2011, You Sucked A Big One

This year was the most tumultuous year of my life. In 2010 we said, "2010, you are not my friend" and then in 2011 we said, "2011, sounds like heaven".....boy were we wrong. I guess 2012 smells like hell? Who knows. This year was probably the most stressful for me but chocked full of life lessons. Here are some things I learned:

1. I've always had that House-like mentality that everybody lies and no one is what they appear to be. People said I was being too critical of others. Guess what, I was right all along! Life lesson 1: Everybody lies and people are never what they appear to be. Point Natasha.

2. The saying goes "it's what people do, not what they say". It's true. I can tell you the sky is purple and Big Bird is the president but that doesn't mean shit. It's our actions that dictate who and what we are. That's not to say you shouldn't listen at all because the combination of the two can reveal a whole lot as well. Actions, do in fact, speak louder than words.

3. If it's too good to be true, it's probably too good to be true.

4. It's OK to be scared, but you have to stand up for yourself and speak truthfully. You will ALWAYS feel much better in the end.

5. The biggest lesson this year: There is NOTHING you can't get through. Ever. Even when you've been to Hell and back, you have to figure, "hey I got back, didn't I?"

6. This world is actually smaller than it appears to be. We are all connected somehow. So, I guess watch what you say and what you do to others. It'll probably come back to you somehow.

7. On that note....karma is a bitch. "Do unto others as you would have have them do unto you" is another true wisdom. What you put out in the world will indeed come back to you. So be ready. Cuz there's quite a few people out there who are being hunted by Karma. And it's only a matter of time.....

8. People don't change. The end. Either accept them for what they are, or walk away.

9. I'm really glad I never made the decision to dorm for college. I would've been a hot mess. I was most definitely thankful for that choice after living with a girl and her dog and a couple of guys and their friends. I got my college experience in 1 year. Thank the lord.

10. I've always believed this....EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. There is a reason why we go through the things we do, and interact with the people we meet and see the things that we see. We can't rush life because it's already written. And it's definitely hard to see the meaning behind things when you're deep in it at the time, but at some point you look back and realize that everything has come together to make you a better person. I feel like I've lived 3 lives this year. And it's gotten me closer to the person I want to be.

Sometimes we have to go a few steps back and acquire some battle wounds to get ahead in this life war, but it's not the individual battles that determines the victor, it's the overall outcome of the war. Winston Churchill said:

This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

Winston, my dear man, how right you are.....

You Can Fight Some Things...Human Nature Is Not One Of Them.

Sometimes I think about where I was exactly a year ago on a particular date (today one year ago, for example, I was preparing to watch the Lunar Eclipse). And I think about how much things have changed since that day. It's amazing how things evolve, how you never expect to be where you end up. And it's even more alarming how much people change and how far apart or close together you become. The old saying is "things change, people don't.", right? So, could it be that in some circumstances they don't change but merely reveal what they've been all along?

I have a friend who's changed. And it's blamed on getting older. Except, you don't really change when you get older. You just mature more and get tired earlier and want to go to bed after 2 drinks. And I'm trying to figure out if this difference is him revealing what he was all along that I missed, or if it's because of his environment and other influencing factors.

It happens every so often. People not being who you thought they were. People usually show others what they want them to see. We obviously don't offer up the worst parts of ourselves or then we wouldn't have any friends at all. But after some time, our true nature is revealed and it always shocks me that, as observant as I am, I miss things sometimes. This usually happens when I've succumbed to some sort of emotional attachment to a person and are no long objective to the situations(stupid feelings).

This year I've learned a lot about people. I was quite surprised by a few of them. And in some cases, it was just them revealing who they truly were. I guess I can't be mad about that. Ones nature cannot be helped. It's just unfortunate that their ways didn't jive well with my undeniable nature. It always saddens me though. I try to live by the 'what you see is what you get' code. If I'm short tempered and bitchy, I'm not gonna hide it. If at times I'm a bit selfish, so be it. If I like talking about migrating to my new planet called Nay-tosh and how much I love Stargate Atlantis even though people have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm not gonna stop myself. Love me or hate me, but at least you're getting the real me. The only part I sometimes hide is the nice part. Cuz only the most worthy people get to see that side....

Christmas Is Not The Same

Remember when you were younger and looked forward to the holidays. Once it hit Thanksgiving, you knew presents and a week off from school were around the corner. Your parents got the tree and you helped decorate it, they brought home shopping bags full of gifts and hid them (usually poorly, because we always managed to find them) you made cookies for Santa and they helped you write the letter. We helped string up the lights and wrap the presents and it was this magical time during the year. But as you get older, and tied up with work and life and doing your own present shopping, that time becomes just another set of weeks in the year. It's not as special anymore. And I realized this week that we had our parents taking care of all the details. Now as adults, we have to make these decisions and traditions on our own. It sucks.

I want to be able to kick back and watch Christmas movies and daydream during class about what I'm getting for Christmas. I can't do that anymore. And it flies by so quickly. The holidays felt like forever when I was a kid. With this startling acknowledgement that I'm not a child anymore, came the realization that it's up to me to carry on the traditions and do all these things now. If I don't do it now, there's a good chance my future children won't know what Christmas is at all since I'll be so used to not partaking and facilitating all this holiday stuff. And as exhausting as it's going to be to keep up with all these things, I hope I help create similar holiday memories for my future kids as I have such as:

- sneaking into the closet and looking at all the presents before they're wrapped
- trying to peek under the door to see the presents we didn't find as my mother wrapped them
- using a knife to cut the tape to look at the wrapped presents and then resealing them
- stealing all my brothers presents at 6am on Christmas day and replacing them with a pile of coal (my brother is STILL in therapy for that one)
- catching "Santa" in the act at 5 years old


Guess I managed to find another downside of growing up....time killed Christmas. You heard it here first, kids.

Massages Are For Relaxing. I Don't Know What That Is.

I've only had 3 massages in my life. I'm not very good at relaxing. Can't sit still in this ADD induced world,and worse is that I never stop thinking. My mind's always racing. Always thinking. It gets annoying after a while but it's better than having no thoughts at all I guess. So, in typical Natasha fashion, my massage experiences provide entertaining stories for the public. Because, you can't make this shit up when it comes to me....

Massage #1
It was SPA WEEK in NYC a couple years ago so I decide, why not. Lets see what this is about. So I found this place in midtown and went with my friend. It was pretty busy and after a few minutes I was whisked away to a very tiny dark room by an Asian lady. I was told to undress and lie face down. I don't do very well in unfamiliar situations. I tend to get nervous and uneasy which is probably a hindrance to the whole relaxation idea. After undressing and lying down, I thought 'Jeez at least they usually buy me a drink before I'm in this state". The lady enters and begins and the whole time I'm thinking "Um, is she supposed to be going that far up my thigh?" and "What if she's a lesbian and is turned on by this whole thing?" and "What if I'M turned on by this?". Safe to say, that I hardly relaxed at all. I walked out wide eyed and said to my friend "I think I was just molested but I'm not sure cuz I've never had a massage before so I have nothing to compare it to". I didn't attempt another massage for 2 years.

Massage #2
My friend surprised me with a massage for my birthday/graduation present this year. We arrived at the place and I was handed a glass of wine. Much improved from the last time. I was shown to the dark room and told to strip once again. At least this time i was privy to what was going to take place. I tried very hard this time to clear my mind which meant counting backwards from 100 over and over again to deter my mind from thinking about my to-do list, my life, the past, the present, the future. After what felt like forever, the lady put her hand on my back and whispered something that sounded like "thank you". I waited for a bit, stretched out and wondered if she was coming back or if we were done. After 5 minutes I got up and began dressing. While half naked and mid sip of my wine, she walked back in. I was topless. She said "no, no! We're not done yet." Apparently she had gone to get a warm towel. I gulped the rest of my wine, undressed quickly and tried to get back in the zone. So embarrassing! After about 15 minutes she put her hand on my back again and said "now, we are done". We had a good laugh about it and I hightailed it out of there.


Massage #3
I purchased this one while I was moving this last September and extremely stressed. Figured it was well deserved. When I went to book it I realized it was going to be given by a man(so awkward!) and someplace listed with a suite number. On the day of, I headed downtown and found a big apartment building, one of those where people can rent out office space. I signed in at the front desk making sure they had my name, the suite number and the time I came in. I headed upstairs while texting my sister my location and clear instructions to call me at 1:25pm sharp and in case I did not answer, she should know to alert someone immediately. There was a sign on the door that said to wait, and after a few minutes the door opened and a man appeared. We introduced ourselves and I thought "fuck yeah! He's gay! This is fabulous. Nothing to worry about". I was shown into a room that was, in essence, someones bedroom. We talked about some of my problems and then he began a sentence with "my wife and I...". Downhill from there. I lay on the table and tried my counting again to relax. But while he was massaging me the whole time I heard in my head "He's tenderizing your flesh to make his wife a winter coat". Then there's that whole thing where they get extremely close to your body (and head) all which happens to be crotch level. So, I was very much aware that his crotch was at my head and that my hand was very close to his crotch as well every time he walked around. It was all unsettling. And then I wondered of course if they get turned on by all this (yes it's their job, but it's a natural response, people!) We finished, I got dressed and walked out of there never wanting to see him again (that's what she said??)


Final Thoughts:
I did feel better after than last one, and there's definitely some truth behind the idea that massages from men's hands are much more satisfying, but it's all so embarrassing. I don't think I would ever go back to the same person. I don't want to know that they know what I look like naked. It's weird. But, I am getting better at this whole massage, naked, relaxing thing.

Strip Club...Officially Crossed Off The Bucket List....

I've never been to a strip club in my life. That all changed this last Friday. It is not, I repeat NOT, what you see in the movies. That place was more depressing than a Bosnian orphanage. And I don't mean just the girls there, the men who frequent that place too!

