,
Unless thou take that honour from thy name:
But do not so, I love thee in such sort,
As thou being mine, mine is thy good report.
~ William Shakespeare
The Road Not Taken
By Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
HAPPY POETRY MONTH!
So in honor of National Poetry Month...
Here's one I just found that I wrote last February:
The whole world's sleeping
And I wish you were here.
Standing in the darkness
with a smoke swirl and a can of beer.
It was always so quiet,
But it's quieter alone.
The stars don't seem the same,
and I wonder if this is my home.
The whole world's under water
But I can hear you so clear.
Swimming in the darkness
with beams of light streaking near.
I was always so confused,
And yet this is still true.
There seems to be something missing,
And I wonder if it's you.
I can't decide if I'm Me with you
Or if I'm Me without you.
Ones not worse than the other
but both have a darkening fear.
Its different sometimes,
Sometimes it's the same.
But the stars don't seem the same,
And I wonder who's to blame.
Here's a couple of my favorites:
Sonnet XXXVI
Let me confess that we two must be twain,
Although our undivided loves are one:
So shall those blots that do with me remain,
Without thy help, by me be borne alone.
In our two loves there is but one respect,
Though in our lives a separable spite,
Which though it alter not love's sole effect,
Yet doth it steal sweet hours from love's delight.
I may not evermore acknowledge thee,
Lest my bewailed guilt should do thee shame,
Nor thou with public kindness honour me,
Unless thou take that honour from thy name:
But do not so, I love thee in such sort,
As thou being mine, mine is thy good report.
~ William Shakespeare
The Road Not Taken
By Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
HAPPY POETRY MONTH!
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Have You Checked The Data Yet??
The worst thing that could happen to an overanalyzing, overthinking perfectionist is….making the wrong decision. It’s earth shattering…to those people...not to me….because that doesn’t describe me...at…all. We think and we plan and we construct all the worst case scenarios. Then we go back and get expert opinions and analyze the data. And finally, we go over everything again until our brain is going to explode and we choose. And then we learn that we chose wrong.
So in a panicked frenzy, we go back to our data. We go over it and over it, shaking our heads “No, no, this can’t be right. I CAN'T be wrong!” But we are. Because no matter how solid our data is, there are other factors out of our control--people, events---things that don’t have anything to do with ourselves and our immediate airspace. Things and people who haven’t read the data, and if only they asked, you would’ve gladly shared it with them.
It’s one thing to be a fly by the seat of your pants type of impulsive person. The ones who decide on a whim to pick up and move to another city and then realize a year later, “That was the dumbest thing ever. Who let me do that? Oh well.”, and with a shrug they return to their original state. Those people are capable of shrugging because it was their own impulse that put them in that situation. There is no one to blame but themselves unlike the over analyzers who have to constantly keep a sharp eye out for all the various variables flying their way.
It’s exhausting. Constantly having to worry if it’s the right decision and being devastated when it’s the wrong one. I’m a strong believer in ‘you live and you learn’, because every single thing that happens teaches us something, but some habits are so damn hard to break. How can we learn to be the complete opposite of ourselves when it’s ingrained in our DNA?
That answer, I do not have. Because I haven’t done the data yet.
So in a panicked frenzy, we go back to our data. We go over it and over it, shaking our heads “No, no, this can’t be right. I CAN'T be wrong!” But we are. Because no matter how solid our data is, there are other factors out of our control--people, events---things that don’t have anything to do with ourselves and our immediate airspace. Things and people who haven’t read the data, and if only they asked, you would’ve gladly shared it with them.
It’s one thing to be a fly by the seat of your pants type of impulsive person. The ones who decide on a whim to pick up and move to another city and then realize a year later, “That was the dumbest thing ever. Who let me do that? Oh well.”, and with a shrug they return to their original state. Those people are capable of shrugging because it was their own impulse that put them in that situation. There is no one to blame but themselves unlike the over analyzers who have to constantly keep a sharp eye out for all the various variables flying their way.
It’s exhausting. Constantly having to worry if it’s the right decision and being devastated when it’s the wrong one. I’m a strong believer in ‘you live and you learn’, because every single thing that happens teaches us something, but some habits are so damn hard to break. How can we learn to be the complete opposite of ourselves when it’s ingrained in our DNA?
That answer, I do not have. Because I haven’t done the data yet.
Monday, April 21, 2014
I'M BAAAACK!!
I began this blog many moons ago because I missed writing. I liked being forced to write papers in college even when I didn’t care about the topic. I had thoughts and ideas and I liked putting them on paper. I haven’t really written in the last year because working two jobs barely gives me time to shower and eat a can of soup when I get home and, unfortunately, the weekend is time to play catchup on life duties.
But I miss it so I’ve decided to be better at it and will be writing biweekly at least. I’m doing it for no one but me, and I’m putting it out there in case anyone cares, agrees, disagrees, or is entertained by it. So, welcome to my 2014 writing journey.
I have a lot of things to say…
But I miss it so I’ve decided to be better at it and will be writing biweekly at least. I’m doing it for no one but me, and I’m putting it out there in case anyone cares, agrees, disagrees, or is entertained by it. So, welcome to my 2014 writing journey.
I have a lot of things to say…
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