It was in Yonkers somewhere and named City Lights (renamed Shitty Life, by yours truly). The online reviews stated things like "the girls are really down to earth and easy to talk to" and the lap dance was "epic". (Side note, if you frequently use the word 'epic' to describe mundane occurrences, I am sorry sir, but you are a douche bag. The Iliad was epic, so was the making of the Atomic Bomb. Sparkles rubbing up on you for 2 minutes and taking your money is NOT a member of the epic category. Sorry.) I digress....

Aside from having to pay $10 to get into the place. Yeah, that's right. They made 4 chicks pay the cover to a strip club. Assholes. They also charged $7.50 for a Bud Light bottle. I can't believe people do this on a frequent basis. What a waste of money! Some sad looking chick in a tiny bikini came up and rubbed up on all of us. We gave her dollars just to go away. As we played pool I looked around the room and felt sad. There were the girls who actually had some pole skills (that shit is hard!) and the other girls who lacked skills and looks so they just threw themselves at men in hopes that they would give them some money. There were the guys who were trying to get away from the wives who nagged them and the nerdy guys who have never been with an actual girl before and relished the attention from them.

We lasted about an hour in that place before we scrammed. We ran out, decided to burn our clothes in a big pile in the middle of the street and drive to the nearest clinic for STD testing (if you bring more than 6 people, you get a discount. FYI) It's most definitely not as glamorous as you see in the movies. I was expecting only one or two girls who were actually attractive (I like to keep my expectations low to avoid being disappointed in the future) but instead was met with out of shape pregnant crack whores. I don't know if I could ever do that. You have to be in a very low and sad place to have to rub up against strange, sad men. But, I can now cross that off my list of things to do before I die. Thanks, friends.

Quidditch Is A Real Sport. Get Used To It.

This weekend I flocked to the very creepy island of Randall's for some Quidditch World Cup action. Tickets for this popped up on Amazondeals one day and I said to myself "what the hell is this?! I totally need to find out what these weirdos are doing!" So, I bought them. And I wasn't disappointed. Quidditch is my new favorite sport. It's something you can't explain to someone. You really just need to see it. So, we went and we saw and we tried to figure out what was going on. It's just like the book, except (obviously) they are on the ground and not flying on brooms. I mean, if they were, they probably could've charged more for the tickets cuz that's some amazing shit!

There are the chasers, the seekers and the beaters. Some quaffles and a snitch. The snitch was the most entertaining part of the whole game. The snitch is a guy dressed in yellow with a velcroed tail. Their main occupation is to get chased around by two seekers. I wouldn't sign up for that job ever. I think they volunteer for the positon too! We saw a snitch dressed in a jersey a couple hours later. The game on a whole is quite physical. It's like rugby...with a broom. There's no padding, they get tackled,run back and forth constantly, and have to catch a ball with one hand and throw it in hoops with one arm. It's pretty awesome.

I also had a taste of my first Butterbeer. It was delicious. It's kind of like a warm caramel drink. Now I know why those Hogwarts kids couldn't sit still. There was less nerdiness there than I expected to see. These teams (which consist of mostly colleges with a sprinkle of high schoolers and random local teams) ran drills, stretched together and took a bitch down when it was needed without a shred of guilt.
There was merchandise to be bought (most of which was sold out by the time we got there at 1pm on Sunday), a fire-eater and death metal bands that sung Harry Potter themed songs. There's a rockin' song about Diagon Alley that I haven't gotten out of my head for the last two days.

Overall, I would totally do it again! It's held in a different place every year, so I'm really excited to travel for Quidditch next year! And, now I have a plan for my future kids. Cuz if they thought I was paying for their college, they're sadly mistaken. They will be working from the age of 7 for a Quidditch scholarship to Harvard.

The Good Old Days

A couple weeks ago, I found my 1st grade journal at my moms house. While flipping through the hilarity, I realized a few things:
1. I must of had a really good teacher because my writing improved dramatically as the year progressed. It's amazing how much a child learns.
2. I was as hilarious at age 6 as I am now. It's just something you're born with.
3. I love writing things down so that you can remember what happened CORRECTLY in the future. Time has a way of altering memeories.
4. Written memories can be used against the listed party at a furture time such as....

I was appauled at the tv my mother let me watch. From what I gathered from my greatly mispelled pages, from age 6-7 I viewed the following:
1. 90210- really mom? Really? You don't think I knew what kind of shenanigans were taking place?!
2. Swamp Thing- I believe the entry after this viewing spoke of a nightmare I had. Coincidence? I think not.
3. My Cousin Vinny- in this entry I wrote that it had lots of bad words. What was happening in the Alexandris household in 1991??
4. The Simpsons- yes, it was a cartoon, but really?
5. Blossom- promoting bad hair, bad fashion, and Joeys unintelligence. Whoa!
6. Kindergarten Cop- yes, it was about Kindergarten and I was in 1st grade but, was there really nothing else on??
7.Ghostbusters- promoting yet another nightmare.

Aside from my bizarre tv viewing, I miss how carefree and innocent my days used to be. The hardest thing I had to face was that it was too hot or too cold outside for me, if my sister punched me, or if I was sick and couldn't go to school.

If only I had a time machine....

Defriending...bleh.

I've written about this before. Facebook Defriending. It's rude. For those of us who are not Facewhores, we don't have 679 friends, we are selective with who we friend. I happen to know everyone I'm friends with, and I happen to know how I know them as well. So, therefore we know if you defriend us. We've all been there. I know you've done it, you've looked when that number of friends fluctuates. You're like, "oh my god. 181? It was 182 yesterday! Who defriended me?!" Then eventually you figure it out. It's like someone punching you in the heart. It hurts. "why would they defriend me? I wasn't bothering them out there in cyberspace? Did I do something? Are they mad at me? Should I say something?....it's a horrible and unnecessary cause for alarm.

It's a cop out though. Cuz no one would EVER have the balls to say to someone's face "I officially defriend you as of right now", but since we can do it from the safety of our homes we do it frivolously. I've done 3 defriendings in my life. And I almost cried while pushing the button (they were necessary defriendtions...sadly). It's so rude, it hurts my heart. And there may be some people I shouldn't be friends with, but I'm not putting that shit out in the world to come back to me. I don't like it done to me, so I'm not gonna do it to someone else (even if they won't even notice I'm gone anyway).


So please, choose who you friend wisely. Cuz it hurts my heart. And I can't take anymore heartache....

Friends, Lovers or Nothing

John Mayer flowed into my ears this weekend while riding the Metro North home. "Friends, lovers or nothing/There'll never be an in-between/so give it up" sings Mayer. And he got me thinking (there's not much else to do on the Metro). Now, he doesn't usually say many intelligent things but in this case he actually has a point. Those are the choices. There's no in between. That's the way things should be: it's yes or no, black or white, now or later. But,unfortunately we live in a society that likes to blur lines with people who like to cross and recross those lines on a daily basis. Our impulsively and technology's over visual stimulation is to blame. We can't just focus on one thing and be satisfied with our choice. We want it all.

It doesn't work like that though. Or, it shouldn't work like that. And for once, I'm with Mayer. I personally know too many cases where people are "friends" and "lovers" and "everything" and "nothing". There's even movies about the topic for gods sake. And case after case and film after film solidify the fact that you can't be both. You are either friends OR you're lovers. You can't go around saying "oh, me and mike? Yeah we're just frovers". There's no such thing. Everyone has a role and title. My friends, whether the same sex or of the opposite, have not seen my pikachu. They wouldn't be friends then. They would be something else.

I repeat: we are not friends any longer once you see my kouka. And I know, it's very hard not to be tempted by having someone else bake your cake, to eat a slice and then to pack the rest up and bring it home, but it never works out in the end. It just ends up being more work. So, I implore my fellow cohabitants of this Earth to pick a choice and stick with it. You're confusing yourselves and you're confusing others. And confusion then leads to talking and I know how much people(men) hate talking about blurred lines, feelings, and confusing scenarios...

Every Day Has A Meaning, Every Day Has A Memory

September 26th is a significant day. Maybe not to you, but I always remember it. I think over time as you age, you acquire a bunch of dates that have a special meaning to you. Sometimes they're good memories, like the day of your first kiss or first date, and sometimes they're less joyful, like the day of a death or the day someone you cared about broke your heart. I sometimes feel that I'm going to eventually fill every date with a little memory and no longer be able to wake up to "just another day". I like associations though. It makes you remember, even when you'd like to forget.

Today's the day my grandfather died. It wasn't that we were particularly close but it's a day I remember. Because he was the first person in our family to die. It's like he started a chain reaction because people have been dropping like flies ever since. He was my first wake and my first funeral. He died from cancer. Colon cancer that spread to his liver. I was in high school. I think by the time I graduated we had done a full tour of the Manhattan and Bronx hospitals. The man who drove a taxi and smoke and drank in the Greek cafes of Astoria, wasted away and died in a year. The man who was like the Greek Godfather (minus the cocaine). The man who loved watching John Wayne movies while drinking cans of beer and brought us a bag filled with chocolate whenever he came to visit. That's the guy I saw waste away to 100 lbs and die. It's sad, but it's life.

I don't come from the type of family that talks about their feelings and is very lovey dovey. It's just not who we are. And we never really talked about it, not that any of us would of if it was brought up anyway. It's something that happened. And everyone dealt with it differently. I don't really talk about it. I guess now I do via this post but I'm not good at talking about how I feel. I think it's a good time though. It's been 9 years. And every year gets easier. It's not so much that you forget, but you let go a bit. You don't clutch the memory as tightly as you once did. The first few years, I would wake up and knew it was going to be a bad day. I wanted to be left alone and loved the years the 26th would fall on a weekend when I could sleep and didn't have to go to work and see anyone. As the years have passed, I've filled the date with happier memories and less sulking.

Just as with anything, all you need is time. At first you're angry and then you're sad and then you try to sear the old memories into your brain in an attempt to remember them forever and then the feelings eventually fade away and it becomes just a memory. And when shitty things happen, I try to remember that I am not the first person this has happened to, nor will I be the last. There are other people who have felt like this and been through the same things. If only we were better at sharing then we would know that people truly understand. Maybe we could walk around with little bios of ourselves that we pass to the people we meet. That way we could know who has been through the same things we have. We could cope with things better and be able to commiserate. I try sometimes when I see that other people are going through things I've already experienced. I try to help them, but it's still hard to talk about, since I am not a talker of feelings. But everything happens for a reason, and people have to go through things at a certain time in their life for a reason. The lessons you learn, help you throughout life. They build on each other without you even knowing. And then one day you get IT. You just see what you've been missing all along. Because when things are right in front of your face you usually can't see them. It's like when your parents told you not to do something and said "I'm older than you and I've been through the same thing. I'm telling you not to do it" and you don't listen because you figure they have no idea what life is like now and they could never understand. And then you grow up and realize that you were pretty dumb back then and wonder how it is that you managed to cross the street on your own.
These last few weeks, I've finally had time to review the last year of my life and, I'm not so sure I understand IT totally, but I think I'm getting there. In the meantime, in honor of my grandfather, I'm gonna watch some tv and drink a can of beer. You should do the same.

I Don't Know How To Feel About This

I'm pretty much all settled into the new place. I like coming home and waking up knowing that everything is in it's place and where I left it the night before. I like living alone. It's so quiet. Which is a good and bad thing I guess. I miss the city though. Not like I don't travel there most of the week, but I miss living there. I went out a few weekends ago and was exhausted at 10:30pm. I looked at that M101 bus and said "oh please take me home!". Instead I had to get on the uptown 6 train for 40 minutes. Woof.
I still don't know how I feel about moving. There are pros and cons. It's two different lives. I like that it's quiet and drama free and clean, but I also miss the convenience and bustle. I'm writing this while my express bus just passed my old street and the M103 bus. I miss those dirty things.

Pros
- It's quiet which means I get to sleep in and don't have to answer to anyone else
- I have a 15 minute walk to work. Which is helpful since I'm not a very good morning person
- I love that I can see stars and everything is dark and quiet
- I feel safer being alone on deserted streets at night than I do on 116th with 25 people around
- I'm less stressed
- I get to be naked more! Hooray!
- I haven't had a full night of sleep since February. Since April, I've been a POW. I would get up in the middle of the night 2-4 times. Mostly because there were people coming and going all hours of the night. And I would get less than 7 hours of interrupted sleep almost every night. My weekend sleep-in was 8:45am. My body finally said NO FUCKING MORE. The weekend of the 9th was the first weekend I've slept in. I can't get enough sleep. I love sleeping. I love waking up at noon on weekends.

Cons
-The drama and craziness that consumed my life also caused me to smoke and drink more and eat less which led me to look better than I ever have. Since there's no longer that factor, I'm starting to eat more. Guess I'm gonna be a fat ass again
-The bus from the local bar in the Bronx stops at 11:07pm on Saturdays and 10:35 on weekdays. If I don't get that, I have a 25-30 minute walk down very dark streets. That makes me sad. I really, really miss 24 hour buses, subways and cabs.
I miss you M15 bus!
-I can't see the NYC skyline from the balcony anymore
- There's no AM paper. Thank god Crazy brings it to me every morning from the city. I'd be lost without that daily crossword puzzle
-No more last minute invitations out. If you wanna see me, tell me ahead of time. Cuz it takes me 30 minutes to get ready and 50 minutes of travel.


I don't know what side I'm on. The sleep factor is pulling me towards PRO but I do miss being in the thick of things. Don't you worry, Manhattan, I'll be back soon....

Football!

I grew up watching soccer, Nascar, and the UFC. We weren't all-American baseball loving fans. Although, I was a Red Sox fan for a while just to be an asshole to my fellow Yankees fans. Those hats are still my favorite hats. Football was occasional but I always loved the sport. I liked watching sports but I've never really had an alliance to any of the teams. I've fluttered from here to there over the years, loving certain teams for different reasons. I think I finally found my teams. It took a while, but I think I just needed to grow up and find out who I was before devoting myself to one team. Too deep and metaphoric, I know, but it's true. We don't really know what we're doing until we can devote all our time and attention to one person or team. That's when we know we're a grown up. Whether they fail or succeed or decline or become infamous, we're there. Through it all. And when people are shit talking and smacking you down, you stand tall wearing your team logo proudly. We don't back down, because we're loyal through it all.

I love most sports (golf is not a sport. Sorry.) but I really, really love football and hockey. During this last year I put major thought into who I was going to root for. In hockey, I decided I would go to home games for The Rangers, The Devils, and The Islanders and then decide fairly without anyone elses influence. I made it 2/3. I was amazed at how dedicated and friendly and fun Rangers fans were. They were so welcoming, I didn't even make it to Long Island (sorry Islanders! I usually like rooting for the underdogs but...).

Last Fall I turned my attention to Football. I became a fan of the Jets. Because 1. I loved the new found sibling team rivalry with my Giant sister and 2. people scoffed when Rex Ryan said they were making a comeback. I know, people's future is usually dictated by their past, but sometimes we have to have a little hope. Plus, Mark Sanchez was a bonus for watching the games! And I love how you can walk down the street in a Jersey or team t-shirt and you're automatically friends with people from the same alliance. It's uplifting to be like "high five, random dude! They freakin' won!". The Jets proved people wrong. And, even though they made it further than they had in a very long time, people are still shit talking. Which makes me root for them even more. I believe in them.

And, I would like to think that I am their unknown lucky charm. They seem to win every game that I watch from start to finish while in my Sanchez jersey so I've decided that I have a duty to watch every single game and not wash my jersey all season. Let me tell you, if that first Sunday game is a foreshadowing of what my condition will be 2 months from now, I may not make it to see them get to the Super Bowl. Shambles. That is all I have to say.

Our Bar Quest Continues....

The summer was spent trying to find an apartment and trying to find a new replacement for Pat O'Briens. So far, some close contenders but no replacement. I've literally been drinking myself up and down the Upper East Side. Not that I'm complaining, but there was A LOT of beer drinking. We have a few that are almost there but nothing compares to the awesomeness that was Patty O's. The following list contains the "almost bars". If they could all combine into one bar, we would be ecstatic:

Brother Jimmy's- 92nd and 3rd
Manny's- 92nd and 2nd
Stumble Inn- 75th and 2nd
O'Flanigans- 65th and 1st
Swig- 2nd ave between 84th and 85th
The Recovery Room- 1st ave between 75th and 76th

What's even more frustrating is that every time I walk down the street I see another bar that's closed down. 2nd Avenue, stop it. Just stop it. Went to Crowe's Nest one night. The next week, there was paper covering the windows. No warning. Just gone. I don't like it. And you all know how I don't like change and surprises.

Here's a list of bars that just haven't worked out for us:

Bradys--too divey, not enough seating
Molly's Pitcher--too dead
East End--too expensive and crowded
Wicker Park--too restauranty and dead
Johnny Foxes--too dead, no beer pong
Kinsale--too restauranty, no beer pong and we should probably not show up after we were asked to leave a few months ago
Jack Russells--too expensive
Rathbones- too restauranty

Among a shit ton of others. Major sigh. But I will not rest until I find "IT". It's out there. And just like most things, sometimes it takes a while to uncover. Even if it means acquiring some alcoholism along the way....

Let's Ease Into This, Shall We?

The moment you've all been waiting for.....WEBISODE TIME!!

I have finally begun posting my webisodes. Again, I remind you, they are meant to be funny. Please don't get offended. Not that any of you would, because you're pretty awesome people if you're reading my blog.

I hope you find my face as funny as I do....enjoy.

Someone Has Definitely Cursed Me....

So, September 1st was supposed to be the start of a new life. Negative. To be really honest, I was pretty scared a few days ago about starting my new boring life. After so much commotion and drama I don't know how to live any other way. If you asked me Saturday I would say I was terrified. If you asked me Monday night I would say "bring on the fucking boredom". I hope that I'm so fucking bored I sleep at 8:30pm every night. I have had enough drama and stress in the last week to last a lifetime.

After finally getting out of that building on the 31st, I had to deal with one of my ex-crazy roommates practically squatting in the apartment until the 6th of September. That's the long story short. He was out of town, not packed then came back and nonchalantly hung out for a day. And when I asked him when he's leaving that night he got crazy on me. Like crazy eyes crazy. I feared for my life a bit. And he's a big guy. Knows martial arts, did some underground fighting. That kind of crazy. Thank god I have witnesses cuz I can't even make this shit up.

So, instead of drinking my face off and building my new Ikea furniture on my last night of freedom before the school year started, I was running around the city dealing with squatters, drunk doormen, and police that couldn't do anything since it's not a criminal issue. My favorite line of the night was my friend who said "I wish he did hit me. I'd take one for the team". And that's what's amazing. I have some pretty awesome friends who have had to sit through, live through, and hear all about my life drama for the last year. There have been some pretty shitty times. Some that I'm not so sure how I survived and lived to tell the story. And if it wasn't for them I probably would be a puddle of tears right now. So thanks friends. For being awesome. But from now on you're gonna have to find someone else to entertain you. Cuz I plan on being extremely fucking boring from now on.
And if there is a heaven, when I get to the gates I better be on the freaking guest list cuz the things I have had to endure win me some brownie points. I'm practically a saint.

The New Chapter of Natasha....

Boy are you guys in for a treat! After much deliberation I've decided to start making webisodes, or video blogs. These will be just like my blog entries but live. That means you guys get to see THIS lovely fache. Someone a couple months ago said that my facial expressions are really hilarious and what make my stories. I'm not denying that my face is funny but I never actually get a chance to see it that often. They suggested I start filming my rants.

It seemed like a funny idea so while waiting for the Time Warner guy to come pick up the equipment this week, we decided to start filming to pass the time. Fueled by 3 Coors Lights, the start of a new era has begun. I usually hate watching myself on video and think that I have a pretty annoying voice, but the faces I make, the sound effects I have, and my flailing arms are WAY too funny to deny the public. So, it begins. Live blogs. I will talk about the same things I do in my blog and also have guest appearances by other people to shake things up a bit.

As you all know, I have opinions. And some pretty ridiculous stories. This is done all in fun and I apologize ahead of time if anyone gets offended(lighten up though-- Life is short). They will be posted to my Youtube channel and linked to Facebook so feel free to pass it around to your friends if you find it entertaining. The more hits the better.

Change Sucks!

I don't do so well with change. It takes me a while to accept it. Even if I know its coming. Its still hard. I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm a control FREAK but I do like having control over situations that affect me. I don't like being caught off guard. People are unpredictable and since we inevitably have to deal with them on a daily basis, I like to prepare myself as best as I can for what they may or may not do, that way it softens the blow when they sideswipe you with some other ridiculousness they've thought up. And I'm constantly trying to understand why people do the things they do and why they make the choices they do (I know I shouldn't but it can't be helped. Its the psychologist in me), and although I can figure out 98% of things, there are still a few mysteries. Mysteries that will probably never be uncovered.
Moving is hard. And, as much as I know this is for the best, its still hard. Cuz God knows that building and its inhabitants have done nothing but drive me insane for the last 14 months. And despite all the drama, good memories were still made there (they're far and few between at this point, but they exist). I remember when I used to pass the building on a weekly basis 2 years ago and think "who the hell lives in this random building in the middle of Spanish Harlem!?" Boy did I find out!
I can say for certain that this move was much needed. After only 2 nights I feel like my old self again. No anxiety, no wondering how many people are in my living room at 3am, no late night texts, no cleaning after other people. Your home should be where you go to get away from it all. Your sanctuary. You shouldn't be running FROM your home. Well, everything is a learning experience. For better or worse. And I learned a SHIT TON this last year.

Sheryl Crow sings "I think a change/will do you good"...let's hope she's right....

I Was Such A Weird Child...

I was thinking recently of the weird things I used to be obsessed with as a kid. It was nice to reminisce and I miss those things. Being an adult sucks. There isn't time to think about fun things or be obsessed with the silly ones. We have to worry about bills and work and how tired we are from life. Then there's the whole technology vortex thing. We didn't have those distractions as kids. We liked what we liked, regardless of if anyone else agreed with us or how different it made us. I've had some random obsessions over the years. I'm surprised I actually had friends at all. How did my family put up with it? So, here are some things I can actually remember. I've noticed that I've actually forgotten some until the memory is triggered by something. So, here we go....

1. Egypt. I don't know why. Since I was young, I loved everything about it. I would read books and watch movies and go to the museum over and over again. There was this excavation kit that I bought once. It was a massive clay rock thing that you had to chisel away and uncover artifacts from. I still have them. It was the most fun I've ever had and I always look for it when I'm in a toy store or a museum gift shop. I would happily excavate it again. I also used to play this online Ancient Egyptian game called Senet. I think I found it on the CDRom Encyclopedia my aunt had. I used to play it for hours when I was at her house. I miss that too.

2. The Encyclopedia. There was a set at my grandmothers house from the 1970's. I used to pick a letter and rifle through the book trying to learn different random things. I loved looking at the pages of Flags from around the World. We inherited that set which brought my obsession closer to home. I read it. The whole thing. I wish I had a set now, I would read it all the time. I love the encyclopedia. And don't try to turn me onto that online crap. Book form all the way.

3. Rocks. I had totally forgotten about this one until I went to the Natural History Museum in London. There was one room with rows and rows of rocks. I was instantly transported to a time when I would just look at my stones and try to name them. I would collect rocks that were different. Sometimes ugly, sometimes beautiful. Maybe it was the fact that no two are exactly the same that drew me in. Maybe it was the fact that some can only be found in one specific location in the world or that some take great effort to uncover. I collect seashells now. From every beach I go to. I have shells from Santa Cruz, CA, Tybee Island, GA, Venice Beach, CA, Norwalk, CT and some from around New York. It's something I do. Just embrace it.


4. Birthdays. I'm not sure if it's the birth dates that I'm obsessed about or the numbers. I used to make LISTS of people birthdays trying to find trends and similarities and patterns. Like, do two people who share the same birthday also share similar personality traits? It was bizarre. But it's what I did. I knew every one's birthday and got really excited when I found that more than 1 person had the same day. Now, I have facebook to notify me when it's someones birthday. I can't remember a single day. I'm surprised I know my own...

5. Books. That's ones still going strong. I feel like I read more than most kids. I love books. The way they smell, the way they feel. My dad had a pretty big book collection. I used to flip through them all the time. I remember reading about Alexander the Great and different artists and Birds from different regions of the United States. I've acquired my own collection now. Of which I've carried from place to place over the years, stubbornly refusing to get rid of any. I would gladly throw out shoes and clothes before I got rid of a book. And the ones I have gotten rid of, I usually regret. I sold my textbook for the Brain and Behavior class I had cuz I needed money. I've regretted it ever since. I've wanted to look up things all the time and then realize, oh yeah dummy you got rid of it. And believe me, I've looked for it on line. It's no where. It was such a good book....

6. Maps. This goes hand in hand with my obsession of the world and other countries. I don't know where I got that from. No one in my family cares about the rest of the world. I think it's fascinating though. I love learning about different cultures and people. I decided from young that I was going to be exposed to as many languages as I could. 5 so far. I collect maps. Road maps, country maps, world maps. I love maps. That's probably why I love playing Risk so much (even though I can only find someone to play with me once a decade). I keep a map on my wall and mark all the places I've been. I love the satisfaction of putting a pushpin on places. Maps make me happy.

7. Foreign Money. Again, this goes with my 'I love the world so much' obsession. I'm not sure how it started but I have a collection of money from all over the world. I'm also not sure where and how I've acquired all of it, but I have it. I guess I figured if I couldn't go to all these places, I could at least have a little piece of all the countries. Here's my riches:

England: 16.35
Canada: 35.43
Euros: 5.05
Greek Drachmas:203
Israel: .10
Dominican Republic: .80
India: .25
Mexico: 3.10
Germany: .60
Nicaragua: 1.00
Panama: .05
Philapines: 2.00
Uruguay: 5.00
France: 2.00
Australia: .11
Ecuador: .25
Bermuda:.25
Bahamas: .01


I also have a 100 coin of something in some unidentifiable Asian money as well as 3 coins that I cannot identify for the life of me. I am also pretty sure that in one of these countries, I am a millionaire....

Cooking Makes Me Happy

I love cooking. It's one of my favorite things to do. I find it relaxing and productive and satisfying. When everything goes right and the end result looks amazing on the plate, that's a big win. It actually makes me happy. Being in the kitchen makes me happy. And if you leave me there all day, that's probably the best and smartest thing you could do. Feminists killed that dream for me. Bitches. What's so wrong with being at home cooking and cleaning??

I have memories of being in the kitchen with my mom when I was young as we made bagels and bread and cookies. It was just something that always came naturally. I probably started using the oven on my own when I was about 10 years old when I bought a kids cookbook on a school trip (which I still have) and went to town with it.
Some people find being in the kitchen difficult and chaotic. I have no idea what they're talking about. It's all about timing and organization and being able to multitask. When people say "ugh! I've been in the kitchen ALL day!" I have no idea what they're talking about there either. What the hell is taking them so long? It's a process and once you find your groove, it should be easy. Anyone can follow a recipe but it's the execution and effort put into it that makes it good. You have to be able to think on your feet and substitute if, and when, needed. This is gonna sound ridiculous but you have to be able to understand the food. I feel like it's just something you know. I've always known just what to do.
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I love kitchen gadgets. When I walk into the kitchen section of Bed Bath and Beyond or Macys, I get so excited. I love shiny new pots and choppers and strainers and bowls. I love everything about it. I'm smiling now while just writing about it. I may have had a gadgetgasm. Sorry. Also, feeding people makes me happy. Hearing someone say "wow, this is so good!" makes me happy. It must be the Mediterranean in me. We feed people. It's what we do.

I'm even contemplating taking a cooking class at some point. In my free time I guess. Just to learn some new things. It would be nice to cater or open a restaurant but I think it would kill my love for it if I had someone giving me deadlines. And that being said, I would prefer if this love did not die.

This Baggage Is Heavy...

While waiting for my flight in Heathrow Airport, I heard an announcement about 20 times. After about the 12th time, I realized that there was a subliminal message within that message. Yes, the man was talking about luggage but after thinking for a while I realized that he could've also been talking about peoples 'baggage'. Cuz we lug that shit around all the time. Some of us have a carry on and some of us have 3 trunks full.

The man said the following:
"This is a reminder for all persons not to leave their baggage unattended. Do not accept or carry baggage belonging to any other person. If you see unattended baggage do not pick it up. Tell the nearest security officer."


We often end up carrying little pieces of other people's baggage. They don't mean to give it to us and we definitely don't want to accept it but is a transference that comes with social interactions.
Can you imagine if we could stop an officer and tell them this:
"Officer, this man has baggage. And he tried handing it to me! Please arrest him immediately. A few of his ex girlfriends may be in there. As well as his mother."

If we could only do that in real life…we all carry around baggage we just don’t know what kind of skeletons are in other peoples suitcases of crazy until it's too late.

Time To Move On....

I'm moving in 2 weeks. And with much sadness, I'm moving back to the Bronx. I'm definitely going to miss the convenience of the city but I could not justify spending 60% of my monthly paycheck on rent and living in a closet. So, back to the Boogie Down. There are some things I will miss and some things I won't. Oh, wait. That sounds like a good time for a list....

THINGS I WILL MISS
1. My balcony and my washer dryer that was IN my apartment
2. The gym in the building(even though it wasn't utilized as much I would've liked)
3. The travel convenience. If I needed to get to Astoria, Long Island or Jersey I could in under an hour. Now I have to tag on an extra 40 minutes in travel...ugh
4. The M15 bus. I love that bus.
5. The option to stay out past midnight on a weeknight, take a cab home and be there in less than 15 minutes
6. The view

THINGS I WONT MISS
1. Creepy doormen
2. Being woke up at 2am by a group of 20 kids yelling outside my building that they're 'going to fight' but are too pussy to actually do it
3. Being woken up by having to buzz someone in who forgot their keys, by doors slamming, by tv's blaring
4. Random people sleeping in my apartment
5. Dirty streets
6. cleaning up messes made by other people
7. The leaky ceiling


THINGS I AM EXCITED FOR IN MY NEW PLACE
1. quiet
2. My backyard....housewarming barbecue! Get ready for it. I also plan on planting vegetables and herbs
3. A 15 minute walk to work
4. Better produce at supermarkets
5. Getting to buy new things! Like a tv and bed! woohoo!!!

The Nerve Of Some People

So, I just had a moment and I need to get it out. I'm appalled at the nerve of some people. I'm actually kind of in shock and it didn't even happen to me. I used to watch LA Ink all the time. It was entertaining and I was kind of captivated by Kat von D. Well, no freaking more!!

I just DVR'd the new season of LA Ink and found her FLAUNTING her relationship with Jesse James. If you don't know who Jesse James is, here's a little rundown: He was married to the amazing Sandra Bullock and last year CHEATED on her with NUMEROUS disgustingly tattooed porn stars. WHAT?! You ruined a marriage with Sandra Bullock who is pretty much the coolest woman around....there's something wrong with you. First of all, Sandra should've known what was going to happen by just reviewing his trailer park trash past. Second of all, Sandra was famous for always saying that she was never getting married and then chooses THAT guy. We can't totally blame her. We all do things we know deep down inside aren't good for us. What's done is done though. She kept it classy and barely said anything about the situation and never trashed him.

As a thanks, Jesse James starts hooking up with Kat von D. and ends up asking her to marry him....does this man never learn?! So the first episode of the season was her talking about him and how in love they are and about their engagement. I felt like I was punched in the stomach watching this so I can't imagine what Sandra Bullock feels. Even if it's in the past and you say you're over it, no one ever wants to see their ex who broke their heart with another woman. Thankfully us normal people just have to go through the occasional run in and not have to see this new relationship in every magazine at the check out and all over the tv. It's horrible. The audacity. And you know, if Sandra isn't actually watching it, she's hearing about it or thinking about it. It's horrible.

Well, what goes around comes around. A couple weeks ago they announced that the wedding was off. Karma.


Jerk Face


Double Jerk Face

Here Are Some Things That Annoy Me...

In the last couple of weeks I've discovered some things that annoy me. Here are some:

1. Friend whores. Those are people who friend EVERYONE they meet. You met a friend of a friend once. You may or may not meet again. There is no need to friend them as soon as you get home. You are not friends. Do you really need to validate the state of your being and existence by moving from 478 friend to 479? That's another thing, people with a shit ton of "friends" on FB bother me. There's no way you ACTUALLY know all 850 people. I think over 225 is way too much. If you look at your friend list, there's about 25% you can defriend and they wouldn't know or care cuz you never actually have a chat or a comment or a like. Do it now. Go through the list. Seriously.

2. This isn't so much a thing that annoys me, but a thing that scares me. People who read the Bible on the train. Especially young people. It's so weird. Not my first reading choice. Those people creep me out.

3. Bike riding Brooklynites also give me goosebumps.

4. Bad parents. Don’t have kids if you're not going to take it seriously. Do everyone a favor. Raising and shaping human beings is a big job and if you're a hot mess, please don’t sign up for it.

5. People who invade your personal space on the train. Some lady sitting next to me in a 2 seater felt the need to sit diagonally with her crossed leg in front of me. Excuse me but this is my space, asshole. I wanted to ask if she would’ve like to sit ON my lap. I didn’t though because, unfortunately, my threshold for tolerating things I shouldn't is very high(have u been following my life?!)

6. People who have whole album of pictures on FB that they take of themselves. When the pics of you are only you taken by you we should be worried. I've learned over the years from experience that if someone rarely appears in pictures with other people there's a reason for other people not to be there. There is also something fishy about people who don't have ANY pictures of themselves. If their profile picture is of the sky or a frog or a sports team, I'd beware. Either they think themselves too ugly to photograph or they're running from the law and don't want the FBI to know what they look like. And in that case, they should probably deactivate their SOCIAL NETWORKING page. Just saying.

And lastly...

7. People who complain about it being 100 degrees for a couple of days in the SUMMER. Yeah, I'm sure that's supposed to happen, idiot. That's why we have seasons. They are also the same people who complain when it is 15 degrees in January. Are you ever happy?? You can't have it both ways. Move somewhere else. Do I like sweating standing still? No. But, I can deal with it for a couple of days a few times a year. A little sweat never killed anyone. I can't stand the people who act like they're being tortured. Before air conditioners, people sweated a bit. And smelled worse. And died from heat stroke. Be thankful that you can enter any store or train or bus and get cooled down.

That's all folks....until next time.

Moving Sucks!

Moving sucks. Packing sucks. Unpacking sucks. Finding a new apartment sucks. Handing over a shit ton of money sucks. I've moved 5 times in the last 9 years. 3 of those times have been in the last 4 years. I'm over it. It was never my intention to move that much. My first apartment by myself is known as the Rape Tunnel. I lived in the basement apartment of a small building, and although it was just the right size for 1 person, it was in the basement. Anyone remember the bum who lived outside my door for a week? I do.

This last move I got roped into because living in the city with a friend sounded like so much fun especially since I never got that college dorm experience. Boy was I wrong! You never know a person until you live with them. True fucking story. I got my dorm experience. Crazy girl roommate with her crazy dog who used to shit on the living room floor every freaking day. I paid for this decision by having to foot the last ConEd bill (which miraculously dropped almost $100 after she moved out) and Time Warner bill(which included the $15 worth of movies she ordered the week before she left). She also took with her my favorite cutting boards and ice cream scoop and the whole supply of Vodka (I've slowly been noticing things missing as time passes so who knows what else I'll discover to be missing). I'm gonna let that be my parting gift to her. Hopefully she remembers me every time she chops on my beloved bamboo board....

I also got to experience what it was like living with boys. I can now check it off my list and I know what to expect from my future husband. This building looked so shiny and new on the outside when we first got here. And just like with everything that looks good on the outside, I found it was rotten on the inside. This saddens me especially since this apartment was supposed to be lived in for at least 2 years. Apart from the ceiling leaking, and doorman calling me at 4am to profess his love for me, and the shady management company, and the memories that were made here, I don't regret it one bit. The last 13 months have been a learning process and I learned a WHOLE bunch. I actually noticed this building about 3 years ago. My friend Nicky Nice lived on this block and I saw it every time my express bus from the Bronx went down 2nd ave and I always wondered "who the hell lives in this out of place building in the middle of Spanish Harlem??" I soon found out. It was also never our intention to look this far past 96th street. It was a fluke. But I think it was meant to happen. I was always supposed to get here at some point. Because if we've learned anything over the years, we've learned that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

And now I have to go through the whole process of finding a new place and deciding if I want to stay in Manhattan or go back to the Bronx. I know it would be cheaper and quieter and probably bigger in the Bronx but I want to cry when I think about leaving this stupid island. This is where my friends are and it's so convenient to get anywhere and I'm sad to think about the 40 minute commute and the crazy people on the 6 train that I'll have to endure. I've looked for the last week and have seen only 1 apartment I would want to live in. But I fear it is out of my price range and although I would have a roof over my head, I probably would not be able to eat or go out EVER. I'm conflicted and stressed and just want to find somewhere to live. And once I do, I'm not leaving for a while. The next place needs to be my home.

So, we'll see what happens and where I end up. Moving is an excuse for another infamous Natasha party so expect the 'fuck you stupid building beach party' on August 27th. You've been warned....

London Part 6

Day 6-- The final day

All packed and ready to go. Had the hotel hold my luggage after check out so I could do a bit more last minute exploring. Actually looking forward to sitting on the plane. I've been walking for 6 days straight. Starting to feel a bit like Moses. My legs are killing me. I think when I get back to NY I'm gonna have someone carry me around the city. There's no way I'm walking anymore.

Buckingham Palace is bizarre (I finally found it!). The shear amount of people there on a Tuesday at 10:45am is ridiculous. Waiting to get a glimpse of the queen. Who cares. Took my pictures and skedaddled. It was such a beautiful day so I decided to walk around Sloane Square and through the whole of Chelsea and back to Earl's Court. Then I almost got run over by a motorcycle. I don't understand these lights and crosswalks. Some crosswalks don't have sign so you don't know who goes first. And the crosswalks tend to be less clear the further you get from the touristy areas. I'm officially frustrated by this so I decide to just walk whenever I walk. If they're gonna hit me, so be it.
On my way to the airport, of course it started raining which delayed our flight for an hour. Boo. At least I had 2 seats to myself. I must say I did miss this place. Not the drama, or the bills, or the mundane routine of every day life, but the city itself. I love New York. As fucked up as it is....


Final Thoughts:

1. the food is weird: these people are big into mayo, eggs, and shrimp. Sometimes all on the same sandwich.
2. When you go to a restaurant bar, they make you order at the bar and then the waitstaff brings you silverware and the food. I don’t understand. They serve me anyway so why not do the whole thing? Why involve the bartender and have me get up?
3. None of the people working in starbucks were actually English. Ive been to about 8 locations. I'm at expert on this.
4. The trains are tiny. Tall people have to stoop. Seats have armrests which deters obese people from boarding. That’s what we need in NYC. I didn’t see really fat people on the train. We don't have any boundaries or limits in America. We need to know that a seat begins and ends at some point instead of just having long benches people can plop their fat asses on.
5. The English are way more civilized. I didn't see any riffraff on the trains or on the streets. And, I covered a big area. Only saw a handful of bums while I was here. Never felt unsafe even when I was on deserted streets. Wait, I take that back a bit. There were some shenanigans going on in my hood. There were some stringy hair druggies yelling at each other one night as I was coming home. Maybe the clean streets detract from the shenanigans...
6. I can see myself living in London. Don’t know how I would make a living though. I would have to be an English housewife. I'm ok with that. I would want to live in Chelsea or around sloane square which I assume are the most expensive neighborhoods. Of course. As I'm writing this, I'm sitting across from a little butcher shop in Chelsea on Fulham Road. I would love to go to that butcher shop every day.
7. People aren’t particularly out of their way friendly but willing to help when asked. It's the reserved English way.
8. The tourists here are almost worse than the ones who visit NYC. So rude. Mostly the French though. Who do they think they are?
9. All the pubs boast having the 'finest fish and chips'...that's like NYC having the 'best coffee in the world'. Congrats. Buddy the Elf style.
10. There aren't many bars there and they all have that pub/restaurant Pig n'Whistle feel. NYC can have an upscale wine bar on the same block with a dive you'll get an STD in, a neighborhood bar, a Packers bar and a frat bar. I like having options. They also don't sit at the bar and watch 3 different tv's like we do. I missed that. I didn't know what to do. One of my favorite things is grabbing a stool and sitting in a dark bar watching a sports game.
11. I never get to sit next to the hot guy on the plane and never get to have that love at first sight run away to another country to be together experience. What's with that? I always get the middle aged woman or 20 something chick.


I discovered on this trip that I'm pretty awesome. Ive learned this year that I can get through things. Even if they suck and I wish they weren’t happening or if I'm lonely. It's life. We’re always going to have to do things that are hard. We eventually prevail. I don’t know if I’d do it again on my own. Definitely not in a country that doesn’t speak English. Its just more fun experiencing things with someone else. I did learn not to be so attached to my phone. I used to check it every 2 minutes of my day. Perhaps I’ll use it less in real life…I don’t know about that but a girl can dream.

London by numbers:

Money arrived with: 337.50 (BP)
Money left with: 16.24 (BP)
Total trip cost: $2175
time on plane to London: 7 hrs
time on plane to NY: 9 hrs
number of overtime hours I will be working to fund this trip: approx. 185 hrs.

see you next year people....

London Part 5

Day 5- Monday

It was a bit chilly out today as I headed to Wyndham Theatre to try to win a ticket to see 'Much Ado About Nothing' in a raffle. I freaking won! So exciting! After that was done, I continued with my day--on to the Courtauld Gallery for some more art. After that I got lost and wandered a bit too far. I may be the only person who was confused for a whole 10 minutes and thought Westminster Abbey was Buckingham Palace. It might have been the throngs of people in the area or blamed on extreme hunger by that point. Made it to my original destination--Tate Britain where I had a delicious lunch of chicken, green beans and roasted potatoes all for under £8.

Later that night before going to see the show I went to Harrods which is like the Macy's and Bloomingdale's of NYC. I don't know what I was thinking. There were so many tourists I thought I was going to kill someone. Somehow I got turned around while in there and ending up coming out the opposite way and walked in the wrong direction. Walked 10 minutes before realizing it. I was not happy. And then it started raining again. Shocker. And then I almost got hit by a double decker bus because in my confusion I forgot they drive on the other side of the road. We were going downhill fast.

Ate my final fish and chip meal at The Salisbury near the theatre and then while walking got asked for directions again. Another point for Natasha. First of all, my seat was 3rd row from the stage in a tiny theatre. Second of all, I almost died when I saw David Tennant. Him and Catherine Tate were amazing. The show was amazing. I even got to see David cross dress...he wore lace leggings and a very short jean skirt and make up. I almost died. And then he sat down in front of me on stage with his legs open while wearing the skirt. If I was writing an official review, that would totally sway my opinion of the show, thank you very much. It was so nice to see a bunch of people love what they do and have fun doing what they do. You can really tell that they all got along and it translated to the audience. I love when that happens. I want to sear what I witnessed into my memory. But like most things, it will fade with time. Silly time.

Great end to my last night in London.



big sigh. <3

London Part 4

Day 4-Sunday

Better today. It wasn't raining in the morning so that was a plus. Walked Bond Street which is like the Madison Ave of London then headed to the famous Piccadilly Circus. Not that exciting. Took Tube to Shakespeare's Globe Theatre. So excited to see Doctor Faustus. Of course it started pouring 30 minutes before performance. The theatres open if you didn't know that little fact. Luckily I had an actual seat and it was pretty covered. Best experience of my life! You have not witnessed theatre until you've seen a performance at the globe. It was raining on and off for the whole 3 hour performance. You're an amazing actor if you can remember your lines while water's streaming into your eyes. The rain seemed perfectly timed to the scenes. It's about a man who sells his soul to the Devil. Dark, wet and dreary. Just how I like them. At one point, one of the actors steps out and makes a declaration while pointing to the sky. Perfectly timed, a clash of thunder. We all just started laughing. It was perfect.

Afterwards headed to the National Gallery for some more art. Bastards there won't let you take pictures. I wanted to document some of the Dutch paintings that helped me get out of Hunter College. I still maintain that I hate that pretentious Rembrandt. Not as much as I hate modern art though.

I was heading to meet my new London friends for dinner and drinks and decide to skip the station I was at and walk to the next one. There are no coincidences in Natasha's world. While walking past a pub, I see Nick the Bobby(aka the neighborhood drunk) standing outside. He spotted me and stops me to say hi. He opens with "where have you been all my life?!" I remembered that this was his opening line the night before as well when I quickly answered "in New York?" Of course, he was drinking already at 5:45pm. He asks me to have a drink with him again and I say I'm running late to meet friends and can't. 1. just my luck to run into this guy at a DIFFERENT pub in a major city and 2. I hope he didn't remember that I told him I was leaving this morning...whoops!

Onto our first(and second) drink of the night. We sit next to 3 girls who are talking about their boy problems. Glad to see that London boys don't differ so much from the New York losers. Listening to them, I miss home and my people again. I have Indian food for the first time in my life and actually like it. It starts getting late and we rush to the Tube to get our trains. I got to experience a Sunday night when all the trains starts shutting down (I think they officially close at midnight). My train wasn't running and now I had to figure out another route. It was like the freaking Amazing Race. People were rushing all over the place. Met an Australian transplant who I followed for 3 trains to get to my destination. Quite an experience.

One more full day to go....

London Part 3

So the wireless here has been giving me problems. Or maybe it's my stupid computer. I have tried 3 times to write this entry and it doesn't save. I must say that the first version was very witty and I'm gonna try hard to recreate it....

I was not a happy camper on Saturday. The blisters on my feet were huge and it rained all day. I got lost somewhere in the city and walked for 3 hours and was soaked. Finally found London Bridge to cross to the other side and got splashed by a double decker bus. All before noon. I was tired, hungry and wet so I decided to skip a couple of stops and go straight to the Tate Modern. On my way, I got stopped and asked for directions. Point Natasha. I love looking like a native.
Finally found a place to eat (Founders Arms, I think). Beer at noon was much needed. There were some French tourists sitting near me who let their children run around the restaurant. They ended up crawling under my table. They're the worst. The French tend to let their kids do whatever they want and when they finally run after them, the fathers tend to do the chasing while the mothers sit there and look pretty. This is not my first encounter with them. Fucking French people.
Get to the Tate Modern only to wonder why I keep doing this to myself. I HATE modern art! I think most of it is ridiculous and a slap in the face to all the great masters of the old days. Run through that shaking my head for most of it and then head out again. While on the Tube got asked for directions again. This time I had no idea where they were going but I did try helping.
I decided that at night I should go to some pubs and be social. First drink at Rising Sun then I walked to Soho and found Carlisle Arms. I discovered today that it's no fun drinking by yourself. I think I started getting lonely and homesick at this point. In 2 days I had really only talked to the bartender at lunch. Looking around the bar, I realized that the bartender and a patron looked similar to a couple guys I used to date. Of course I would be the person to find their clones in another country. I cannot outrun my past, unfortunately. I was watching the patron hit on a girl and realized from my observations that he must come here a lot and was also the neighborhood drunk. I was right. Soon found out for myself because I am a magnet for all things insane and unstable.
His name was Nick and he was an officer (allegedly). I was wearing my famous plaid shirt and he said I looked like a sexy lumberjack. I was thoroughly entertained so I talked to him for a while. In the middle of our conversation he says "Thanks for talking with me. You must think I'm mad".....um, no. of course not crazy drunk man. He kept saying how hot I was and asked to take me for a drink. I lied and said I was leaving tomorrow morning. He said "and?". I responded with "you wanna have a drink in the morning?" He said "what about now?" I lied and said I was meeting friends.

Don't need any more crazies in my life. At least I got to talk to someone. Even if he was the local drunkard...

London Part 2

Day 2

Missed breakfast because my body thought it was 4am. So freaking tired! Finally made it out and to the Starbucks for some wireless action. This is going to be my new home. Took the train to the Doctor Who Experience exhibit. So freaking awesome. Rode in the TARDIS, fought some Daleks. Typical Friday morning. I decided to hop on the double decker bus to get near where I was going. Things I learned today: things on map are closer than they appear. Got on to only go 1 stop. And missed it. Wait, scratch that. I got off too soon and ended up lost somewhere around Holland Park. Not the park I wanted. Walked to the other one which was pretty far to only discover that I'm a big dummy for bringing the new sneakers I just bought to walk in. My pinkie toes hurt so much and I was only 2 hours into my day. I was 2 for 2 this Friday.
On my way I found my mecca--H&M. Bought a pair of flip flops then had some fish and chips at Rock And Sole Plaice. Established in 1871. I like history. Except I had fish and chips twice in less than 24 hours. I'm fish and chipped out already! Then headed to the Petrie Egyptian Archaeology museum and the British Museum. Observation and question: Why are there always so many Asian tourists?? Even in NYC. Do they work or do they just travel around the world constantly? It's like whole villages were in that museum. And they kept touching everything! The preserver of all things ancient in me was cringing.

By 4pm I was exhausted. And I already have a shinsplint. Great. Headed back to homebase and came to Starbucks to blog. 3 1/2 days to go....

Some observations: The men are more good looking here than the women and the pigeons are the direct descendants of NYC pigeons.

London Part 1

Departure: The second I left my apartment it started to rain while it was still sunny. As soon as I sat in the car my mother started with how anorexic I look and that I have to eat. Thanks ma, but I'm far from anorexic. Of course at that time it finally hit me that I was going to LONDON. Which is in another country. By MYSELF. Who the hell let me do that!? I've never been anywhere alone! If I'm left in the apartment all alone for 2 nights in a row, I start battling the voices that live in my head.
As we drove to the airport we drove underneath at least 4 different rainbows. I'm gonna take that as a good omen. 1 hour delay later, I'm finally on the plane at 11pm. I've never been able to sleep on anything that moves so this was definitely a test. It was helpful that I barely got sleep for the last 3 nights cuz my frat house was going full force all night....

Day 1

scratch that. I didn't sleep at all. Landed here 11am and was on the go. When I got to customs this conversation took place:

Lady: Are you traveling alone today? (she says while looking around)
Me: Yup.
Lady: How long is your stay?
Me: Until Tuesday.
Lady: Do you know anyone in England?
Me: No.
Lady: So, you're all alone?
Me: Yes. I'm all alone. (Thanks for rubbing it in, lady. Jesus Christ!)
she looks up and says:
Lady: Good. That's the only way to do it.

I had a rough start figuring out the tube, but it was pretty easy once I started riding around on it. The trains are so small though! Found the hotel, which isn't bad but the room is like a cruise ship cabin (for Jack, not Rose). Classic stupid natasha moment:

Lady at front desk: around the corner is the lift you can take it to your room which is on the first floor.
me: why do I have to take the lift?
Lady: Because your room's on the first floor.
Me; Um, and what floor is this?
lady: the ground floor.

oh. I felt like a major stupid American. Trekked to the Natural History Museum and Victoria and Albert Museum. Good times. Pictures to come.

Took the tube that night to meet my new London friends. At the Covent Garden stop I soon realized why everyone was waiting for the elevator and not taking the stairs....194 stairs up is no joke. They give you a warning on the bottom but I thought "I'm a New Yorker. I'll be fine." Negative. I almost died my first night here. Lesson learned. Next time follow the crowd.

First we had a drink at an underground bar that used to be a mens loo. Dark and swanky. Then we had dinner at southbank annd then had my first Pimms at a bar in an alleyway. It looked like Jack the Ripper was going to come around the corner and murder me. Pimms is some sort of drink that tastes like gingerale and white wine with lots of cut up fruits in it. Delicious. My new friend handed me an ipad and told me to log into facebook. I was more excited at that moment than I have been in the last few months. I squealed. I moaned. I couldn't make words. Best login of my life.


On an end note: cockfosters.

That is all.

To be continued...

On A Quest To Find A New Establishment To Serve Us Alcohol

Last month our beloved Pat O'Briens closed down. So many memories are now trapped behind those doors. That's where I first learned how to play Beer Pong. It's where we got drunk all together on a Wednesday from winning free happy hours. Many beer pong championships were won there against silly boys who didn't believe a girl could be good at a drinking game (mother fucker, Lisa!!)We've met people there. We've lost people there. It was dirty and falling apart and slightly creepy, but it was our home. The thing that really made it was that it was cheap, didn't serve food(so there wasn't the lingering restaurant crowd) and it had a circular bar. Aside from Applebees, there aren't many circular bars out there. So much seating and you get to see everyone. If I had some money I would totally buy it. How much could rent be? I could probably just move in there too,right? Bars and restaurants on 2nd Avenue are shutting down all the time. Our havens are slowly being taken from us. So, for the last 6 weeks I've been on a mission to find a Pat O'Brien replacement. I won't rest until it's found! Nothing comes close. So here's the chronicle of my adventures (part 1). It's gonna take me all summer to go through the UES but I'm determined.

Brother Jimmys- 92nd and 3rd. Our current replacement. Its dark, cheap and there are tvs to watch the games on. Live band karaoke on Thursday nights. But, its too small and there aren't enough seats at the bar. Plus it serves food and there's no beer pong. And, they started closing at midnight. Even on Friday and Saturday!

Stumble Inn- 75th and 2nd. Our second replacement. So many tv's! Good drink deals. Food's decent. Good music mix. They have beer pong but it's almost impossible to get a table and it's too big and crowded for my taste. I also had a man hit on me and then threaten to fight my friend(who's a girl) because she was looking at him the wrong way. There are too many shit shows there for it to be our haven. Plus too many girls dressed in heels with high pitched voices. woof. We didn't have to deal with that at Pat's.

The Gael Pub- 3rd b/t 83rd and 84th. Low key, dark, a bit dingy. They have 1 pool table and a long bar. Guest bartending on Thursdays. But the drinks are small and not that cheap, the tv's are small, there's no beer pong and the service wasn't that great.

Trinity Pub- 84th street b/t 2nd and 3rd. Candlelit, small, 1 tv, too romantic. All things that are not desirable.

The search continues....

Londontown Here I Come

I have wanted to go to London since I knew it existed. So probably since I was 7 years old. I thought this day would never come. It was never the right time to go. Well, it was never going to be the right time so I just did it. I jumped. And now I'm going to live my dream as of next week.

I always felt like I was born in the wrong country. I think the right place happens to be Britain. We'll see. When I was in 5th grade, I used to write in British English. My teacher marked all my 'favourites' and 'colours' wrong. I got back my paper and thought, "she's such a dummy! Doesn't she know that's the correct way to spell things?!"

I can't describe how excited I am. I don't think it's hit me yet. I'm going and I'm going all alone so it should be a very interesting adventure. 1. can I travel to a foreign city by myself? And 2. can I last 6 days with just me and my thoughts? Part 1 is no problem, it's the second one I fear. Of course I'm hitting all the usual touristy things: British Museum, Tate Modern, Globe Theatre, Buckingham Palace, Harrods....and then wherever my little feet take me.

A couple of things I'm really excited about: the Doctor Who Experience exhibit (all things doctor who! And I get to ride in the TARDIS! what?!?), seeing Doctor Faustus at the Globe (who is not Doctor Who but has a D.W. cast member in it) and possibly seeing Much Ado About Nothing with David Tennant (who played Doctor Who and is one of my celebrity crushes!) I will literally die if the last part happens.

So, rest assured that there will be an abundance of pictures, blog posts and status updates (when I manage to find some free wifi out there).

Cheerio, chaps!

It's A Small World After All

I find it ridiculously funny that Manhattan alone has a population of 1.6 million people, with 8.1 million in all 5 boroughs, and even with those odds you still manage to run into the same 100 people over and over again. How is it that 2 people can be in the same place, on the same day, at the same exact time? Aside from those coincidences of time and fate, the other random occurrences of 2 people having a mutual friend in common, or some other degree of separation, is equally funny. Oh, you're friend is friends with my friend? You know so and so? Me too! Your friend's friend was my friends roommate from college! And so on, and so on.

I recently made a web of a 6 degrees of separation with Crazy as the starting point. Please explain to me how 9 people got connected by a chance of series of events which only unfolded within the last 5 months. And not just 1 connection, but multiple ones that created a big circle where everyone was connected at some point. We should be a bunch of people who should not even know of each other but we do. It was totally bizarre considering most webs just end at some point. Not in my world. I get connected to people the rest of my life and my web just keeps growing and growing...

Of course, the more people you know, the bigger the circle is, but explain how out of 310 million people in the United States, and 6.93 billion people in the world, you end up with multiple mini webs. Before Facebook we had no idea who we were really connected with. But facebook tells us everything (even things we don't wish to see and know)...so and so has a birthday. So and so just became friends with so and so. X is now single, y is now engaged and the person you just became friends with has 4 mutual friends in common and you had no idea. Information overload. I'm starting to hate it. And this is coming from the person who loves knowing everything about everything. I don't like surprises. I like to be 1 step ahead of everyone and everything. Facebook helps me with that. But it also distracts me from doing anything productive and fucks with my mood.

But when do all these coincidences turn into fate?? Is everything suppose to happen when it does? When we look back on things we can see the bigger picture of what it all means. But what do all these coincidences and connections mean!? I want to know NOW! Life is so complicated...

Doorman Adventures

Doormen see everything. They know who's coming, who's going, if you're ordering Chinese food for 1 every night, if you're drunk, if you're sober, and if you come home at all. The flip side is that you see them every day too and if you talk to them, and if they're talkative enough, you know things about them too. It evens the playing field.

We've already visited the night my old, drunk doorman professed his love for me at 3am. That was interesting. I made it very clear that it was unacceptable and only said 'hello' or 'good morning' to him since then. Meanwhile, the night doorman tells me everything about everything. I like knowing things so it works out well. Last Friday he asked me if I had seen the old man that morning. I said that he said "Happy Friday!" as I was leaving (which is more he's said to me in a while due to his shame) in the morning but that I didn't look at him. He said that he had a black eye. And that his wife beat him up. WHAT?!?! Jesus. I thought I had it bad. Apparently he had gone out on Thursday night and didn't come home until 1:30am. His wife was waiting for him in the lobby and beat the crap out of him.

The next day when I came downstairs I tried looking and the guy was wearing sunglasses inside. haha! Oh boy. Well, that's what you get when you stay out all night drinking, come home drunk and don't tell your wife where you are. Boys, learn from his mistake. We don't want to know where you are at every second but it would be nice to know that you're breathing.

Then on Wednesday morning, after I said good morning he said "Natasha? Are you still mad at me?" I just looked at him and said "um,no" and ran out the door. Did I mention that during all those incidents he had been drinking? Yup. He was drunk by the time I came down at 7:15am. You have a serious problem if you drink before the sun is up or are still drunk when you wake up in the morning.

I cannot tell you how many times I've walked away from my building shaking my head. This place is like a vortex of the absurd and the obscene. You never know what you're gonna get. I'm always surprised walking into this building. 2 more months....

I Celebrated My 21st Birthday On My 26th--That Time Machine Came In Handy After All.

My 26th birthday was supposed to be low key. German Bierhaus. What could go wrong? Had some beer, some sausage, some pretzel. Then people started arriving and time kept on going. Mad M. showed up drunk from a 1 year olds birthday party and some guy took out a ukulele. Down hill from there. There was Shotski 1 (my idea). Absolutely disgusting. Then while on the balcony, a friend of a friend pulled out his ukulele (not a metaphor). He began rapping 'No Scrubs' on his uke then sang us an original rap. All I remember was him mentioning math equations and lots of sex. Then, the serious, big, black bouncer who finally laughed when he turned around and saw me playing the ukulele on the balcony, asked if I ever worked at Applebees in New Rochelle. Um, negative. But apparently I have a twin somewhere up there.

The table next to us was also celebrating a birthday. They were scientists from Poland, Austria and German. They sang happy birthday to me and then came Shotski 2. As heinous as the first one. I go back to my table to find a text from my sister that said "please not the fat one! Go home with the other guy!" Nice. Real classy. What kind of girl do you think I am?!

We ended Bierhaus with Shotski 3 and some hair braiding. On to another location...first randomly stumbled into a bar a friend just opened and then stumbled into Sutton Place which is like the less skanky sister of Tonic East. We ended up on the rooftop, grabbed a table and tried to sober myself up. Got into a friendly debate with Rock Your Body on how to properly pronounce Mario. Long A or short A and asked the group of guys next to us. Most agreed with me--it's short A (point Natasha). Most of our group went downstairs to dance except my Bro and me. The girls next to us were getting hit on by a bunch of Situations. They rolled their eyes and did the polite laughter then turned and asked for a light. The guy looked over and I felt the need to say to him: "hey, buddy. They don't like you." I'm not sure what compelled me to do this. He says "no, i think they do". So I say, "nope. I think YOU like you more than THEY like you." The girls thought this was utterly hysterical. Exit rooftop.

The dj of this joint played horrible techno. Lyricless music. Bleh. We were beyond the point of caring. There was a lot of Jersey Shore fist pumping, jumping, and spilling of beer(on my part). Then a broken toenail, a lost ring, a lost hair tie, and a found ring. I got home at 4am. Overall, a good celebration of my 21st birthday. Next year we'll try to stick to the original plan.

You Cannot Forgive, If You Cannot Forget.

It’s a fact. Because memory is what controls us and dictates all of our actions and choices. What we’ve seen, what we’ve heard, what we’ve learned, all come together and have an impact on our decisions. If we had nothing to recall or remember then we would simply ‘do’ all the time, and not weigh cause and effect and consequences and scenarios we’ve already seen and experienced.

We can try all we want to forgive someone, or to let something go, which is easier said than done, because even when you think you’ve managed to do it, there’s a little twinge in the back of your brain that brings it about again. That little memory that creeps up and then you’re flooded with all those emotions once you recall the memory. And the cycle starts all over again.

Memory is our downfall. And what makes us human, I guess. Then I guess emotions are the husband of this happy union. Because the memory dictates the emotion and the emotion directs your response. It’s all very complicated with this brain. It makes my head hurt sometimes. The memory of you being scared of a clown when you were 5 years old, causes you to remember (and exhibit) that fear when you see a clown when you’re 25 years old. But that’s the problem. Everything is a memory. So everything has a response. I was talking recently to a friend about how we associate certain people with songs. Hearing Fool in the Rain makes me smile, hearing the Red Hot Chili Peppers, does not. Our brain always tries to retain, to remember, and sometimes it causes us to remember things we don’t necessarily want to remember. The happy moments are always nice and usually welcomed, but it’s the bad memories and associations that are better forgotten—which funny enough, they are usually the strongest memories. The flip side is that without those reactions, we would just make the same mistakes over and over again, because we wouldn’t be able to remember how we felt when it was happening. Every experience you learn from—good and bad. I just wish we could remember the good more than we recall the bad that traumatized us so much.

When I was younger, I thought that if I didn’t feel anything, then I wouldn’t be able to feel the bad stuff either. So I ignored all of it. But emotions come in a variety pack and unfortunately you can’t just get the one type you like. So by sacrificing all of them, I ended up feeling nothing instead. The problem is that you can never get rid of ALL emotion. It eventually catches up to you. And instead of feeling a little bit here and there, you get crazy emotion waves that you have to ride. So what’s better? Riding that big wave every once in a while, or catching a couple little ones here and there? The feeling will still suck either way if it’s a bad one. I don’t have the answer. I wrestle with it all the time. That’s why you can read my emotions on my face now. If I’m pissed, you’ll know. If I’m happy, you’ll also know. If I’m annoyed, you should probably not talk to me. My face is naturally expressive but I had gotten real good at being stoic. You couldn’t tell what I was feeling when I was younger. I challenge anyone to say that they did. I still do it every once in a while. Old habits die hard. I don’t know if my avoidance of confrontation came first, or the denial of emotions produced it. So, as a warning, if you get stoic Natasha who doesn’t exhibit any emotion on her very expressive face, then I’m probably avoiding something. And what I’m probably avoiding is telling you that you’re an asshole (or something to that effect).

Our memories, and the fears that are produced by them, also get in the way of properly feeling emotions. Denying yourself something like love or anger will probably just blow up in your face. You can only avoid something for so long before you have to confront it. So, I learned, it’s better to just feel what you have to feel. Like babies—they feel what they feel and express it because they don’t have a trunk full of memories like we do. They’re not tainted by time like we are. So, when you find yourself emotionally stuck some point in your life (and you will), just ask yourself WWBF (What Would Baby Feel?) and freaking FEEL IT!

If I Wasn't So A.D.D. I Would Read

So, I've just been accumulating books to read. It's like I can't get through things fast enough in this crazy world. I can't keep up with all the new movies that are released or new bands or books that I want to read. I currently have 99 movies pending in my Netflix queue and 11 books on my book shelf that I need to read. Before facebook and my blackberry I would read a few books every month. Now, it takes me 3 months to read 1 book because I can't seem to focus anymore. A few months ago I started taking out books from the library again. It worked because I knew I only had a limited amount of time to read them before they had to be returned. The problem with owning them is that I can always read them later...or tomorrow...or next week...or whenever...

But I like owning books. I like seeing them all alphabetically lined up on the shelves in content order...it makes me happy. Even moving 4 times in 6 years has not stopped me from acquiring more and more. I can't stop. I'll throw out clothes and shoes (and even THAT'S difficult to do) before I throw away a book.

Here is a list of the books I have pending. In no particular order, of course. Because I could NEVER rank things that are so lovely...

1. The Adventures of Sherlock Homes- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
2. The World Is Flat- Friedman
3. The Hobbit- Tolkien (it's a reread from childhood)
4. Common Psychological Disorders in Young Children- Bilmes
5. The Road Not Taken- Robert Frost
6. The Idiot- Dostoevsky
7. Up the Down Staircase- Kaufman
8. How Full is Your Bucket?- Rath and Clifton
9. Aesop's Fables (another childhood reread)
10. Mindset- Dweck
11. The Know it All- A. J. Jacobs

I am currently reading these two simultaneously:

Drinking: A Love Story- Knapp (such an awesome memoir. I learn something new every time I read it)
The Beautiful and Damned- Fitzgerald

And this poor book has been put on the back burner for the last 6 months:
El Principito- The Little Prince in Spanish. One of my all time favorite books ever. My goal is to read it in as many languages as I can. This would be number 4. After is German.

I have a lot of work to do....

New York Moments

So, apparently the world was supposed to end on May 21st. It didn't. But it did pour some crazy rain out of the blue. Everyone was running out of the park onto 5th avenue to grab a cab expect no cabs were stopping. We finally got one and I get in the front with the driver. The transcript of our conversation is below:

Driver (looks over): oh. I only stopped cuz I thought there was a baby in your bag.
Me: oh. Um, there is. It's just really ugly so it's INSIDE the bag
Driver: I was actually heading to Queens.
Me: It's gonna be fine. You'll go to 1st ave then go to Queens. My baby's in the bag. It got it's fathers genes. Obviously not MY good looks.

He just laughed and drove us anyway. Just a classic New York moment....


Overheard a conversation between a girl and guy outside Pig n whistle. This wasn't going to go well. They were definitely in their early 20's. The first hint that it wasn't going to go well was her Long Island stretchy pants. She seemed to be trying to explain herself and then she said: Yeah, I have those guys who travel and come into town and I see them. But I've only had 2 boyfriends and they were both jokes...
There's already a couple of hints there that you should walk away, buddy. NOPE. He walked away WITH her. Wtf is the appeal?? Oooohhhh, she's easy! I get it. Guess I would walk away with her too if I knew I was gonna get lucky tonight...



You know what’s really obnoxious? When people come on the train smelling like weed. We know it’s you. It’s pretty obvious. One night I got on the train with my friend and it smelled so strong—even in a packed train. We started talking about it and said “who is it?? We know someone smoked”. This girl totally raised her hand on the train and admitted to it. We all started laughing. I like honesty. Only in New York City...